Thankyou Victoria , such lovely words , I am so proud to call you a good friend . You are so understanding and bought me so much comfort ,. Even though you are suffering too . Love you lots . Maddie xxx
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Hi maddie thinking of you .stay positive im sure will all ok for sarah .waiting is always the worst .
Very hard at this time of year for everyone. Thinking of all you friends on here .wouldnt cope without you . We all on this journey and its a rollercoaster of emotion and hurt . My thoughts are withyou all this Christmas time much love zoe 
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I have lighted a candle tonight for my boy Chris and all your precious sons and daughters. I feel him very close to me tonight, as Iām sure your children are to you.
Thinking of you all on this Christmas Eve, sending you love and peace,
Anneka x
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My dear Maddie
Such truly hearbreaking news. I will keep Sarah in my thoughts and am sure all our loved ones will be doing all they can to help her get thru this.
Hope everyone can have as good a xmas and new year as possible.
Love and hugs to everyone
Pauline x
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Thankyou Pauline, for you good wishes . We can only hope and pray the outcome will be treatable . Hope you you and your family have a peaceful Xmas . And to you dearest Zoe , hoping yo all get through this Xmas the best you can . Sending love Maddie xxxx
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Thinking of you all especially at this time. So difficult for so many of us. I find it hard as I donāt want to spoil Christmas for others so I keep Gemma safe within me. I have lit a candle tonight for all our lovely children and wish you all a peaceful Christmas. Much love to you all xxx
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Dear Maddie just read your post and and I cannot believe that you are having yet again to go through through such upset at this time of year particularly after losing your darling Dawn,ā¦life can be so cruel at timesā¦My prayers are with both you and Sarah tonight.
Thinking of you ,take care Marina, xxx
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Wishing each and everyone of you a safe and peaceful Christmas, and hoping the New Year brings us all comfort and peace of mind,Marina xxx
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Oh Thankyou Marina , yes itās a waiting game at the moment , have to wait until end of next week for results we are all trying to stay positive . There is something about December , lost my Dad , Dawn , now this with Sarah, And to top it all off we lost our best friend this morning., Will be glad when itās all over . But sending you and your family our good wishes Xxxx
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Hi all,
When I first went on this site less than a month after my son Joey died on October 13th, I was comforted by many of the words of other parents who had gone through the exact same loss.
But at the same time it also depresses me terribly to read how very many people still feel so bereft after not just months and months but years after they lost their child.
Christmas has been just awful. Iāve been in tears most of the time. I look at pictures and videos of my son as it brings him back to life for just a little while, but both my husband and my other son tell me this is not a good idea, and nor is reading about other peopleās grief, like on the SR site, they say.
Weāve basically ignored Xmas altogether as it would just have brought back memories of our last Xmas together when we stil had hope that Joey would conquer his cancer.
I feel so terribly sad. My other son is single, I have no grandchildren, other family live in Canada & Holland so itās just so very lonely. I really donāt know how to get through this and how to face the new year.
I hope others here are faring better than me 
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Oh Joey feel so sad for you , looking at our children is so painful , I could not put Dawns photo 5 months after she passed I only did it for my Husband . And i was glad I did after all that time . And Dawn had a Disney wedding and I must admit even after 6 years I find it so hard . It is so early days for you and my heart goes out to you . You must do things when you think the time is right . Although I know no time is right , everything is so dam painful , that is the problem . But do things that might give you comfort . We are still waiting on Sarah test results might know Thursday if we are likely , and now we lost our best friend on Xmas eve and now they had to call an ambulance for his wife on Xmas day . So so hard . Take care my dear friend
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Thank you, Maddi. Iām keeping you in my thoughts that Sarahās test results are good!! And his dad you lost your friend. How much suffering there is everywhere!
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Hiya - it really is very early days for you. You are probly still suffering shock and quite likely trauma, on top of that Xmas and the stark reminder that your child isnāt there. Thatās enough to make the strongest person feel overwhelmed and turn up the grief and yearning even more. You have got Xmas day and Boxing Day done literally a couple of months after all thatās happened. Thatās good enough for now. Donāt expect too much of yourself, you are exhausted too. You are grieving probly the biggest loss of your life. It takes time to begin to even think straight. I donāt think people get over it, but I think we can learn to live with it. Not the life we would have chosen, but still, in time and kindness to ourselves, we can live a life that feels meaningful. Hope that makes a bit of sense. Sending many hugs xxxx
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Dear Joeys Mum, I am sorry you are so sadā¦ It is hard losing a child, the worst that can happen but we can carry on and live good lives. I found that after the first six months or so, after the shock subsided, that a kind of peace settled around me ā¦ it is hard to describe. You will have moments of despair but you will also have moments of happiness again.
