Jim, again your words are so right , I must admit before we lost Dawn , Anyone who had lost a relative I would not thought of them as still grieving after a year . as when Mum and Dad passed the first year was the worse, and I seemed to be able to get on with life But after losing my Darling Daughter , my heart is still broken even after nearly 6 years , and some days so hard to carry on . Andy so sorry for the loss of your Daughter., But on this site we are a true family and we are all hear to listen , when you are having a bad day. With love Maddie xxx
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So today we said goodbye to Brackla. 13 and seven weeks.
She looked like a 2 year old. Slim muscley and strong.
Sadly the cancer must have spread and she was vomiting all the time. She passed in my arms with her Dad holding her Paw.
Itās not by any stretch like losing our children but at 13 she was part of our childrenās life.
Lots of love to you all.
Kate xx
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Our pets are so so special to us and a big part of our lives. I will light a candle for Brackla and say a prayer. She was lucky to have such a loving family to live with and now sheās crossed the rainbow bridge to rest. Sending love and a big hug xxxxxā¤
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Dear Kate,
Am so sorry your little fur baby has sadly passed away, she is no longer suffering and is having lots of cuddles now from Lisa 
sending you love and hugs my friend, Michelle xxx
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Hi Kateā¦I have been thinking about you a lot for I know how distressing today would have been for you, when you have had an animal for as long as you had Brackla they become part of the family so it is so upsetting when you lose them, but she will be with Lisa now and a comfort for you to think they are both to together again.
With love and kisses Marina xxx
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So sorry to hear about your lovely pet Brackla, , Safe in the arms with Lisa . When we had a reading with Jackie , and Dawn came through , she told us all the pets were in Heaven Dend. Sending hugs Maddie xx
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Dear Lisa, so sorry to hear that you have lost Brackla. But as others have said, she will be with Lisa and was lucky to be part of such a loving family.
Sending you lots of love my friend xxx
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Thankyou all for your caring words of comfort. I didnāt sleep last night and its now 2.39 and I am back downstairs on my phone so another sleepless night. Itās strange, the karma of the house has changed. Brackla has gone and we know we made the right decision. It just feels strange in the house.
The other two dogs are fast asleep in their beds which is a comfort to see. Probably none too pleased at Mum putting lights on and boiling the kettle.
Sending love to you all and thankyou.
Kate xxxx
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Hi Lisa. Also sat downstairs, like most nights. I dream of going to sleep 
. Sorry about your dog. They are precious creatures. Definitely part of the family. we a have a little dog. Heās 15. Dreading the day he goes heās been an absolute rock these last few years.
Hope you are well under the circumstances
Take care
Jim
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Sorry my mistake Lisa. Meant. Kate 
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Thankyou Jim. Its weird Brackla left us almost to the day we brought her home as a puppy 13 years ago. She was a stunning looking dog and still looked very fit and lean, no aches and pains to see. When she developed the tumor behind her left eye we decided not to put her through surgery as the vet said it would spread if it hadnāt already.
She seemed to be doing really well until this past week when she was sick every night so we knew things had taken a turn.
We love them so much donāt we.
Take care Jim.
Kate xxxx
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Jim everything you said is so true lately I have been feeling down. The anniversary of my sonās death is in October I donāt know if that has something to do with it ,but I have been having a couple of bad days. I donāt know if you feel that way a couple months before the anniversary or if you feel that way on the day of the anniversary I have no idea but feelings are stirring up inside of me and right now I feel like Iām less focused at work and Iām not sure why. It doesnāt help either that we just had someone retire and she was in my unit so now I have the extra work also and Iām feeling stressed. I donāt know Iām just rambling on. Fall is coming and it is usually my favorite time of the year, but this year Iām dreading it.
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Hi racy. Still early days for you yet. You have been doing really well, but grief comes in waves. Sometimes they are unavoidable and they swamp you. Itās just a natural process you are going through. Itās really tough to keep your head above the waves sometimes. Anniversary dates are tough especially the first ones. Itās very hard not to build them up up into a major event. They sit there looming in the distance waiting for you. But you will get passed them racy. You are allowed to feel down. Donāt beat yourself up over it. You are on a big journey trying to adapt to the new you. It takes a bit of getting used to
Take care my friend
Jim
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Thank you Jim kind and knowledgeable words sometimes I forgot itās a natural process when I am feeling low.
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Hi Racey I am feeling your stress , I know it will be your first anniversary , and I must admit it will the worse one , I dreaded it so much , had to go to the doctors to get sleeping tablets . But I can assure you the build up is worse than the actual day . As I know you will probably have your family around you and you will be so busy organising something , that you will get through it better than you think . I donāt mean to seem hard , I so hope it works out for you , as it did nearly 6 years ago when we lost Dawn , as I can remember every minute Sending love Maddie xxxx
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Thank you so much Maddie. I of course am not looking forward to it but, like you said I will have support. Youāre right the build-up probably is worse than the actual day because you get yourself all worked up.
