Oh victoria
That made me cry . Thats brilliant .im not going to question signs anymore
Love it thank you for sharing 
1 Like
Where did you find that victoria xx
1 Like
Oh Victoria , such lovely words , that is the words we all need to hear , that our beautiful children are looking down and are close by . And they know how much we love and miss them. And they donāt want us to be sad .which is very hard not to be . , but they want us to carry on , and enjoy our lives , untill we meet them again . Which I pretty sure we will . .Sending love to all Maddie xxx
2 Likes
Hi Zoe, it is from a log that I read on Facebook. Her name is
Emily Graham, Grief and Life Coach. The strange thing is that as I was reading it, I have a cushion with a silver star hanging from it. The star started swinging completely on its own so I hope it is a sign from Gemma I managed to get a video of it.
I hope you are okay xxx
Sending love and strength to you today. Hope you are coping as well as you can. Itās the worst time.
Kate xxx
2 Likes
Thank you Zoe , yes itās a year now my Ray has gone and itās very hard, it just seems to get worse so no I am not posting much as I feel so broken , but I am still reading the posts of others and I always think of you to. I am on a waiting list for a private therapist now as NHS is taking so long and my anxiety is so bad ,but what can they do anyway? There seems no way out of this shattered world we are in now. If only we knew what life was going to throw at us maybe we could be prepared for it. Sending love Jss xxx
3 Likes
Yes Victoria P post made me cry so much to . Xxx
2 Likes
Brilliant oh so brilliant 
Thank you Victoria for sharing something positive to give us strength.
Sending you love and a hug
Purple x
3 Likes
Dear Friends,
Thank you all for your kind words and for thinking of me,
It was a lovely sunny day and we all met at Matts grave and shared a toast to our precious boy it was lovely having his friends with us as they were all so close like brothers, 2 of them had left the army but still took time from their new jobs to be there which really moved me, they all came back to the house and we sat sharing funny stories about Matt, I was dreading it as you know but I can honestly say it was a lovely day and Matt would have been there with us for sure,
As we were leaving to go to the cemetery I went back inside to turn the radio up for the dog which I know is a bit crazy! just as I touched the control Mattās song came on that we played at his funeral, we couldnāt believe it, some would say coincidence but we all know different
Sending much love to you all Michelle xxxx
4 Likes
I feel your pain, I lost my son when he was 22, that was 11 yrs ago and itās still as raw now . I have 2 other children that keep me going, but if I didnāt have them who knows where I would be. Take care xxx
1 Like
We certainly do Michelle, Im glad the day was better than you expected it to be. That was most certainly Matt, he will get signs to you in any way that he can. What Victoria posted was right they are still around us just behind a frosted glass panel they can see us but we cannot see them, so they try to tell us with signs.
I know when Sam is around he moves the shells on the bathroom windowsill and they have been moving the last few days as Iāve been down.
Love to you allHelen
4 Likes
So glad you had a good day with family and friends of Mattās around you. That was definitely a sign from your precious boy. As I have shared with you all, those terrible days after losing Lisa, the theme from Keeping Faith kept coming on my car radio nearly every time I got in and switched the engine on. Lisa loved that series and I know she was reaching out to me in my darkest hours.
Keep positive and remember the happy times, itās the only way we can cope.
Much love dear friend.
Kate xx
4 Likes
Dear Michelle, I have been thinking of you and am so glad the day went well and you were surrounded by such loving friends and family. They carry us through these hard days. Like Kate, I am sure that Matt was with you. When we planned Gemmaās service, there was a song that I wanted but we did not include it. The first time I got in my car afterwards ( to go to her house), as I turned on the car radio it started to play. As you said, these are not coincidences. Much love to you all 
3 Likes
Hi Zoe itās another nice day but I canāt enjoy them anymore . I just think my Boy Ray would be out in this . He was very tall and athletic looked after himself , always out running or at the gym. How can he just suddenly go like that. A year without our boys for us both now and there is still no sense to it . I still have that very physical pain around my heart when I think of him and we never stop thinking of them do we . I donāt know how we manage to put one foot in front of the other but we do. This new normal I just canāt get used to , not in anyway . 
