Dear Pauline and all friends here.
Like all of us here we often think back to the childhood years of our lost ones. I suddenly remembered today about something my friends wee boy used to say in the car when i was looking after him and whilst taking him and Lisa to playgroup.
He had an imaginary friend he called Faraway Ewan, so when i drove from our village to our nearby town Nicky would point to the hills and tell me thats where Faraway Ewan lives.
I now know that mindset as i often think of Lisa being, just up there, or just in Inverness or just on holiday. The concept of faraway Ewan is a comfort. I hope you can all understand me. Its like a mechanism for coping.
Oh Zoe your words â people donât talk about Sam , he did existâ so touched me. People donât talk but they wonât have forgotten , every time I hear â I am giantâ I think about your Sam even tho I did not know him i see those photos In my mind and it makes me smile because he was such a brave , loving, happy boy and he was so deeply loved. I am sure there are many others who will think about your Sam to when they hear that song as they know it was his favourite and itâs so special to you. People in blissful ignorance move on and donât get it, that we like to talk about them and maybe learn something new or be reminded of something we might have forgotten, but they are just getting on with their lives. Itâs not that easy for us we think about them every second of every day. Someone texted me today â I wonât ask you how you are because I knowâ they wrote , I had not spoken to them for a while but I knew they got it , so I just replied âyes itâs hard.â They knew I would be finding it especially hard this time of year so I thought it was kind of them to just check in that I was ok . I am sorry people do not talk about Sam to you any more itâs sad , but I am sure they are thinking of you and him , they just donât know what to say.
We are here for you on this site anyway when you want to talk about Sam .
Thinking of you and sending love xx
But my love for my darling son Joey will never ever go away. Itâs only been 100 days since I lost him but I will love him just as deeply in death as I did when he was alive.
Already now, after such a short time, people are urging me to get out and start enjoying some things again. Yes, I know I need to try and get out - the last two days Iâve not even managed to get up out of bed - but enjoy??? Really??? With Xmas two days away? Nobody knows this feeling of utter despair & sorrow unless they too have lost a child.
Iâve received several cards wishing me a happy Christmas. The mind boggles! Are there really so many uncaring, thick people out there? On the other hand I also get a lot of support from friends who realise they donât know what to say, so they donât say anything - they listen.
Yes, maybe it will get easier with time but I will always be Joeyâs mom and he will always my son so the love will remain very much part of my life
Joeys mom i totally understand. Most people, true friends have been very supportive but one of the condolence messages i had said âall the bestâ at the end⌠i was gobsmacked. Unless you have experienced this utter despair, you really cant understand. I have to keep going to make my grandchildrenâs Christmas happy but inside i am empty. Take one breath at a time and know you are not alone xx
Hi everyone , jus wanted to wish all of you a peaceful Xmas , and you get through it the best you can .i have always dreaded Xmas ever since we lost Dawn December 11 2016 , and we could not say goodbye to her untill the 28th it breaks my heart thinking about it , she didnât deserve to go . Now our Xmas Is now waiting to find out if Sarah will. alright , we had the devasting nees this week she has a mass in her chest , she spent a couple of days in hospital and they have taken a biopsy and she had a full body scan yesterday . So we will know the outcome untill next week . So we have got to try and stay upbeat , not to spoil Jess our Grandchildâs Xmas . She should of been going to Edinburgh tSt Andrews as a surprise for her husband 50 th birthday But spent in hospital instead . . Donât we all have rotten luck . With love Maddie xxx
Thankyou Kate , yes such a nightmare , what ever it is has attached itself to a main artery . So will just have to wait for results . Canât believe , she has always looked after herself never smoked , doesnât drink much , and goes to the gym twice a week . She is keeping a positive mood , she has just asked to go round for dinner Xmas day As we wer not exspecting , we told her we were not worried spending Xmas day by ourselves . To us itâs just another day . But she is amazing , I know she must be worried , who wouldnât . Anyway dear Kate , I hope you enjoy it with your amazing family . With Lisa in your heart . Love Maddie xxxxx
Yes Chris I feel so sorry for Sarah , she is being strong , and hope the out come might to good . But itâs the waiting that is the worse Love Maddie xxx
Yes agree with Purple, fingers crossed she is OK. Please stay strong, you have weathered enough storms that would have sunk a battleship, Dawn will be around you and I am so pleased that Sarah invited you round please go, it will help her as much as it will help you.
Thank you dear purple, for your kind words!! Weâre in this club together arenât we!? I made a mistake actually⌠itâs not 100 days but 10 weeks. Yes it is raw and I am hurting so much.
Iâm so sorry that you still feel pain too after losing Henry, even after 3 years. Does it ever get better? .
Dear Maddie,
So sorry to hear about Sarah will keep everything crossed and say a little prayer that she gets the all clear, sending love and hugs to you Maddie and all at this difficult time of year
Michelle xxxx
Darling Maddie, remember that we are all thinking of you, Sarah and John. It was lovely to catch up today. Youâve always been a fighter, so I know that youâll get through this. Donât lose that strength; donât let go of that bravery and we will stay positive for you all
but letâs hope itâs nothing too serious.
and say a little prayer 
