Thankyou Purple , yes grief can eat you away . , if we let it happen . I am hoping to feel a bit better if I can get away for a few days . Take care Maddie xx
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Oh sue i know how your feeling . . Big hugs xx
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Dear Maddie
Thatās a great ideaā¦a change of scene will be so uplifting.
Hope you find some peace and fulfilment. 
Love Purple x
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Dearest Maddie, you have been so brave for so long. We all go through difficult patches and thank goodness we have each other. Like Purple said, I hope your holiday helps and I am so looking forward to lunch together next week.
I think we all find comfort in different ways but mainly through our family and friends and I donāt where I would be without mine. Much love
Purple
You are so right grief is a thief and it consumes us but yes we must try for our other family .my beautiful daughter is lost without sam .who spent everyday with her and the children .my little grandchildren talk about sam everyminute .have to try be strong . Purple you are an inspiration.you try so hard to be positive sending you a big hug .xxx Henry would be very proudā¤
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Thank you Purple and Kate for your inspiring posts.
Itās good to be reminded that there are other people in our lives beyond the bubble of us and our lost loved one.
Our other children, if we are lucky enough to have them, also need our love. They too are grieving. Our grandchildren, our partners.
When Iām sad and missing Katherine a lot I try consciously to send her love, and focus on her, not on me, but youāve reminded me to send the love to others who need it too.
Thank you.
Ann xx
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Hi all. Reading through these last posts. Totally agree. Grief can definitely eat away at you. It changes your whole personality. I think for at least the first 2 or 3 years itās akin to being in a prison cell. You donāt have a choice. Itās all consuming. It tells you how to think. It dictates wether you eat or sleep. You forget how to laugh or smile. You canāt have a conversation with anyone as nobody can say anything remotely interesting to you that for just 5 mins you may forget your grief. The thought of getting out of bed in the morning is completely soul destroying. Because you know the day is just filled with nothingness. But all those baby steps that you make. Like getting dressed in the morning when you donāt see the point. Venturing outside when itās the last thing you want to do. Basically just facing up to doing anything that you used to do before. When what you really want to do is get drunk go to bed and never wake up. But you force yourself because you have to. Eventually you will get stronger. You donāt ever get over your loss. But you can get ontop of the grief. You can beat that ba####d. Yes you will have long bouts of depression. But slowly over time you can begin to function again. I donāt think I will ever be normal again. Iāve been through to much trauma. But there is light at the end of the tunnel. The sun does come through again and you can start to see a way out of that hole you are in. You donāt notice it at first. Itās only when you stop and look back. You . Realize that you managed to do all those mundane chores that need doing without to much effort. Or you went for a night out or you took that holiday. You are always going to miss your child. Itās always lurking about like a big hairy monster in the darkā¦ but if you stand up to it. You can get a little bit of yourself back.
Quick question while Iām on. Can I have your honest opinion. My ex wife ( sonās biological mother). Got remarried a couple of years ago. But sheās recently had a painting done with our son drawn into her wedding photo. Thoughts plz.
Jim
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Oh gosh Jim.
I think it depends on her attitude.
Heās her son, and if she finds comfort in having him in her picture I think she has the right.
But it depends on how she displays the pic. I wouldnāt want it displayed to the world, it would be just for me, kept private.
I suppose thereās no right or wrong.
Does it upset you?
Ann
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I saw the pic for the first time today. Iām ok with whatever people need to do to help themselves. God knows we need it. I personally found it a bit creepy
Hi Jim, I have to say Iām with Ann on this one, it may seem weird but if it brings your ex wife some comfort and itās not doing any harm to anyone I canāt see any wrong in it.
Itās amazing some of the things we do to help us find some form of comfort. Marina xxx
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Hi Jim, I also think if it gives her some comfort itās okay. We are all so individual. But personally I get how you find it a little creepy xxx
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Hi Jim,
I can see how you find it a little strange, but I agree that if this helps her on her journey then thatās a good thing,
At our daughters graduation recently we held a photo of Matt as we wanted him to be part of this special day aa he was so proud of his sisterās, we know he was with us but our family photo would not have been complete without him on it. I am sure some onlookers may have found this strange but whatever gets us through is what itās about 
Michelle xxx
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Dear Friends,
I thank you for sharing all your thoughts and your positivity, it really helps me personally on my journey, your strength rubs off on me and helps me to keep going, I really try for my daughters and husband as I love them dearly but I do feel such emptiness inside it consumes my every waking hour, when I hear about your beautiful grandchildren it lifts me I said to my husband that one day it will be so lovely to have grandchildren , my girls are not at the right time of their lives yet but this gives me hope that there are better days ahead, Iām reliving this time 3 years ago as we approach the 5th the date our precious Matt was taken much love to all Michelle xxxx
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Oh Michelle, the memories are haunting and the lead up to our childrenās last day is horrendous. Will be thinking of you and your family on Thursday. Its so hard.
Sending love and hugs.
Kate xxx
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Will be thinking of you Michelle and your family on Matts anniversary. Take care Maddie xxx
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Dear Michelle, What a lovely thing to have Mattās photo at your daughters graduation, it would not have been right to not have him at family gathering, especially at his little sisterās graduation, he would have been so proud of herā¦Some people may think we are mad in some of the things we do, but we are only doing our best to keep their memory alive so they are remembered by everyone. With love Marina xxx
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Hi michelle
Be thinking of you tomorrow and your lovely family. Will light a candle next to sams .for your lovely matt sending you love
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Hi jss i think of you often .you dont seem to post much now .im thinking if you at this time .i know its a hard one anniversaries. The first one makes it very real sending you big hugs jss love zoe
I love this x
Hi. Itās me. I just wanted to drop you a line to let you know Iām okay.
And yes its really me.
The strangest part about my passing is I donāt feel gone from you. I do hear you talk to me, and most of the time Iām just trying to get you to feel my presence. I also smile when you keep asking me for signs that you ask me to send to you.
I promise they will come when you least expect it. I really do try really hard to send to you.
Please stop saying you canāt feel me. When I see you laugh, it vibrates through my being and I smile too. Feelings like guilt, anger, regret, and immense sadness sometimes build a barrier between us. Everyone grieves differently however, my hope is that the signs I send help take the edge off, even for a quick moment. So please donāt be sad .
I would love for you to try harder to let go of those heavy layers that put the weight of the world on your shoulders. I might actually be able to come to you more easily. Finding the balance between āfeeling it to heal itā and being stuck in it is a fine line. I honor how you grieve. Always
No, you couldnāt have saved me. No, you shouldnāt have done more. Yes, you made the right decision. I realize now that this earthly experience is all about finding our way back to love. All the rest is just part of the tough journey we call, āLife.ā Thank you for letting me be your teacher. Until we meet again, promise me that you will love with all your heart, forgive in ways you thought not possible, release anger that no longer serves you, and slide into home plate saying, āI did it! I lived for you. I honor your memory by finding joy again.ā
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Dear Michelle, Just to let you know that I will be thinking of you tomorrow. I know you think of Matt every day but especially tomorrow. Sending you a big hug and lots of love
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