Loss of our son aged 27

Hi Wynne and All, while away with my Granddaughter this weekend, a robin appeared hopping very close to us. We have often seen one when we have taken her places and they are always very near so we dont miss it. This is the sign a clairvoyant told me to look out for which my daughter sends. Its a great comfort.
X

Hello Wynne , oh its so lovely the signs you had on your trip to Wales, Iā€™m am so sure they came from Daniel he was there with you he has been with you all the time, what else can he do ? my councillor came for the last time to todat she has been great,but I do not think she realey understands how I feel she thinks because I have a suntan I look well and life has moved on little does she know the pain inside is still unbearable , But I must say Wynne the first day home from Florida we had a small robin pop up on the fence and was looking straight in the window , and when went to Dawn resting place a few hours later it was covered in feathers xx

Hello Maddie, Helen and everyone else. Canā€™t believe that next week we have to go through the sadness yet again of another birthday. Daniel would have been 29 years old and should be enjoying all the good things that come with being young but instead he has been robbed of time. We will never now what sort of man he would have become, he was still such a boy when he had to suffer so terribly with cancer. How does one accept this life now. It just feels like I am marking time, filling the days with trivia when all I really want is to go back to when we were a complete family. They say the hole diminishes but for me it remains as wide and deep as ever. So so sad that so many of us have only the memories now left. To my dying day I will never understand why and I just hope somehow to live now for him and accomplish some of his wishes. With tears. Love Wynne

Hello Wynne so thinking of you at this time of Danielā€™s birthday it is Samā€™s birthday also next week and will be 10 weeks since he passed. I am thinking that it may not be worse than other bad day as weekends are terrible anyway. I hope we find a way to get through it and I feel as though Iā€™m acting in some dark play and just going through the motions especially since my daughterā€™s wedding has now passed and we are back from Corfu. I will be thinking of you.
Salx

Hi Wynne and everyoneā€¦Itā€™s so true when you say all we have left is memoriesā€¦ once those memories used to bring such happiness and now all they bring is tears and sadnessā€¦You never know the true meaning of love until you lose a child, perhaps itā€™s because you never think the day will come that they will go before youā€¦ and thatā€™s when your heart is brokenā€¦Sorry for not being more positiveā€¦ Iā€™m just going through a bad few daysā€¦Love to you allā€¦Marina xxx

Hello Wynne, we dread the thought of these days as they approach. Feeling sad, the pain intensifying and we panic about how we are going to make it through. We ask the same questions over and over, time and time again but there are no answers. I do gain some solice from the support of people on this forum. Being able to share our feelings knowing that we are understood and not going mad. We can no longer see or touch our children but they are still part of us and always will be. This is one thing that will never ever change.
Remember the love, joy and pride Daniel brought.
Love and thoughts to all. X

Hello, Wynne will be thinking of you on Daniels birthday, another sad day to get through without them it just doesnā€™t get any eaiser does it Dawns birthday will be in exactly a months time . My councillor came for the last time last week and she thinks I am doing ok ,little does she know the pain inside is still unbearable and I could still scream and scream that my beloved Dawn is not here we are surrounded with her photos and ashes and that is the close we can get, I just hope they are happy where ever they are , I think they must be from there lovely signs they keep sending us . Take care Maddie xx

Dear All,
I am so sorry that we are all going through this terrible sadness and will be thinking of you, Wynne, on Danielā€™s birthday.
This site is a lifeline to me as sometimes I feel as though I am actually going mad through the grief and pain when I think ā€˜why did my beautiful girl have to leave usā€™? But we all feel the same and I so wish I could wave a magic wand and bring our children back home.
Much love to you xxx

Hello Wynne,
I so understand completely how you feel about Daniel, but as you say try and fulfil some of Danielā€™s wishes think of what he would do. I try every time to think what would Sam do. On Saturday 9th June, I stayed all night at the hospital as my stepdad had been taken in the previous Monday after a fall, he already had cognitive impairment which is the forerunner to demetia and was slowly deteriorating. He died on Saturday 9th June the exact date (9th) of Samā€™s death, his was December, my stepdad was June. It was 18 months. With love to you all Helen

Dear Helen, Iā€™m very sorry to hear about your stepdad, especially as itā€™s so soon after Sam. It seems very poignant that the dates are exactly 18 months apart. Again as we are all finding, these dates just seem to keep coming. Do take care of yourself and let us know how you are doing.
I have just come back from Dorset, a long weekend with the family, and the puppy , it was lovely to get away, but as always why was nā€™t Chris there ? There was plenty of room in the cottage where we stayed.
Before going, I have been frequently seeing Chris, sitting on the bench, a glimpse through the window of his room, just turning a corner. Just before leaving I saw him in the church yard and like a mad woman ran after him, calling his name and he was gone. I left some flowers so that he knows Iā€™m thinking of him.
Thinking of you also Wynne for Danielā€™s birthday.
Love to everyone here,
Anneka

Thank you Anneka, I think for mum it was a release really she had been his only carer for 4 years as he steadily declined. But it was so strange it was exactly 18 months and the the day the 9th Sam December my stepdad June. I have seen Sam just this last few days in really strong dreams, and I knew when they took my stepdad in to hospital on the Monday that he wouldnā€™t come out because Samā€™s voice in my head said Iā€™ll look after him now mum, so I knew.

