Hi Maddie,
You are so right. Sometimes it is so hard to put a smile on my face when I feel dead inside. Today is Gemma’s birthday and we went to leave flowers for her. As I stood up the most incredible rainbow appeared right above us, a heart stopping moment. Even my husband said he had never see one like it. A sign? It so felt like it.
I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow Wynne.
Much love xxx
Thinking of you and family also of your lovely boy xxx
Hello Wynne
I will be thinking of you tomorrow on Daniel’s second anniversary. It will be hard of that there is no doubt but please try to keep busy as best you can, that is how I cope. Daniel would not want you to be distraught but to remember him and the things that he did, the things that made you smile, laugh even the things that made you cross and as soon as you think of him like that you will know he is around you. Daniel will always be in your heart, like Sam is with me. Talk out loud to him it does help.
with love Helen
Hi Victoria, im so glad you had a sign from Gemma, it just shows us that we cant all be wrong when we think its a sign from our loved ones, It just helps us get through another awful day. Take care Maddie xx
Hi All, Wynne I hope you can get through tomorrow and be able to think of the lovely times you’ve had, the joy Daniel brought to you and how proud you are of him. We just want some comfort don’t we? I know we’re so easily knocked down. You will be relieved when you do get through this difficult day.
Victoria, birthdays are another difficult time. I’m hope Gemma has been partying today. You were meant to be very impressed with the incredible rainbow,what a comfort for you. When I see a rainbow, I always think of Over the Rainbow by Eva Cassidy. Have a listen. X
Thank you Christine. I will always remember today as it felt very special. I know the song by Eva Cassidy and it is very beautiful. Much love xx
Hi Wynne…Thinking of you lots today and wondering how you have coped…time is meant to be an healer but when you have lost such a precious person in your life I don’t think time can ever heal, but we have to try and carry on with life and try to be happy because it is what they would have wanted…Thinking of you and your family.
Take care …with love Marina xxx
Hello Victoria
Yes, seeing a rainbow is a sign that your loved one is near. How very special for you to see that. Another sign that they are around you is when you find a white feather where you wouldn’t expect to see it.
With love Helen
Dear Marina, Victoria, Helen, Maddie and everyone, Thank you so much for giving me support with your lovely messages. I know everyone feels these anniversaries are so difficult. The memories seem to flood back and even though it is now two years I can remember every second of that day when are worlds seem to stop and we entered a different realm. To make it worse my mother suffered a severe stroke down her left side and we had to spend the day and night by her bedside in the hospital. Of course she is an old lady now and has had a full and rich life which our boy never had. My mum is still very weak and spends most of the time drifting in and out of sleep so I think her time may be short. We will naturally be sad but this can not compare with the overwhelming loss of a young life. My mum also has had dementia for the last six years so she does not recognise any of us so in a way it is easier to say goodbye. She is peaceful and there is no pain unlike our boy who suffered so much and knew exactly what was going on. I do hope all of you are finding some hope. With love always. Wynne
It is today my boy, Chris’ 39th birthday and the third since he died in November 2016.
There are flowers around his memorial tree, I have sent him a card, and bought him a present, ’ When at night I go to Sleep, ’ by Humperdinck is playing on the radio, my beautiful puppy is licking the tears from my cheeks, but it is not enough, not nearly enough, I want him back.
My heart goes out to you all here, especially those of you who have just gone through these anniversaries, and those who have only just started on this strange journey.
Especially to you too, Wynne, when you have your Mum to think of.
My love to you all, Anneka x
1 Like
Hi Anneka…Just read your post and it has me in tears, for no matter how many hours,days or years go by our children whom we have lost will always be at the forefront of our minds, wanting them so much to come back to us and knowing that they can’t that it’s impossible is unbearable and yet it is something we must live with.
With love and my thoughts to you…Happy 39th birthday Chris…Marina xxx
Dear Anneka,
You have moved me to tears and the way you describe missing Chris is so eloquent and I you have captured exactly how I feel about missing Gemma. Life feels so cruel and grey without our beautiful children.
Sending you lots of love and peace in your heart xxx
Hi Anneka, thinking of you on the very sad day which would have been Chris 39th birthday. Sending Love to you all . Maddie xx
Dear Anneka,
What can I say except that I am thinking of you, on this very sad day. We all here know that feeling of wanting them back it’s something we think of every day. Chris I am sure will want you to try and get through the day and he will always be around you and in your heart.
with love Helen
Wynne,
I am so sorry to hear of your mum but as you say she has had a rich and full life and as you say she does not recognise any of you. I will be thinking of you, as you may remember my stepdad died on the 9th June exactly 18 months to the date of Sam 9th December and then Roy (my stepdad) 9th June, he also had vascular dementia, so yes I understand it is easier to say goodbye and let them be at peace.
with love
Helen
Anneke, your post says it all. Our loss is unbearably painful. I hope you are coping better.
Any anniversary, birthday and Christmas I just want to run for the hills. Sometimes I just want the world to stop because it seems it’s moving too fast, maybe in the hope things will be different. But there is no getting away from reality. We just have I find a way to cope.
Love to everyone
xx
Thank you so much for your support . This site is the only place to come now where I know you will understand, and be going through the same or similar experiences.
love to you all, Anneka x
Dear Helen, Anneka, Maddie and everyone, My heart seems to have a constant ache. It is two years to the day of that awful funeral and I am finding it hard even though so many days and nights have passed to accept this life. I just want Daniel back. I know logically that is impossible but this constant longing never seems to stop and instead of moving forward I feel trapped in a time warp. So many friends already seem to have forgotten which hurts so much. I loved it when someone just mentions his name even though it is bitter sweet. How do we get through this torture. Tears are forever falling and although I function I feel out of touch with reality. Sending love. Wynne
Yes Wynne I feel the same it will be 1 year soon since we lost Sam and I am still feeling the same way I am not so panic struck as I was but it is still unbelievable sending you much love sal x
Hi Wynne, and all, yes feel exactly the same my heart aches so much for Dawn , I just feel I am getting worse instead of better, and yes people do not seem to mention our love ones anymore , like they did not exist.little do they know I am still dying inside , people who say yime heals do not know what they are talking about, and to finish it off I had another email with Dawns name saying hopei am alright and just wanted to share something with me, I wanted so much to think it came from Dawn, how can people be so cruel when they know we are so vunerable? Sending love Maddie x