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Hi all. Sat up again in the small hours. It never crosses your mind that you will loose your kids!!!. You spend all that time bringing them up. Teaching them right from wrong. You warn them of all the dangers when they are young. Donāt put your fingers in the plug sockets. Donāt drink bleach.
. Train them how to cross the road , what to look for. Keep away from strangers. A million other things that you have to explain to them, why they should or shouldnāt do something. You never in your wildest dreams think that something will infact take them away from you. Not on your watch.
Then one day it happens!!! Even if they are ill, you still donāt think itās possible for them to leave. When the policewoman knocked on my door it was the furthest thing from my mind that I had lost my son. The realization that they have gone is so monumental that it literally takes months to sink it. Infact two or three years later you still expect them to walk through the door. I really donāt think the shock to your system can be quantified.
Itās not like bad news of any other kind. Youāve lost your job. The car has been pinched. Your marriage has broke down. You can get your head round all of those. Loosing a child changes absolutely everything about you and your life. I donāt think you ever come to terms with it. You definitely learn to adapt. But itās almost like you now exist in a parallel universe. I miss my boy so much my heart hurts. But somehow you find the strength to carry on. For a while you are actually just existing,. Running on fumes only. But Iām sure anyone will tell you who is a few years down the line. You can, live a life. Itās not the same as it was and it never will be. But you can get by. My wife and I are both in our 50,s. We both have our ailments. My wife only has one lung. And a back problem,. I have arthritis and we both joke I have my head problems. Neither of the above are going to ever go away. But we carry on regardless. There is no alternative. We have to carry on and make the best of the situation. I donāt think there has ever been a day gone by that I havenāt thought about my boy in one form or another. I still live in the house he was born in. His school is round the corner. The pubs he drank in just down the road. In the beginning I hated leaving the house because there would always be something to remind me. I thought about moving away . But I came to realize even if I moved to the other side of the world. All the memories would still be with me. You canāt run away from whatās in your head. The difference now that I am a few years down the line I can sometimes have a good laugh at some of the memories. Jokes we shared. Holidays we had. Good times we had. I couldnāt do that in the beginning. I have often asked myself the question. Why me? Why has this happened to me. But itās not about me. Itās just a thing that happened and I have to try and live with it. Thatās it. There is no answer. I could spend the rest of my life trying to find the reason. When my sonās number was up, it was up. Being angry, guilty, remorseful. Punishing yourself. Restricting yourself. Isnāt going to change anything. For the first 3/4 years I couldnāt see the funny in anything. I stopped smiling and laughing. But now!!! I can do all of the things I used to do. Just without my boy.
Rite think Iāve rambled on enough now. Sorry if Iāve bored you all to tearsš
Take care
Jim.
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Oh Jim thereās nothing boring about what you said It is right on the money as always. Please bore us as often as you like 
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Hi Jim, there is no rambling, just heartfelt words from one who has experienced this life changing loss. This is what we are all feeling but canāt always put it into words. Our journeys are individual but we all travel down the same road, a rough road so difficult to navigate.
Love to All
Chris x
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Thank you Jim. Reading your posts has helped me a lot, and Iām sure others on here feel the same. You cut through to the heart of the matter. The sad and painful and heartbreaking fact is our children, of whatever age, are gone and we canāt change that. We are left behind to try and carry on. I know in my heart that I am changed by the loss and I wonāt be returning as the person I was before. I can have some sort of a life though and slowly, slowly I am working towards that. One day at a time. Thereās no shortcut to avoid the pain, but it definitely helps having this place to share with others, who are further down the road or even in the very early days. The support and honesty on here shows that the depth of pain when you lose your own child is almost universal and excruciating as it is, itās ānormalā. Iām not weak or hysterical to feel bereft, Itās to be expected. It really does show the depth of our loss and our love. Im keeping on keeping on and some days thatās all I can manage. I donāt need others telling me to āpull myself togetherā, if it was as simple as they make it sound I would have done it months ago. Grieving your child is not selfish, itās natural. It wonāt go away, but over time I am learning to live with it. I wish I didnāt have to learn these painful lessons and I am glad Iām not alone on this journey. I have the best advice and the best understanding on here, from people like me who know how it feels and we share our pain and our insights. We donāt have to dress it up to please others. Keep posting Jim your truth and lack of pretence about losing a child is a help. I need the truth, not a pat on the back from people who have no idea how it feels, or how difficult it is to navigate life going forward without our children. Thank you Jim and everyone who shares in here. Xxxx
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