Dear Jim…Such true words and you express it so meaningfully just reading it made me cry. And you are so right we should be proud of ourselves for managing to cope with each day as it comes no matter how difficult that can be…With love Marina xxx
4 Likes
Dear Jim, like Marina, your writings brought tears to my eyes. You express so articulately how we all feel and that somehow makes us feel less alone. Big hugs to you xxx
5 Likes
Dear friends. Well it is with a heavy heart that I am to share my sadness as our beautiful German Pointer has deteriorated over the past few days. She is still eating but lethargic and sick during the night for 7 nights so far. Her cancer has obviously spread as she is passing blood both ways. Funny though, she looks So healthy and is never sick during the day. However, I checked her gums this morning and they are very pale. Sure sign of blood loss. I cried most of the morning, thinking of letting her go tomorrow. She is such a beautiful dog. Bless her heart.
Much love everyone.
Kate xx
4 Likes
Oh Kate, I’m so sorry to see this. More loss. My cat died about 3 months after my daughter and it’s just so sad. No clever words for it but I send you my love. Xxxx
4 Likes
Dear Kate…I am so sorry, I know so well that dreadful feeling of having to take your dog to the vets knowing that you will have to say goodbye to the most loyal friend you will ever have,You have done everything you possible you could for her…she as been a very lucky dog…thinking of you tomorrow…Marina xxx
4 Likes
Dear Kate, I am so sorry to hear about your poorly dog, so much loss is awful. They will cross the ‘rainbow bridge’ to find peace. I will be sending hugs and love tomorrow. Xxx
Sue
4 Likes
Dear Kate,
Am so sorry that your beautiful dog has deteriorated simply heartbreaking 
I will be thinking of you as you have to take her to the vet’s and do what is best for her, they give us so much love and help keep us going, I know Lisa will be waiting for her the other side of the rainbow bridge 
take care my friend much love from Michelle xxxx
4 Likes
Oh victoria hope you had a lovely birthday .sorry late reply.
As always jim you say it how we all think it i truly believe you need to write a book . You say what we all think . Thank you everyone for caring .i stayed in bed all of today just not like me .had a shower now hope tomorrow will be a better day xx
Dear kate our dogs mean everything to us they keep us strong .she sounds like shes had a great life .lisa will be waiting for her.be thinking of you tomorrow xxx
5 Likes
Hi jss i always think of you .i get all what your saying .our lifes are crushed and we have to accept theyve gone . Our minds go over and over .its torture . Please chat on here dont matter i always ramble thinking of you my lovely friend .hope we find the strength to getting stronger . Big hugs zoe xxx
5 Likes
Dear Kate so sorry to hear your lovely dog is so sick . I know when our little dog had cancer , he had the same symptoms , and had to put him down . It broke our hearts. He was 12 , but he still he still looked so young . Sending hugs Maddie xx
4 Likes
Dear Kate, I feel so sad for you caring for your beautiful dog when she is so unwell.
As Michelle says, Lisa will be waiting for her when it is her time to cross over.
Much love to you xxx
4 Likes
Dear Victoria,
Happy belated Birthday
I hope you had a nice day, I always get the last cards Matt wrote to us out for our birthday’s, I also have the last mothers day card Matt wrote me permanently out on my bedside table, our precious children will always be included in all special days we share, as you say its a way of keeping their memory alive and they will always be with us sending you much love from Michelle xxxx
3 Likes
Dear Friends,
Another weekend over and I know it’s been a tough one for many of us.
I couldn’t stop crying this morning - I feel that as time passes, I’m getting further away from the time when my son was still alive. It seems all wrong.
As ever, I find Jim manages to put into words the way we all feel. Keep writing, Jim.
It’s only here that I can say how wretched I feel - I miss my precious boy so much it hurts.
Goodnight to all of you out there - may we find some peace x
4 Likes
Dear Susan,
My heart breaks for you I know that feeling as time passes our children feel further away, one of the ladies on here said that with each day that passes its a day closer to seeing them again you are doing so well just by getting out of bed each day and finding the strength to post on here is brilliant and so good for you, I used to just read the posts at first but wish I had posted sooner, you can say what ever you want on here and know we have all experienced the same feelings, the pain will never go away but I promise it will with time get a bit more bearable, keep posting, we are all here for you, take care Goodnight Godbless, love Michelle xxxx
3 Likes
How kind you are, Michelle - and all of you.
