ABSOLUTELY!X
2 Likes
You lovely people 
3 Likes
Itâs so very true. Xxx
3 Likes
Lovely words, Helen. I never ever thought I would be able to carry on after losing Gemma but here I am 4 years later. We are stronger than we think and I gain so much strength from all of you ⌠bless you all 
2 Likes
Ive been to jess and sams friends 30 th party sam should have been there. I felt like he was .me and jess have shared three bottles of wine hope sam was dancing with us. Xxxxxx
2 Likes
Dear Helen,
Such wise words, you explain it so well, I feel I skate round an ice lake trying to avoid the cracks because if I go under I am not sure I will be able to get back outt 
Itâs so lovely to get signs from our children, just today as I pulled up at the cemetery Mattâs song came on the radio, I played it full blast and it warms my heart, we have a special connection with dragonflies since we lost Matt, as whilst he was in Malawi he had an enormous dragonfly that kept visiting him it even sat on his leg, we told him it was his grandparents visiting him, he also had a dream that they came to him and hugged him and he felt upset as it seemed so real, 3 days later he passed away 
all of our family have had special visits from dragonflies since he passed and this gives us so much strength to carry on as I know he is with us
You are all amazing and and your posts help me so much, this site is such a comfort its our safe place, thank you to all that have helped me through the past 3 years, sending love and strength to all that are new on this journey, you will make it and we are all here to help you
Big love to old and new friends from Michelle xxxx
3 Likes
In the dream his grandparents visited him who had passed away and hugged him not the dragonfly 
the way it was worded I bet you all thought what is she on about 
take care xxxx
3 Likes
Hi Michelle,
No youâre OK I understood, glad you felt Matt with you but then he will always be around you
When Roy was in hospital (my mums husband, Sam and
Geraint called him gramps he died 9th June exactly 18 months to the day after Sam) John and I stayed all night with him and I turned and I heard clear as a bell Iâll look after gramps now mumâŚIt was Samâs voice Roy was in a deep coma but he pulled his arm out from under the cover and stretched it as far as possible as though he was reaching for something, he died a few hours later and I know without a doubt Sam came to collect him.
Love Helen
3 Likes
Hi Helen,
I remember when you posted this before and agree it was definitely Sam and I have spoken to others who have experienced a similar thing when a loved one passed away. I feel comforted knowing our precious children will be waiting to take our hand when itâs our time
I have taken a screenshot of this lovely post by Donna Ashworth, thank you so much for sharing
Love Michelle xxx
1 Like
Something I just read and thought Iâd share :-
The best way I can describe grieving over a child as the years go by is to say itâs similar to carrying a stone in your pocket.
When you walk, the stone brushes against your skin. You feel it. You always feel it. But depending on the way you stand or the way your body moves, the smooth edges might barely graze your body.
Sometimes you lean the wrong way or you turn too quickly and a sharp edge pokes you. Your eyes water and you rub your wound but you have to keep going because not everyone knows about your stone or if they do, they donât realize it can still bring this much pain.
There are days you are simply happy now, smiling comes easy and you laugh without thinking. You slap your leg during that laughter and you feel your stone and arenât sure whether you should be laughing still. The stone still hurts.
Once in a while you canât take your hand off that stone. You run it over your fingers and roll it in your palm and are so preoccupied by itâs weight, you forget things like your car keys and home address. You try to leave it alone but you just canât. You want to take a nap but itâs been so many years since youâve called in âsadâ youâre not sure anyone would understand anymore or if they ever did.
But most days you can take your hand in and out of your pocket, feel your stone and even smile at its unwavering presence. Youâve accepted this stone as your own, crossing your hands over it, saying âmineâ as children do.
You rest more peacefully than you once did, youâve learned to move forward the best you can. Some days you want to show the world what a beautiful memory youâre holding. But most days you twirl it through your fingers, smile and look to the sky. You squeeze your hands together and hope you are living in a way that honors the missing piece you carry, until your arms are full again.â
Love Helen
5 Likes
Lovely words Helen, thank you for sharing
Much love Michelle xxxx
Dear all, I have had such a bad weekend. My sisterâs daughter married on Saturday and because she cut contact with me after Gemmaâs service (because she didnât agree with the arrangements), we were the only ones not to be invited. It affected me so badly and has made me realise how vulnerable we are now. At the weekend I was taken straight back to that terrible time.
