Hi Deborah
Absolutely agree that it feels now that we are hanging on for others esp our other children.
I really do try to find little moments of enjoyment although happiness is now gone.
I went to a local music festival and on holiday to Malta but tears are never far away and despite having the loveliest friends I feel alone on my grief.
I honestly believe finding this site saved me, gave me some hope that it wouldn’t always be so raw.
Anne x
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Dear Anne, it won’t always be so raw. I found that after a year or so a kind of peace slowly descended. I still get tearful and have bad days but my husband, my children and my grandchildren are worth living for.
I also realised that I did not want my grandchildren to grow up in an aura of sadness … they deserve a childhood that is as happy as we can make it.
You are so brave and doing so well. Sending you huge hugs xxx
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Hi Anne
Thank you. To be honest I’m not that religious but my family are, I’m more spiritual as was my daughter. I do believe that our children are somewhere watching over us and I have been given proof by a medium that I see regularly that i will see her again one day. I too have been trying to keep busy so that I get some respite from the awful pain that is there day and night. I miss her so much.
Sending love and hugs
Deborah x
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Thank you to Victoria for making the point that she does not want her grandchildren to grow up in an aura of sadness.
My whole family is grieving the loss of my son, especially his wife and children. My other children are also deeply sad, which must affect their children too. They have lost a fun and loving uncle. We do try to spend time together, and in the future we hope we hope to make new happy memories.
It’s still very raw for us - my son died 4 months ago now. The weeks leading up to his death were desperately sad too, as he became increasingly ill. He was so brave.
Well, good night to you all. I’m grateful for the kind words and understanding that I find on this site. Nobody wants to be going through this. It still seems unreal. Bless you all x
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Dear Anne,
It’s so nice to hear from you, I have to have something in my mind constantly, distractions are the only way to cope, my daughters are my biggest distraction, as I know your son Ewan is yours, you have done so well Anne and Scott would so proud of you 
x
I hope your little dog Ruby is well,
Sending much love
Michelle xxx
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Dear Victoria,
Your posts are always so inspiring, you are so brave and Gemma would be so proud of you for not letting her precious boys grow up in an aura of sadness, take care my friend.
Much love Michelle xxx
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Dear Susan,
You are doing so well, its such early days and you are trying to think of everyone in your family and even others on this site 
keep posting as we are all here for you and don’t forget to be kind to yourself too.
Sending you love and gentle hugs.
Michelle xxx
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Many thanks.
Here we go again - another day.
One foot in front of the other, holding our lost children in our hearts.
Keep cool everyone xxx
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That’s exactly what it is like, one weary foot in front of another weary foot. Let’s hope that we are all moving towards brighter days where we can smile again . love to all xx
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Dear friends. Beautiful weather again and as the school holidays in Scotland draw to an end I can reflect on the lovely times we have had with Brooke. Yesterday we spent most of the day at the beach. Brooke was so happy. I have so many memories of the same beach with Jemma and Lisa and taking Brooke to the beach with Lisa in 2018. Happy memories all of them.
You are so right Victoria, surrounding our grandchildren with love and happiness is definitely a positive way to nurture them.
Lots of love to you all.
Kate x
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Beautiful photo Kate. I’m glad the sunshine and blue skies are helping you feel more positive. I agree with Victoria too…although I don’t have any grandchildren I still want my 91 year old mother to be as happy as possible for her last years. It’s hard I know but we all only have one life and we need to fill it with as many happy times as we’re able to.
Love and hugs to all Sue xxxx
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Dear friends. I don’t know why it popped into my head whilst dog walking but I remember seeing a book at a friends house by Kate Adie the war journalist. The title is The Kindness of Strangers. It struck me how true this is.
None of us expected to be joining this site but we have and we have shared our deepest most disturbing thoughts opened our hearts to each other. In return we have received such kindness and understanding from each other. We are not judged in a ny way. Only we know how bad this feels but the kindness of strangers has made it a path we are not walking on our own.
Love to you all.
Kate xx
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Love to you too Kate and everyone who shares or just reads the posts. We are definitely stronger together. Hugs xxx
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Beautify put Kate, you explain it so well, amazing how many new friendships I’ve made on this journey, especially all of you lovely people on this site
Much love to you all
Michelle xxx
PS lovely photo of Brooke
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Hi everyone been reading all your posts .so grateful i have you all . Im sad and empty everyday i want my boy back .he had no life so young but so brave . The mad thing sam never cried once in the four months he was ill . He had a bravery ive never seen in a 24 year old.i hope uou know sam how proud i am of you … i also have to be strong for my family we have been through so much in the last few years we deserve some happy .love and a big hug to you all love zoe
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My family dont know if ive said i have two step children to .there in there 40.a girl and a boy . So although i have jess and her three children . I also have 5 other grandchildren i met stefan and lauren when they was 7 and 8 . We are a close family . But i feel they wasnt around for there dad when we lost sam . Grief causes so much pain xx
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Hi all. Went to Blackpool yesterday. Weather was red hot. It was busy. Had a walk about, then sat at the sea front people watching 100s of people Jumping about in the sea , sunbathing, kids charging about , screaming having a great time in the water. Suddenly a young lad walked past,. Looked nothing like my son he was about 10/12 years of age,. (Sam was 24 when he died). Of all the 100s of people milling about this one lad caught my eye and set me off. My eyes glassed over. Think it was his baseball cap that did it. Took me rite back to when Sam was a little lad. Got choked up for a minute or so and then it passed. Grief!!! It follows you about and can jump you at anytime even when you least expect it. It doesn’t care,. It’s not bothered if you are having a good time. Every so often it likes to just poke you just to let you know it’s still there. You can never tell when it will jump you. As I sat on the sea front, no one knew I was choked up including my wife sat beside me,. Probably coz I had sunglasses on. My point being you just never know what’s happening in people’s lives. That armour you dress up in when you go out can hide a multitude of things. We had a great day. But just for a glancing moment we get a little reminder of a life without the one thing we always thought we would have. Our children.
Thanks for listening
Jim.
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Lovely photo Kate, it’s the grandchildren that keep us on an even keel. At the moment I have all 3 grandchildren the twins and Stan all day and evening from Wednesday till sometime tomorrow, Geraint and his wife Hannah (Sam’s elder brother) the twins are Molly Rebecca (after Han’s sister) and Poppy Samantha after Sam
My glass of wine though!!
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