Dearest Maddie, our hearts are broken. How could they not be when we have lost our children?
I think the sadness is always with us, bubbling under the surface and when we face another sad situation it all comes up to the surface again, because we identify so strongly with other bereaved parents and I think it brings it all back to us. I hope you have a better day 
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Wynne
So sorry for your loss. I was exactly the same when my daughter died. I couldnāt face people and used to shop out of town so i didnāt see anyone i knew. Itās nearly 7 years for me and I still struggle with birthdays anniversaries etc but you are in the early days still and suffering from shock. It takes a long time to sink in
Liz xx
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Thankyou , Act1, and Victoria , for your kind words . Itās awfu that we are all struggling so much . But good we have got one another on the lovely site . Take care everyone Maddie x x
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Hello everyone, after just over 5 months Iām back in work ( Iām a postie) I found it very strange with everyone coming up to me asking how I was . I just said I was ok , none of them will ever know how I really feel, only parents that have lost a child will ever know the pain and sorrow we feel every day. My only son passed away from a brain tumour, he was 36 , I still canāt believe I will not ever see him again . Hopefully in time the pain will ease . Reading all the posts on here does help me a lot, because I know we are all suffering. But I think together we can bond and try and ease some of the suffering. All my love, Pete.
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Pete, good to hear from you. Yes, this group is a cosy blanket around our shoulders. A well worn one, passed on from one of us to the next. It gives us strength from those of us who have worn it before.
Take care. Sending love.
Kate xx
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Hi everyone .well done pete for going back to work .i cant imagine how hard that is . Because no one gets it like you say.thats such a big step ā¦
I have been very down .still reading all your posts but struggling . I think the first year everything is a date .my little grandson was 6 today .happy and sad . This time last year sam made it round there one of his last outings . He bought the three grandchildren big presents .it was his way of saying goodbye . It breaks my heart cant believe its nearly a year . On april 27th .
Jess my daughter is 30 on the 20th we going to have a party . But with no sam it breaks my heart . He should be here .its so wicked my mind going through the days of last year him getting weaker by the day so awful .this life so cruel .i just want him here . Want a sam hug xxx
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Hi Pete, itās a cruel world, for when you lose a child your world collapses and yet we still have to try and live life as normal as we can, even though itās with a broken heart.
Well done for going back to work, hope it all goes well for you.
With love, Marina.xxx
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Hi everyone, today is Joās 40th birthday, the 7th one without her. The loss feels massive, the sadness is so painful and our hearts are shattered. I have placed a birthday memorial in our local evening paper and I am sending messages and poems to her friends further afield to ask them to raise a glass and light a candle. It will be a little bit of comfort for as many as possible to remember Jo today.
Love to you all,
Chris x
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Dear Pete, well done for going back to work and I hope you are managing okay. I was off work for 9 months after losing Gemma and for me going back k to work was largely about feeling normal again and living a ānormalā life, if that is ever possible.
Losing a child changed us in so many ways.
Big hugs to you my friend xxx
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Hello Bir, thinking of you today on Joes 40th birthday . Hope you have your friends and family to get you through a very difficult day . Sending love Maddie xxc
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Hi Chris, these anniversaries are so difficult especially when it is such a prominent one as a 40th Birthday. My thoughts today will be with you and your family especially Izzy for it must be extremely emotional for one to lose her Mummy at such a young age.(bless her).
I will raise a glass and light a candle for Jo tonight and wish her Happy 40th Birthday .
With love to you and familyā¦Marina xxx
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I have already lit a candle for Jo, my Katherine and all the other beautiful souls we remember here.
Much love to all 
Ann x
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Hi to everyone
Happy birthday to jo .sorry chris birthdays are so hard all datesā¦ .this furst year is a nightmare my head full of dates .my beautiful daughter is going to be 30 april 20 .th and poor sam should be here . Sam passed april 27th .he was just 25 .im so angry so hurt keep reliving the days of last year watching him go downhill so fast just a wicked bloody world ā¦sorry just feel so sad love zoe xxx
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I am having supper with my brothers this evening and will raise a glass to all our beautiful children x
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Hello Everyone,
First well done Pete for returning to work a good move for you to try to cope. Maddie it is so hard to try and give support and comfort when you yourself are still grieving. It was my birthday yesterday and I put Samās card out from when I was 60. When I saw Marcus the medium he said Sam is saying look inside that last card he gave you, the words are different. In every other card I have from himwhether Mothers Day or birthday it says āthanks for all you do, love Samā. This one says with all my love always, so looking back I know he knew he was losing the battle. The day before my birthday we were out in the garden and a robin flew down from the tree and landed right on my knee I could not believe it still shocked now but knew it was Sam.
I found this for all of us in this club, if that the right expression although I prefer yourās Kate a well worn blanket.
YOU DONāT JUST LOSE SOMEONE ONCE
You lose them over and over,
sometimes in the same day.
When the loss, momentarily forgotten,
creeps up,
and attacks you from behind.
Fresh waves of grief as the realisation hits home,
they are gone.
Again.
You donāt just lose someone once,
you lose them every time you open your eyes to a new dawn,
and as you awaken,
so does your memory,
so does the jolting bolt of lightning that rips into your heart,
they are gone.
Again.
Losing someone is a journey,
not a one-off.
There is no end to the loss,
there is only a learned skill on how to stay afloat,
when it washes over.
Be kind to those who are sailing this stormy sea,
they have a journey ahead of them,
and a daily shock to the system each time they realise,
they are gone,
Again.
You donāt just lose someone once,
you lose them every day,
for a lifetime.
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Happy belated birthday to you Helen , that had to be SM wishing you a happy birthday . What a lovely feeling that must have been . I find that robins turn up when I have just asked Dawn for a sign . Such a comfort . Yes when I wake every morning itās still hard to digest that Dawn is no longer here , so yes we have to get through another day , knowing we will not see them again untill it is our turn to join them love Maddie xx
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I had a robin this morning on the mat inside the back porch, looking through the glass door to come into the kitchen. Not Katherineās birthday, one week after. It was a delight to see.
Ann x
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Those words resonate so much. Thank you.
Pete, weāll done getting back to workā¦routine helps I thinkā¦.but that awkwardness that we feel (if thatās the right word) because no one understands unless theyāve suffered the loss we have, is a challenge.
It makes me feel different from other people.
As to the blanket - yes without this group Iād be sunk. I have my stepchildren coming for the day- Iām so looking forward to seeing them but I so wish my own boy could be here too.
To stop myself falling, Iām grateful that my grandson is here too bringing joy to my heart.
Send you all love.
Purple x
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Hello Dear friends,
I too am so grateful to have the support from this site, I read all the lovely articles that are shared and really find strength from being part of this lovely group today is our twin daughters 22nd birthday, another anniversary without Matt, he was such a brilliant big brother to them both, we are also off to Nottingham Wednesday for isabels graduation ceremony , I know Matt will be with us as he was so proud of his sisters he will always be by their sides watching over them,
Itās a beautiful day and I hope you all find a little sunshine today whatever you are doing, sending love to all,
Michelle xxx
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Hi all really struggling .its just to hard. Dont want to get out of bed .this empty hole is awful .i feel so lost so sad love zoe x
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