Grief is so isolating. Keeping in touch with each other and offering words of support here helps us to feel less alone. None us wants to be here, but here we are, facing the worst that life can throw at us.
I spoke to my other son yesterday - he is away on holiday, but he called to check I’m OK, bless him. I know he also called because he is missing his brother so much, he and Oliver were “best mates” all their lives, and he was at Oliver’s side throughout his illness. My daughter too is devastated. When I talk to them, I try to sound strong and positive.
Here, I can say how it really feels, and I can hear how other people are coping (or not coping). We are doing the best we can. We are wounded, we are strong.
Love and blessings xx
2 Likes
Susanj1. You are rite, grief is very isolating. But not only that, while you are trying to carry your grief and manage it as best you can. You have to try and disguise it or hide it.
In the early days just after your loss you can only think of your child, everything else pales into insignificance. But as the weeks and months pass, you come to understand that the people around you are not having the experience that you are having. My my son died, In my mixed up state of mind I genuinely thought everyone was feeling what I was feeling. Because your mind is temporarily broken I thought everyone that ever knew my son would be totally devastated. I even couldn’t understand when I went out that strangers were not devastated at the loss of my boy. But you come to learn that it’s just you. YOU are the only one that is devastated. I mean truly devastated.
You quickly have to get yourself in gear and take hold of the reins especially if you have other children. They are looking to you to bounce off. You then feel you are carrying their grief aswell as your own. Fir some strange reason because you are the Central person being the bereaved parent, you are the yardstick that everyone measures themselves against. The amount of messages I’ve read on here of (usually mum’s). That say , I have to keep going for the sake of the other kids, more often than not the other kids are adults, but you are always the parent. But who’s there for you? If your other half isn’t the biological or you are a single parent. Who picks you up and puts you back together. When others around you are having tantrums or just distancing themselves from you, or expecting you to be the rock. Who’s your go to person. It’s yourself. Grief is lonely, very lonely. My son was an only child, my wife isn’t is biological mother, over 400 attended his funeral, I don’t see a single one of them and haven’t since the funeral.
There have been days I’ve felt like the most isolated person on the planet. You go out and see the general population just going about their business and you feel like you are just an invisible bystander looking on in the distance. I’ve had a thousand bad days, I’ve broken down on many an occasion, I’ve avoided all manner of things, parties, get togethers, holidays, nights out, conversations. But all those things come back to you. You learn to live again. I have an aunty who lives in Belfast, she lost her son 20 yrs ago. We are not particularly close. The other night she messaged me . She had a bad day and needed a shoulder. Had I not had this experience ( my boy). My first thought would have been. Bloody hell woman, get a grip and pull yourself together, it’s been 20 yrs. But when you are in our shoes , you know it doesn’t work like that. The child you once had can bring you to your knees at anytime. That never goes away. So if you are having a relapse or a bad day. Or you are just in a really crappy mood. So what!!! We have damn good reason for it. To anyone that thinks we should be over it. Either walk in my shoes or go Away. Just for the record the bad days get less and less. One day you will look back at how you were in the beginning and you will see how far you have come.
Thanks for listening
Take care
Jim
4 Likes
Oh bless you, Jim, for understanding the alone-ness this grief brings.
My husband, the father of my children, died a few years ago. My children pulled me through that. But losing Oliver is a whole different level of grief - he was my firstborn, he was full of life, had so much to live for and he brought me so much joy. So I am a lone parent, dealing with this, like you are.
I can understand that your aunty still feels the pain of the loss of her child. It scares me to think that I have to live the rest of my life with this sorrow.
I hope the bad days get less and less - but I know I’ve a long way to go.
Let’s keep going and keep in touch.
xx
5 Likes
Dear Jim,
I wish I could broadcast everything you have just said so everyone could have an idea of this awful journey we are on, you have summarised exactly how we all feel, thank you as ever for keeping it real 
Love to all Michelle xxxx
5 Likes
Thank you Jim, you have again hit the right words. Although I lost my daughter in May I am not coping at all well. I just broke down in the opticians today because last year my daughter helped me choose new glasses. You just don’t know when you are just going to literally drop to you knees in despair and sadness. I am literally scared of the future hoping that I will be able to cope better, because you just don’t know what to do and you just want your child back. Andy xx
4 Likes
Andy you have come tobthe right place. We are all here because we are all in the same boat. We save each other from falling overboard all the time.
Keep posting. Absolutely anything goes here.
Love and hugs.
Kate xx
3 Likes