Dear Donna,
Oh my goodness, what a beautiful little boy, am so deeply sorry for your loss of your preciousbaby boy, then to loose your husband so soon after must have been so so hard, you had no choice but to carry for your other children, your mother instinct just took over but I would imagine you haven’t had time to grieve fully as you have had to put others first and now it probably feels as if it only happened yesterday 
my lovely precious son Matt passed away in May 2019 at the age of 22 and the lovely friends on here help so much, just reading others posts helps to make you feel you are not alone on this horrendous journey, welcome my friend 
Love Michelle xxx
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This is so true Donna, Michelle and all. Without you all I really don’t know where I would be. We are each others therapists. We talk, we listen, we lay bare our souls and we send love and support to each other.
Much love,
Kate xxx
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I am so sorry for all you have gone through 
I am realising that the only way to cope is to talk.
I won’t go into details but I have had to stay strong for such a long time because there has been so many things happened over the years with family needing me to support them.
I have sacrificed my friends and as the years have gone by I have lost everyone that I was able to talk to.
I realise I have been so busy putting everyone else’s needs before my own grief and that’s been my downfall
I accept now is the time to say no and put myself first for a while.
Now I have found this amazing group I have somewhere to go to do the talking,
And I will x
Thank you all for all your kindness
I hope I am able to return the kindness to others in return xxx
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Hi all .this sadness is awfull im so broken feel terrible yonight .just want sam back .its to hard zoe x
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Hi Zoe
I too am having a bad day. In my darkest days I have pleaded with God to give me my daughter back but I know it’s not possible. I don’t know what you believe but I know that my daughter is around me and it gives me some comfort. I have had so many signs. I believe that our children are still with us, nothing could break that bond between parent and child. Thinking of you and you too Donna. Not a group that you wanted to join but we are all here for each other.
Sending love and hugs Deborah 
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I lost my daughter only one week ago.I am so confused.She was in hospital 6 months with no diagnosis.In the end she could not walk she was doubly incontinent and she could not feed herself.She got pneumonia and couldn’t fight it off.How can somebody so healthy end up like that.She was 44.
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Thank you Deborah its just like a rollercoaster .its so hard . I really sam is about i do believe that but i just want to cudlle him .laugh with him want my boy back.my daughter jess is struggling so much .our family is broken take care thank you for talking much love zoe xx
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Oh kath
Im so very very sorry for your loss
I dont know why these terrible things happen .your in shock its so traumatic. Youve come to the right place we all here for each other.so very sorry sending you a hug .love zoe xxx
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Dear Kath,
So deeply sorry for the loss of your precious daughter I’m sure you are in shock please keep posting as we have all walked in your shoes and will try and support you as much as possible, your daughter will be by your side always she is safely tucked inside your heart take care sending you warm hugs and much love from us all xxxx
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Hi @Jenna I’m sorry for the loss of your sons my heart goes out to you and everyone here I think this chat would be helpful to you and I hope this ok also guys? Xxx
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Dear Kath, you have come to the right place. We lost our younger daughter at 31 2 and a half years ago. She did have an unusualung co condition but was the picture of health.
They went on holiday to Majorca and picked up a virus. The doctors said the only thing they could find was the common cold virus but she ended up on ECMO, a very advanced form of life support. It oxygenises the blood so she could communicate with a quiet voice and was bright and determined to get better. Unfortunately 54 days o the machine she got a blood infection and there was nothing that could be done.
It’s horrific to think back. It knocks me sick to be honest.
You will be feeling very confused, in shock and disbelief.
Like you are walking about in nightmare. Which it is.
My heart goes out to you dear friend. We have all had the worst thing possible happen to us.
Keep posting . Say anything you need to. So much we can’t say to our loved ones as we don’t want to see them hurting so much too.
Sending love.
Kate xx
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Thankyou so much everyone for your kind words. At the moment nothing anyone says gives me comfort. But i will visit this site often ,because i am sure in time it will help.
Love to each one of you
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Hello Kath,
I bet you’re confused, 1 week, my God and yes you are in shock, as Mattsmom said we have all walked in your shoes. We are all at different stages on this dreadful path but like Kate said you have come to the right place. We all support each other, please keep posting you will find it of some comfort to talk with people who know exactly how you are feeling.
With love
Helen
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Dear Kath, nothing will make sense unless the person giving advice has walked our path. People mean we’ll but they don’t understand. The best thing our friends did was just to feed us, sit with us and just being there with us in case we needed anything. Mostly they just cried with us and hugged us.
Much love,
Kate
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Oh Kath , I am so sorry to hear about your precious Daughter. and only a week ago . You must be going through hell . I can remember totally falling to pieces for months after losing Dawn , like you did not exspect her to go . When the doctors gave her 2 days to live and that’s all she did have , we not believe it , as she had been ill with a few problems over the years and she always pulled through, she was a strong person . But her poor body had just had enough. . You will find some good friends on this site , everyone of us , at different stages , . But no matter how long since we have lost our precious Daughters and Sons, we are all still struggling, and they have left us with a gapping hole in our hearts . Strangers make out they understand how will feel , but don’t have a clue . . Take care and keep posting With love Maddie xxx
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Hi Donna. Being able to talk freely to people that truly understands is the best medicine of all and that’s what this site is about, never be afraid to say how you feel has everyone as a different heart breaking story to tell and how we are all struggling to get through it.
With love Marina xxx
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Hi Kath,I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your precious daughter, it’s such early days for you it will all seems so surreal like living through a nightmare but this is one place where we all truly understand just how you are feeling. Hopefully in time you will keep posting until then…Take care ,thinking of you Marina xxx
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Hello
Im finding this just to much i want my sam back it just hurts to much last couple days dont even want to get out of bed it dont seem right this time last year sam was here .and we found out he was terminal .its like it was a dream i want to wake up and it not be true .zoe x
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hello Zoe,
I know exactly where you are coming from, not wanting to get out of bed not wanting to do anything just wishig to turn back the clock. It is heartbreaking, frightening , draining and a terrible feeling of hopelessnesss. Do you think Sam would want you to feel like that…the answer is no he would expect you to get on, he is all around you Zoe, talk out loud to him and listen to that inner voice that is him. This is for you…
As I sit in Heaven and I watch you everyday
I try to let you know with signs that I never went away
I hear you when your laughing and watch you as you sleep
I even place my arm around you to calm you when you weep
I see you wish the days away begging to have me home
So I try to send you signs so you know you’re not alone
Heaven is truly beautiful, just you wait and see so live your life, laugh again, enjoy yourself be free, then I know with every breath you take you`ll be taking one for me
All my love Helen
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Hi Zoe I am the same, we lost our boys around the same time and I expected it to be bad , but not that it would get even worse. I keep having flashbacks now as well , of when I was trying to do CPR on my son and all the chaos that went with it and running in and out of the house frantically looking for the ambulance that was taking too long to arrive . I gave in and phoned my doctor today and she gave me diazepam but I know that’s not the answer. There is no answer, no way out. It’s not a bad dream it’s real and I can’t cope anymore. We must Just try and get through another day and another day and another. Hugs jss xx
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