sending love Jess xxxx
1 Like
Hi jss i know my lovely .it dosnt register properly . Apart of you is waiting .but you dont know what your waiting for .its a emptyness a pain . It has to get better jss .look at the ladys on here .all at different stages and no one thinks the same .i had 3 sessions councilling wasnt for me .my partner has councilling he thinks its good .your Ray would hate you to be so sad and my sam would be cross .we have yo try for the sake of family and our own well being . Sending you so much love xx love zoe xx
2 Likes
Hello Zoe and JSS,
Iām 5 years down the road now and there are still times when it will overwhelm me but I try because like your son
Sam Zoe my Sam would be so cross with me so I try to think of all the things he did in his life. As the years gather pace you never get over it you will grieve for the rest of your life but the hurt you learn to cope with as it runs alongside you, and you accept inside yourself that this is the new me now. I sat talking with Samās picture this morning telling him everything, I have a candle pink (his favourite colour) that I light each night and each week I buy roses for him either pink, yellow or orange because he loved bright colours.
Some people would say āoh for goodness sakeā but I donāt care itās my way of coping.
Take care you two, it is a hard road we travel but through the years you learn how to cope with it.
Love to you both
Helen
3 Likes
Thank you Helen for giving us hope that we will learn to live with this heartbreak.
I know itās still very early days for a lot of us. I know Andrew would want me to be happy with lifeā¦not easy at the moment of course.
Iāve just been round to see my 91 year old mother. To be fair she didnāt see Andrew all that much and so sheās coping with it all so well compared to meā¦in fact I get the feeling she thinks Iām āputting it onā a bit.
I went to see my sister a couple of days ago and my niece, her daughter, was there. Sheās only in her 20s expecting her first baby but she was full of wonderful words of wisdom to help me. Obviously completely oblivious to the fact that my heart had been torn out, my son is dead and Iāll never , ever, ever see him again. But I smiled and pretended to listen and horribly thoughtā¦if this ever happens to you I hope you remember all your own advice.
For now I cope by having 2 large gins followed by a large Horlicks in the evening which seems to help me sleep. I listen to the voice of someone doing watercolour painting lessons on YouTube all night which helps my brain switch off until I do sleep and for all the times I wake up.
Getting through each day is an achievement and nothing will ever ease my heartache but to be this sad this empty for years to come would be unbearable.
So thank you again for that small hope that in time I will learn to live with it.
Sue xxxxx
4 Likes
Thank you Helen your so lovely .i look forward to your posts .a big hug to you .i light a candle and i play sams song over and over giant by rag qnd bone man ā¦i love flowers so sam gets red ones for arsenal he has a tearshaped urn. But it dosnt look like one more of an ornament red too ā¦
Sue your getting out of bed getting dressed thats amazing be proud .andrew is all around you big hugs zoe xxx
5 Likes
My love, it just hurts more than anyone who hasnāt walked in our shoes can ever imagine. The pain grips us and it spreads to every part of our bodies.
To be honest, we here are the only friends who truly understand how bad it feels and there is nothing, absolutely nothing, anyone else can say that comes close to understanding our pain.
Take care dear soul. We are all here.
With love, Kate xx
4 Likes
Hello Sue
I too have a drink especially when I am preparing the dinner, and it is then that I talk out loud to Sam tell him about the day. You will find your path, your way of coping, I like you have an elderly mother she is now 87 and when three weeks after Sam had passed and I was crying, she said I shanāt bother coming down if youāre going to keep crying. 18 months to the day later (Sam was 9th December 2016, and Roy her husband died 9th June 2018). Myself and John stayed by his bedside all through the night. I knew Sam was there to take him he was in a coma but he pulled his arm out from under the covers and stretched it out as far as possible, he died a few hours later. my mother turned to me the next day and said losing a husband is so much worse than losing a son!
John my husband has been my rock all the way through and absolutely loved Sam (even though he wasnāt Samās dad) my eldest Geraint said to John at the funeral Sam thinks more of you than he does of his own dad.
I am absolutely sure that I will see Sam again as you will Andrew. Andrew will be all around you look for signs (coincidences they say) which they are not, he will be trying very hard to let you know that he is OK. Yes some old people can be very selfish and that is probably why your mother thinks like mine āyouāre putting it onā,
Take care Sue, this is the hardest road we are travelling and no one can give you advice unless they have walked in your shoes.
Love Helen
5 Likes