Situations that I would have dealt with before have the ability to bring me to my knees.
Sometimes it doesnât take much and sets me back so quickly. It is so hard to know how to deal with it when it happens as I feel that I could easily feel out of control.
Although I hate the thought, I feel as though I am damaged and hope one day to feel whole again. So strange ⌠we can jog along now through our lives appearing to be coping or managing so well then something happens to take the floor from beneath us.
I am slowly now getting back to where I was.
Sorry to go on! xxx
4 Likes
Hello Victoria
Sorry you feel low . No one will ever understand this journey. And how delicate we truly are . You are always so amazing .very supportive .hope you feel better as the week goes on .sending you love
5 Likes
Morning Victoria so sorry you feel so low. I no that awful feeling of not being invited itâs terrible one of my daughter s did it to me some yrs ago because I didnât approve of the family she was going into but I told her to get married to him it was her choice and I s accept it. So she went and got married but didnât invite me I was so upset and it took me along time to get over it. Itâs not nice luv but try and look after yourself. And yes itâs true we are vunerable XX shellyanne
4 Likes
Hi Victoria,
Youâre not going onâŚwe are all here for you and we understand. This is only my personal opinion but your sister sounds very controlling and quite frankly cold how on earth do you cut ties with your sibling who by the way is going through the most traumatic time of her life over a b*y service for Gemma. It was your choice she should have backed you and been there for you, and to carry it on to that degree that you now feel like s all over again. Perhaps pen her a letter putting down all your feelings and post it, someties reading how you have made others feel makes you reflect on your own attitude and character If she can do that to her sister she is not worth bothering with., these are harsh words and unfortunately I do tend to tell it as it is.
You have and are going through the most traumatic time you will ever have. Take time and be kind to yourself.
Love Helen
3 Likes
Dear Victoria,
I am so sorry you are having a bad time, I totally understand what you mean, we are walking on a tightrope everyday, most of the time we manage to balance but some times when something happens we fall and its only a 12inch drop but it feels like we fell a100ft and our minds and hearts become completely broken, you almost feel you could have a complete mental breakdown but remember you baby steps and take it slowly and I know you will get back on the rope as Gemma will help you back up Helen is so right about your sister she is a horrible person, maybe you should write that letter even if you donât send it, it may help to write it, Iâm not in the best place and feel not able to cope at the moment with things I normally just take in my stride, take care my lovely friend, I will msg you on WhatsApp for a chat soon xxx
3 Likes
Thank you everyone for your loving support. Michelle and Helen, I was thinking of writing to my sister, to tell her how hurt I am by her behaviour so maybe I will sit down and do it.
I think it will help me.
It is difficult how quickly we can fall but we pick ourselves up and carry on and hopefully the path gets easier. Much love and a peaceful night to everyone
6 Likes
Sending much love back to you Victoria let us know how you feel once youâve wrote the letter, take care everyone, love Michelle xxx
3 Likes
Hi Victoria,
Putting it all down on paper really doeshelps, because then itâs said. I would definitely send it and once sent it then releases all of the hurt that she has caused you, without the grief you carry.
I truly cannot understand how some people can hurt us when we are already hurting, once written and sent you can then put her and her actions in a box on the top shelf and never look in it again. She will be the loser, she will lose a loving kind and gentle sister.
Love Helen
4 Likes
Thank you Helen ⌠what I do without you all? 
Another lovely poem by Donna Ashworth
Take Them With You
If someone you love
did not make it on that trip,
You can take it for them,
WITH them.
If someone you love
Did not see you reach that milestone
You can show them
ANYTIME a you like
If someone you love
Did not get to do THEIR living
The way they always imagined,
You can finish those dreams
On their BEHALF
The beautiful thing about love
You see
Is that death need not stop LIFE
If you carry someone in your HEART
You can take them with you
ANYTIME you like.
2 Likes