How amazing Kate. Lisa’s way of saying “hello” to you.
I’d love a little message from Andrew.
I did dream about him the other night.
In my dream he told me he’d just paid for his honeymoon. “What honeymoon…and who are you marrying?” I asked. “Tim…of course” he joked…typical Andrew style. Then he told me the name of his future wife who I had heard of…even though in life he wasn’t actually seeing her.
But…I kept thinking…something is wrong, why am I so worried. Then I remembered…he can’t have a honeymoon, he can’t get married…he’s dead!!
Then I woke up and sobbed!!
It’s so sad…so cruel 
.
Love to all Sue xxxx
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I really hope the signs are true .i do believe it .i would love to dream of sam .my daughter jess has and the dreams were so real .he was saying please dont eorry jess im ok .its all ok . Xx
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To all the lovely people here…
I thought today that the pain we share, we share for the love we still have inside. Here we are connected by the loss of our children which we can’t change, don’t agree with but have to accept. However we got here…we’re here.
Our children, wonderful gifts they were, are waiting for us. I just know they are. My Mum is at end of life…I spoke with her earlier and I said if you see Henry, Dad or Mac (her brother) it’s your time…she said “I wish they’d hurry up”
God bless her 
We’re passing through this life and we want it to play in a certain order…but it plays to its own tune. Let’s not fight it…but agree to a truce.
I miss Henry every day …his humour, his enthusiasm, the warmth he had…my Mum’s about to join him…he loved her so much…I’m glad for them they will be reunited 
what a party they will all have 
I’ll be joining them one day.
Until then, this life has so many adventures to be had. Let’s live this life for the departed. If we ever feel we’ve let them down, we will if we don’t grab every opportunity, knowing that’s what we would want for them… if the boot as on the other foot.
Love to you all
Purple x
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Great post, Purple.
I’m so keen to talk about gratitude that Katherine came into MY life, not anyone else’s, how we share just the same love even though we can’t physically see each other and that will never change, how we have wonderful memories.
Yet I feel I’ve let it slip recently, and I’m not honouring her memory as I intended.
Thank you for reminding me what she would be telling me.
Love Ann
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Dear Ann
It’s so easy to forget we’re fortunate to have had our children…and for perhaps longer than others had theirs…
Grief consumes so much 
Talking to my Mum has reminded me of that. I’m scheduled to see her on Tuesday…I asked her if she’d like me to see her earlier and she said no.
She’s desperate to die…how infuriating that she’s in that position and yet I lost my son , who as far as I know, wasn’t ready to go. Yet as you say, we had them and yes. I’m forever grateful.
Sending you lots of love Ann
Big hugs xx
Purple
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Thank you Purple.
Yes, we must live to honour our children, who came to be with us for as long as they could, until we go to join them, as I’m sure we will.
Much love,
Ann
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Great post purple .i know my sam would be saying come on mum . One life and all that . He loved everyday . I lost my mum three years ago . And sam past on her birthday did she come and get him .jess lost baby Elsie .is sam now with her .because here he was the greatest uncle ever . Had him for such a short while but the best time and the best son ever my superhero .xxx much love purple 
much love Ann
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Dear Purple, So beautifully written and thank you for reminding us that we should be honouring our children. And although we can’t see them, I am sure they are not very far away. I found in the early days that it helped me to talk to Gemma and I still do that and it somehow helps me to feel closer to her.
Ann, I think we all let it slip at times. I know I do but it’s not always easy and we all do the best we can.
Much love to you xxx
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Sams listenig the lloyds advert came on the black horse he loved it .and now they play his song which we played at his funeral i am a giant very strange but very comforting xx
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Just heard it Zoe and thought of you and Sam xxxxx
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Yes Purple,
I totally agree. Andrew would want me to make the most of my life as I would have wanted him to if I’d been the one to go first. He’d be telling me to get out in the fields and find that pot of gold!
The only thing is …if I did find a pot of gold…I would want him there with me to hug me and say " wow…brilliant mum!!". Then we’d laugh and do the “gold dance” together. I just don’t know when I’ll feel brave enough to go detecting again without him.
