To all the lovely ladys on this site .i dont know what i would do if i didnt come on here .its like my bit of saftey.sounds mad .but we in the same club .thank you so much xx all have a good weekend xx love zoe xx
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Does not sound mad at all Zoe . I totally agree with your words , such comfort from others on here , others who really understand.
Jss xx
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Thankyou Victoria. Jemma and Brooke are here. More presents have arrived from some of Lisaās friends. She is having a lovely time. Jemma got an amazing cake made for Brooke.
Enjoy your Charlie this weekend. They keep us positive.
Lots of love. Kate xxx
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Hey Zoe,
Not mad at all, we all need this safety net, from other mumās who actually understand the anguish the helplessness and just to be able to say exactly how we are feeling and not thought of as ābonkersā for wont of a better expression. Even after 5 years I have terrible moments times when Iām unable to cope with losing Sam, who was my rock. I remember when he had had the operation and some months after was beginning to heal and he was off out with his friend Jason or a group of friends and I would keep ringing, he never moaned or shouted at me, all I would get when he did answer was āMOTHERā and Iād know and say I canāt help it Sam I need to know youāre OK, he just say yes mum Iām fine! For over 4 years I lived in total fear of losing him, yet I would live like that again if it meant he could still be here. Like all of us we would give our lives anything just to have them back.
love
Helen
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Helen, I know that feeling of fear, being scared, frightened and not daring to look too far ahead. It was a living nightmare but you put it so well, we would do it again if we we could have Jo and Sam with us.
These conversations we all have, sharing our stories and our innermost thoughts are so unique to us. They gel us together in our loss, a place where we wish we werenāt, but they also almost set us free from thinking that we alone in this odd world we find ourselves.
Keep posting everyone, it truly helps unburden ourselves.
Kate, I hope Brooke has an amazing time. Lisa will be right there.
Take care all
Love Chris xx
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Hi Everyone
Iāve not been on the site for a while.
To be honest I havenāt been feeling able to put my feelings down or even to support others.
I have spoken to friends and Scott is mentioned every single day and thought about constantly but sometimes trying to distract myself from my thoughts is all I can do to survive.
That doesnāt mean I donāt completely thank you all, when I canāt hold it in or when Iām in the depths of despair you have all been so kind and you have no idea how much that has meant to me and how many times you have been there to support me when I needed you most.
I hope 2022 finds you all well and that it is a peaceful year for you all
Anne x
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Hi Anne, I too have been feeling really down the last 2 weeks, Christmas and new year so painful. I have still come on this site everyday to read posts that have helped me get through, even tho I might not have been able to comment I still got much comfort from the posts from other people. I agree with you ,Thank goodness we have this site and the support from others. Hope you feel a little better soon. Love jss xx
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Dear Anne, thank you for posting this evening ā¦ it is lovely to hear from you and I am so sorry you have not been very good. It is very hard ā¦ baby steps is the way forward. Sometimes we slip back but you will slowly move forward. You are so brave and you have got this far. Take care and sending you lots of love and hugs and post again soon 
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Dear Anne
I really can relate to your post. Sometimes it upsets me more to put my feelings into words and I start to cry. It also makes it real that my darling Kathryn is not coming back. It just doesnāt get easier.
Sending love and hugs Deborah
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Hi Deborah
No it doesnāt get any easier and sometimes the only way I can cope is to think about something else; watch a movie; see what friends have been up to on Instagram etc
The very last thing I can do is think about what Iāve lost and the pain that we have every day.
Sometimes Iām strong enough to watch a video of him and find joy in seeing his face other times thatās too unbearable.
We have both had the worst year of our lives and that pain will continue you with good days and bad days.
Thank you to for all the support you and so many others have given me on this site. I may not always be up to posting but I think of you all.
Anne x
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Dear Anneā¦I think you have coped remarkable well this last year and you are stronger than you think,there will be many set backs but with each one you will find you are getting a little stronger each timeā¦Itās not easy I know, but with the love of family,friends and people on this site you will copeā¦Your son is locked in your heart and he walks beside you,he will get you thereā¦Take care Marina xxx
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I stood by your bed last night; I came to have a peep.
I could see that you were crying; you found it hard to sleep.
I spoke to you softly as you brushed away a tear,
āItās me, I havenāt left you, Iām well, Iām fine, Iām here.ā
I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea,
You were thinking of the many things and memories of me.
I was with you at the shops today; your arms were getting sore.
I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more.
I was with you at my grave today; you tend it with such care.
I want to re-assure you, that Iām not lying there.
I walked with you towards the house, as you fumbled for your key.
I gently put my hand on you; I smiled and said, āitās me.ā
You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair.
I tried so hard to let you know, that I was standing there.
Itās possible for me, to be so near you everyday.
To say to you with certainty, āI never went away.ā
You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knewā¦
in the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.
The day is overā¦ I smile and watch you yawning
and say āgood-night, God bless, Iāll see you in the morning.ā
And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,
Iāll rush across to greet you and weāll stand, side by side.
I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see.
Be patient, live your journey outā¦then come home to me.
Author Unknown
Beautiful drawing by Charlie Mackesy
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Hi Victoriaā¦You have me in years once again,ā¦,that was beautiful xxx
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Hi Victoria,
Like Marina, iām in tears, I know Sam is right by my side which is how I manage to cope most of the time.
Love
Helen
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I have felt Gemma around and also my mum so I did find these words uplifting and comforting 
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Hi dear friends. So Brookes night day finally arrived.
She was so excited. A great time was had by all. I felt happy and proud. No sadness today.
Love to all.
Kate xx
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What a great photo and such joy and happinessā¦you have such a lovely family Kate you must be so proud of themā¦and I think it shows that from sadness can come happiness.
Thanks for sharing it with us. Marina xxx
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It was birthday yesterday , and I so wanted a message from Dawn . On her anniversary on the 11th of December , I know something happened I went to pull the blind in our bedroom and the her photo on my dresser just slid off no exsalption . Just watjing her beautiful wedding in Disney . I so hope hope I could wake up and wish it was a bad dream Maddie xx
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Thankyou Marina. Indeed it can. I really didnāt feel sad at all. All the mums and dadās are so supportive and understanding, a real bonus for Jamie. They are all keen to play golf with him, have playdates with their kids etc.
Really nice people.
Lots of love.
Kate xx
I am feeling Hi Kate so pleased you had a lovely time with Brooke , I know itā was tinged with sadness. And I know itās another move on without without our beautiful girls. I sure Lisa would have been looking own and would have been so proud of you looking after her beautiful Daughter . I turned 73 yesterday . , and I cannot believe I have managed to carry on without Dawn. I did get I card from Sarah , although I havenāt seen her for atleast 6 weeks but it is a start . . We have been texting, but without my only one sibling that doesnāt know how I am actually feeling is so hard . And the worse thing is that my husband who is now 83 years old , I feel , life is so hard , he has always been so fit . And now , I know Dawn would be there to help me with her father . I just feel so alone at the moment. . . Maddie xxx
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