I think the first anniversaries are worst, first birthdays, anniversaries, first Christmas. I think it is best to do whatever gets you through.
On our first Christmas after we lost Gemma, I could not stay in the house, so we went out and that helped me. But gradually you will discover your own coping mechanisms and find a way through. So take heart and believe that you can live a good life after losing your precious boy. Sending you much love 
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Dear Victoria & Nell,
Thank you so much for your kind, encouraging words. I really have been at the bottom of the pit these last days. I know itās only my first Christmas without my sweet boy and that I need to give it all time. My reason tells me that things will become easier with time but Iām still so far from that at the moment. Itās so so hard. Thank you! I was right to post here again as only you know what a Dantesque reality we live in when we lose a child. Bless you both!
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Hi got through xmas day woke with such over whelming saddness .could not stop the tears but we decided to go out for xmas lunch .couldnt face being in. And it was very nice . Just feel so lonely now without sam . Keep going over everything in my head .why do these awful things happen. ā¦ we have to try i know and i do .its just so very hard ā¦thinking of you maddie .praying it all be ok xx big hugs to everyone wishing you a peaceful time
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Dear Zoe, yes it is very hard. We went to friends on xmas moring for drinks. This tradition has been going for 31 years. Even during lockdown our friends hosted but in the garden house just one family atca time. It was cold with the doors open but we all managed. This year we were back to normal and it was lovely.
I had a lump in my throat thinking back to when all our children were there too playing in front of the fire. Alan at one point was sitting on the window seat on his own just staring out the window. Our friend Fran, thd host, went to join him and i could see he was crying. I was in conversation with a friend and was watching over her shoulder. I held back as i knew if i went over the pair of us would be clinging to each other crying. I didnāt want to spoil everyones lovely day. Its what we do though isnt it. We try not to upset others even when we are in so much pain.
Like you i miss my darling Lisa with every breath. Go over znd over the time she was in hospital and keep wondering why?? Why our beautiful girl? Like all of us here we want to know why our child. Its so hard Zoe but somehow we get through.
Sending love and a big hug.
Kate xxxx
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Itās now 11 months since my daughter died. The first 6 months were painful beyond words. Iām far from out of the woods but I am able to get some pleasure from some things. At first there was nothing but misery wall to wall. First āimprovementā was just tiny things like realising Iād spent 10 minutes actually absorbed in something else, I noticed that I could occasionally focus on say a tv programme for a few mins before the pain and anguish returned. Someone told a joke and surprise, surprise I laughed for a few moments. Small moments that I definately took for granted before my daughter died. One of the most important things you deserve is to be kind to yourself. Give yourself some time, it is not selfish to consider your needs too. Itās wisdom. You are going through an awful lot, more than most people can understand. You can survive and you are right to use websites like this. It was the first place I found where people actually get it. We can support each other, you are doing that and itās helpful to you and to us who are also on this awful journey. It helps to share and itās a good thing. Sending love xxxxx
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Hi all
I managed to get up and showered, put make up on and go to friends for a truly wonderful day. Where they all treated me as part of their family. I wish i know what my adult children did and my grandchildren but i will never know. So i take the positive and disregard the negatives. I have people in my life who love and care about me, in a way my own family canāt. That is about them and not about me. A couple in my street lost their son this year and i sent a xmas card with a difference. Instead of good wishes for the festive period and wishing luck in the new year. I wrote to them saying how sorry i was they were part of this awful club and it can be very satisfying to shred all those cards that people automstically send as they think they would be over it by now. Just to do what they feel right for themselves. They were so touched they actually came and thanked me for the card. Saying it was the only real card they had got. Then they said they understood how i have felt all these years. It is truly amazing what a small gesture of kindness can do. I have told them about this sight but it might still be 2 raw. Everyone on here truly r the only people that can understand our pain and support us thru this.
I feel understood here in a way that doesnāt come into my regular life. I thank u all for ur support and kind words.
Love and hugs to all
Pauline x
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I know what you mean about shredding thoughtless Christmas cards, Pauline! Iāve done that too, but have also received a couple of very nice cards - not Christmassy ones but simple cards of a bird and a landscape, with a message that I am in my friendsā thoughts and hearts during this difficult time. I donāt see how hard that is to do, yet I also got ones wishing me a happy Xmas and excellent 2023. Yeah right! 
.
Glad you had a good day though.
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