With love Helen

Dear Aneka,
I can understand exactly what you mean about family events. We havenā€™t had any since we lost Gemma but I do dread them now ā€¦ I cope much better at home. I think it would really bring things home to me to think everyone else is there and she isnā€™t.
I love that you have seen Chris. I would love to see Gemma, even just a glimpse. I talk to her every day and tell her that I would love to see her.
Wishing everyone a peaceful night.
Love to you all xx

Hello Helen have not heard from you for a while , so sorry to hear about your stepdad,my dad died 9th dec 1972 and Dawn dec 11th 2016 so xmas is never a good time . Its funny you are having dreams of Sam at the moment Ihave started having dreams of Dawn for the time since she passed, which is so strange as she is on my mind all the time . We are off to Cornwall for a few days next week and I have decided to take her ashes with us ,we have some in a tiny heart ,she loved Cornwall so she will be coming with us . Especialy when Chis mum said she thought she saw him , I would love to see my Dawney again , one can only hope. Take care Love to everyone Maddie xx

Dear Maddie, Wynne, Samā€™s mum and all,
I have been wanting to see Gemma and have been quite upset as I am not even dreaming of her. I miss her so much, feel like my heart has broken in two. I talk to her a lot.
Then early this morning I took the dog into the garden (we now have Gemmaā€™s dog). As I was walking back to the house I suddenly saw a dark shadow move quickly in front of me from right to left. I was very startled but as I followed it with my eyes, as it vanished, I saw a huge robin sat looking at me.
I hope you donā€™t think I am completely mad but has anyone else experienced anything like this?
Much love xxx

Hi Vicā€¦No I donā€™t think your going mad I had something similar happen to me a few months backā€¦it was during the night and I got up to go to the bathroom I didnā€™t put any lights on for the moonlight was coming through the window, as I was crossing the landing a shadow passed in front of me I actually stopped to let it pass it didnā€™t frighten me for it felt so natural and I did think of Christianā€¦I smiled to myself afterwards for it came from the direction of the bathroom and Chris used to spend ages in thereā€¦I have never mentioned this to anyone not even my husband I thought people might think I was going madā€¦perhaps I am!!
Love to allā€¦Marina xx

Dear Marina,
Thanks so much for telling me your story it makes me feel so much better. I had the same feelings, not at all afraid and it somehow seemed familiar which sounds odd.
I havenā€™t told my husband either but I have told my other daughter who understood completely and felt sure it must have been Gemma.
I feel as though I have been thrust into a new world, a world which I sometimes struggle to adjust to.
Much love, V xxx

Hello All
None of you are going madā€¦our sons and daughters will get in touch with us anyway they can. I have had posts on Facebook from Sam and even his best friend Jason who is an IT specialist says there is no reasonā€¦so I know itā€™s Sam. He also lets me know when heā€™s around he moves the shellā€™s around on the bathroom window sill. And his pictures. When I saw Marcus the medium he told me what Sam was trying to do to let me know he is around so I talk out loud to him and I always get an answer back. He came for Roy (my stepdad) because as the ambulance turned up at the house on the Monday morning I heard a voice in my head and it was Sam. He said Iā€™ll take care of him now mum. Roy had become so frail over the last 4 years, when he fell out of bed that Monday morning he looked like something out of Belsen! So in some respects it is a release for him and for my mum. She had been his only carer for 4 years. She wouldnā€™t have any help. I know that Sam is all around me and I know as I have said so many times before, when I close my eyes for the last time he will be there waiting for me. Something I look forward to.

With love Helen

Hi Helen,I am so sorry to hear of your sad loss it must have been very difficult for you, bringing back sad memoriesā€¦take careā€¦

I think itā€™s hard to distinguish between grief and madness when you have lost a child or someone whom you have loved more than life itself,there are so many different emotions that are coming at you all at once it makes you wonder how you manage to survive or even want to ā€¦so when you get some little sign which hopefully you think itā€™s from your loved one you cling to it and itā€™s that which gives you the strength to carry on.
Love to all on our sad journeyā€¦Marina xxx

Dear Marina, Helen and all dear mums and dads, Reading all your words and being able to identify with so many of the same feelings helps to know we share in this pain. Another birthday has gone and it feels as if the gulf is getting wider knowing that Daniel is just never coming back no matter how much I yearn for him. Just before his birthday I had vivid dreams of him and in all of them I was trying to save him. Then I would wake and know the nightmare was reality. I love to hear how so many of you have witness signs from sons and daughters. As Helen as said love never dies and I am sure they would all want to somehow connect with us. I guess I just want to know that he is okay and that we will all meet again. I think as the time goes on the knowledge that this pain is forever is the hardest to bear. Being around good people helps and I am afraid several so called friends I have given the cold shoulder as I canā€™t pretend anymore. Sending love and hope. Wynne

Hi Wynne just thought Iā€™d tell you about what I feel are signs from our Sam recently. It was his birthday on Friday 22nd June so difficult week also for us. I attended the local gym that Sam had introduction me and his dad to initially, the day before and the day after his birthday to swim and both times I pulled into the huge car park and found a parking space while getting the courage to go in. Both times there was a different car opposite me with the registration plate saying SAM. I like to think he was encouraging me to keep swimming as he was the one who egged me to learn to swim last year. I love the idea of this topic as I have found it interesting and helpful, thinking of you Wynne and all of the others taking some comfort from this forum.
Sal xx