It’s so hard isn’t it? It’s because we loved them SO MUCH!!
AND yes…I’m so glad he was my son and part of my life for over 38 years. In fact maybe that’s why he never moved away and although he lived with a couple of girlfriends for some of his adult life…maybe I was extra lucky that I was such a big part of his life for so much of it. It’s because fate had planned to take him away from us too early in his life.
I had more precious time and shared more laughter with him than some mothers ever get to share with their children.
Just miss him so much.
Love to all…Sue xxxxx
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Dear Sue
It’s bittersweet isn’t it?
You shared so much precious time with Andrew, wonderful times that nothing can take away, but that means there’s so much more to miss.
You already found the pot of gold in your lovely boy. You’ll have to save the dance till you meet again.
Much love, Ann xx
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Oh yes Ann…he was my treasure!! We had some tough times years ago…before he had the chance to sort his life out and enjoy it as it should be enjoyed. But looking back I realise that’s why we were so close…we thought those dark days were well and truly over. I’m so glad he had all these lovely days with us for the past 4 years. I’m grateful that we didn’t lose him when he was struggling through his dark days…so glad he enjoyed all those sunny days with us and Ash.
How has your day been Ann??
Love Sue xxxxx
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Its bringing me so much comfort reading through peoples journeys and I hope no one takes offence to that as I mean it in a loving way. To know that although our children may no longer physically be here with us each and everyone of us still include them in everything we do. I know when Shona was born I was blessed with an angel on earth. She hasn’t got a bad bone in her body l, she has the kindest of hearts.
I’ve always felt like I need to be with her as her mum I need to be there with her to take care of her. That my other children will be ok as they can have their dad to take care of them and I will be with Shona so none of them are alone. But some how and I truly believe it was Shona that kept telling me to fight through these feelings. Then Exactly a year to the day my cousin one of my closest friends passed away, now you may or may not believe me but I knew it was going to happen on the same day. Something was telling me that I no longer needed to worry about Shona being alone as Lara was going to be with her to take care of her for me and now they are together taking care of one another until it’s my turn to be there for them both. I can’t wait to wrap my arms around my daughter again. I know we feel so much pain when we lose a loved one but I also now get comfort in knowing that as more pass away Shona is being surrounded by her family and friends, as sadly a few of her friends have also passed. One before and 2 after but they are most definitely up there having a good ole party
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So glad you are getting comfort from the friends on this site.
Some have been here several years, Sue and I, and Kath and Nell, only a few weeks or months, but we really do care for each other, as you can tell from the posts.
Love and hugs 🫂
Ann xx
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Bless you sue sounds like you had a wonderful relationship
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Yes Ann i would not get through without the love of this site . Strengh and kindness comes from you all .we are in the same boat on this rollercoaster . I thank you all so much hugs to you all much love zoe xx
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Hi Sue,
Yes it’s lovely that Andrew came through the dark times into truly happy ones, they are the memories for you to treasure.
My other daughter has just had her birthday. I didn’t see her, she lives away and was actually on holiday with her partner. I think she was glad to be away. She was missing her sister, who did live in my town, missing being able to talk to her, and if she had come over for the birthday Katherine’s absence would have upset her.
It’s strange, family dynamics, Kath is my middle child, and her brother (eldest) and sister (youngest) have always been much closer to each other, but both are realising just how very much they are missing Kath.
I’ve been feeling a bit numb again this week. Which is less painful than feeling raw. So I have to go and talk to my special smiley photo of Katherine to tell her I’m ok.
But thank you Sue, I’ve had a good day today in the sunshine. And satisfactorily taken a pile of books to Oxfam!
Hope you are ok, much love Ann
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And love to you too Zoe, and your lovely family.
Take care
Ann xx
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Ann i know this is a bit wierd what im going to say but number 9 is my number good and bad .and when my mum was dying jess said she wont go till tomorrow mum because she will wait till the 9th and that was the 9th march .and she passed on the same day and month as her mum crazy .i found out sam was a heart baby on the 9th . Breast cancer 9th not all bad thing though good as well so number 9 is my number .you dont reliaze how amazing you are sending you love
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