Hi victoria the tree is magical i can understand why you felt like that. Hope is a good thing .thank you for your kindness hugs zoe x
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Thankyou. She will be 6. She was just 3 and a half when Mummy died.
She said to me on Tuesday night at bedtime that she liked to look in Mummyâs memory box. She said â Granny, you know, there is even some of Mummyâs hair in the box and a Teddy with a red heart on itâ It it so lovely but breaks my heart at the same time.
Kate xxxxxxx
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Dear Kate,
How lovely for Brooke to have a memory box. I also made one for Charlie which we like to look through sometimes. I think it helps to keep Gemmaâs memory alive for him. Much love to you all xxx
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Hello Zoe,
I know exactly how you feel, my Sam had a brain tumour and Mr Iyer the consultant said âyou may not have a natural lifespan but you will have a lifeââŚI went into complete meltdown but couldnât show it because of Sam, the terrible thing is you live with that fear all the time. I consider myself lucky if thatâs the right word, we should have had about 6 months with Sam but he had over 4 years, but all the time your fear as a mother is overwhelming, I remember every night although I went to bed I didnât sleep and then during the night I would keep checking Sam was still breathing. Zoe, itâs heartbreaking, your Sam soundâs like mine a courageous boy try to not think of the dates just to think of Sam and what he would expect you to do.
For you Zoe,
Ask My Mum How She Is
My Mum she tells a lot of lies, she never did before,
but from now until she dies, sheâll tell a whole lot more.
Ask my Mum how she is, and because she canât explain,
she will tell a little lie, because she canât describe the pain.
Love
Helen
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Dear Helen,âŚI think those are the truest words thatâs ever been said and words that every Mother can relate to.
Thank YouâŚMarina xx
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Hi Helen thank you for your lovely reply . Just this empty feeling .your words are so true lets hope our sams are having fun up there . Much love zoe xx
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So pleased you got to visit the beach. Ive been longing to get to Crosby beach itâs a good drive. So calming to walk looking at the sea . Reminds me of the days I spent with Laura at the sea side in the Iom were she lived. Just afraid of getting so upset not being able to drive back home. Still pretty nervous after the RTA I was in last April. So many bad memories as well as good. Enjoy the beach x
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Hi Zoe , how has your day been? I have been thinking of you . So so hard for you, Christmas , new year and then those two awful dates in such a short space of time , how are you coping?
Hugs jss xx
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Dear friends. I know some of you have had to face anniversaries for the first time. Itâs absolutely hellish but as time passes I find the build up to these dates worse than the actual day. I have been a bit up and down as it was Brookes birthday on the 11th. I couldnât help myself thinking about how much trouble Lisa took over her 3 birthdays before she left her beautiful child. It breaks my heart that she isnât here now. We have Brookes party on Sunday at a soft play venue. Jemma has ordered a Frozen themed cake and got amazing party bags made of calico with a gold heart on each. Lisa would be so happy with all this.
We bought Brooke a big girls bike so she can go cycling with Granny. Not quite got the hang of it yet but she will very soon. I am finding happiness again but itâs taken a long time.
Hope you all find strength and peace.
With love, Kate xx
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Hi jss thank you so much for thinking of me .when we are in this awful place . I feel beyond sad .yesterday it all hits you just thi nk of the shock we all felt .me shouting being sick . And sam being calm as anything. it just a rollercoaster of emotion sadder than ive ever felt .
How you coping jss . Just to hard eh .thinking of you sending you love xxx love zoe xxx
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Hello Kate , we are over the dreaded Xmas . I know itâs so hard for you losing Lisa is the worst possible thing that can happen to a parent, and to be looking after her beloved child , well I could not imangin whatâs its like , . ? But I know you all love Brooke with all your heart , and to be left with part of Lisa must be beautiful although I know it brings sa many so memories , But we all know there is a life after they have left us and I know Lisa will so proud of you a Please wish Brooke a happy birthday from the Sue Ryder family I know she will not understand , but I know we will all be thinking of you Sending love Maddie xxx
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Thankyou. We are truly blessed with this beautiful little person. She really is delightful and so grateful for everything.
Thankyou also for her birthday wishes, I will tell her my Internet friends say Happy Birthday
Love to you, Kate xx
Hi Zoe , yes memories come flooding back and can be so crushing , painful and overwhelming. I have not been good, Christmas Day and new year now 2022 without my boy, just too much . Knocked me right back , have not been able to eat again and not wanting to get out of bed. Had a melt down day after Boxing Day , It was all worse than I thought it would be and the meltdown I think was from trying to pretend everything was ok when I just wanted to curl up on my own like a wounded animal. Still we just have to keep on trying somehow donât we ? You still have some bad dates to get through donât you , I canât see there ever being an end to it for us Any time soon .
Take care Love jss xx
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Hi kate brooke so cute .thank god for our grandchildren sending love hope she has a lovely party xx love zoe x
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Oh jss .this is just so hard .ive cried all afternoon . I hope we learn to cope better xx hope you start eatting again im the other way i binge which is not good either .sending strengh and lovel xx
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Dear Kate,
Thank you for sharing these precious photos of your darling Brooke 
Lisa will be so proud of her on her big girl bike, it is wonderful that you can share in all the delights Brooke brings to you all even though sometimes you feel sad as Lisa is not here In body but her spirit is with you always, she will be there Sunday at the party watching Brooke having a lovely Birthday 
raise a toast to your beloved daughter Sunday she brought this perfect little miracle into your lives who gives you all the strength and courage to keep on going 
Love Michelle xxxx
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Michele thatâs so lovely of you. I feel close to you as we lost our beautiful children within weeks of each other. We are still here to carry on and somehow we do.
Yes, I feel too that Lisa is with us. When we are doing something nice with Brooke I know she is there watching, sitting beside us.
Hoping you have a happy and peaceful weekend.
With love, Kate xx
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Dear Kate,
I feel very close to you for the same reason, I remember just reading posts at first as you starting posting before me, we have come so far from those early days, still so painful 
but somehow we have survived ,not sure how but it has certainly helped having the support of all our lovely friends on this site, canât wait to see photos of the Birthday party 
Take care love Michelle xxxx
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I will post them up after the party. Her Daddy has bought her a lovely sparkly dress.
Much love.
Kate xx
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We are lucky to have our gorgeous grandchildren and to be able to spend time with them. Happy Birthday Brooke and I know she will have the best day on Sunday.
We have Charlie here this weekend. I also feel that Gemma is watching over him still. She loved him so much.
So glad that we found each other on here and are part of this lovely group. We really do keep each other going. Much love to you all and some birthday balloons for Brooke 
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