My son also died in a car crash. I would be very interested in watching the movie u speak of. As at the time and still today i can’t understand how it happened, who would have been there for him etc. He officially died many hours but after post mortem the conclusion was his neck was broken at the brain stem so technically died on impact. I always thought we were there at the hospital with him until the post mortem results were given. I had to beg my GP to get the results as there was not a mark on his body and he never made it to the scanner even though he came thru surgery to remove his spleen. I also know that dark hole. Even now almost 11 yrs later i still find myself in that hole at times.
Dear Jim, you were very brave to watch the film and hope you found it helpful and indeed it shows just how far you have come. I was awed by your description of the early days and I think we can all identify those feelings. I wonder if our brain shuts down at first then gradually we are able to process more and that brings more acceptance of our situations.
Take care of yourself xxx
Hi Pauline.
Sorry , I didn’t catch the name of the film . I didn’t see it from the start, so I’m afraid I can’t give you the title.
Take care my friend
Jim
Oh crikey I read your words and they are so true if my son. Steve was 35 and left us just one month ago. He too told me he didn’t want me to be sad and leave me without a son, his wife without a husband, children without a dad etc but he had no choice, 10 months after diagnosis he lost the fight against bowel cancer stage 4. I can’t go a day without breaking down. I pretend for his sister, my daughter but in private my life is a nightmare and I don’t want to carry on. Steve left 2 young children (2 1/2 and 5 months old) and my daughter had two about the same age, they are I believe our saviours x I send my love and best wishes to all xx
I am so sorry for ur loss. Welcome to our community.
Bereaved parents is not a club u choose or want to be part of. For whatever reason we r the ones who have lost our children. U r very early in ur grief journey. Try not to hide 2 much how sever ur grief is. It is a natural series of emotions that come in waves. Often our other children take queues from us and u have to let them know that it is normal to feel they way u all do. We have all felt at different times that we can’t go on. But u wake up another day and there is something positive and that helps that day. I am almost 11 yrs since i lost my son and i still have those days where i dont want to go on, can’t get out of bed, get stuck in where would he be in his life now as he was 18 when he passed. My other children have bought houses, got married, had children etc. What would his life have been? The grief for a life not lived, my hopes and dreams for him since pregnancy all gone, never cuddling his children. A whole life gone. The only way is moving forward. Do what feels right for u. If u need to cry in bed all day don’t feel guilty. Try and do something kind to yourself on those hard days. self kind is not selfish. There r many of us on here who help each other get thru the tough days.
Love and hugs
Pauline x
Trust me I know what you feeling mate as I lost my 40 year old son to suicide last Sunday it’s the worst pain ever, there’s lots on here that are/have been through this hart ache
Thank you for your words of advice, it’s good to know someone is listening. I dread the nights as I know I will wake up panicking , losing my breath, crying, seeing awful images of Steve struggling & remembering that less than a year ago life was so normal.
Why is life so cruel, what did we do to deserve this, as everyone says, I’d give my life to swop places with my son, he had everything to live for x
Hi im sorry u have found yourself on this website. Its so very heartbreaking. So very sad for the loss of your beautiful son.like pauline says no time you are in great shock right now.its trauma just take baby steps just do what you feel .its a very lonely road if it wasnt for this site .theres lovely people here who know how your feeling .everyone grieves differently. Just dont be hard on yourself.
I lost my sam from cancer he was 24 lasted four months from the day we found out died 27 April 2021. It feels like yesterday .life is wicked its not fair why our beautiful children so so sorry for your loss we always here big hugs zoe xxx
Thank you Zoe and am so sorry you lost your beautiful son too. 4 months, even worse and younger too. My heart goes out to you and I hope one day we can at least make sense of this cruelty and this pain and hurt eases x
My friend it is a terrible time for you and your family. The early days are so hard. The pain so physical as well as the mental anguish we feel. We lost our younger daughter 3 and a half years ago aged 31. She left behind her wonderful partner and her beautuful wee daughter then just 3 and a half.
Brooke is now 7 and a happy little girl. Her Dad is amazing and she keeps us all going.
Its a path none of us here expected to walk but here we are.
Keep posting, this site is the best place to share our pain and learn how to deal with grief first hand. Nobody else really knows how bad this feels.
Dear Friend,
We are all so deeply sorry for the loss of your precious Son, you are amongst many friends now and we are here for you , we are the only ones who truly know how you feel and are always here for you and each other , dont expect too much of yourself its such early days so be kind to yourself our son passed away 3 and half years ago and it only seems like weeks, we have to keep going for the love of our other children, our daughters are both 22 now which was how old Matt was when he passed, if it wasnt for them i dont think i woukd be here, you have your daughter, grandchildren and daughter-in-law who all need you so much, you become the worlds bests actor and somehow you get through each day, but you must have your private time to break down and cry scream into your pillow or go for a long walk to clear your head. I promise it will get better and you will eventually have good days but the old you and the life you had will never be the same, you have a different life now, you precious boy is safely tucked inside your heart pocket and will be with you always
Sending you much love Michelle xxxx
Hello feuding reallyblow at the moment and I cannot bring myself to read your post I have read a couple and it’s made me fell really down , I know that’s sounds awful . Sarah hopefullully having her second chemo on Tuesday she has been to hospital for her bloods today . . At the moment I am quietly falling to pieces , John is bottling up , like men Dion. I look I wreck , but I don’t care , what’s the point anyway . I wish I could be strong like Sarah . Love Maddie xxx
Oh Maddie, you are going through an awful ordeal. No flipping wonder you feel so low. The worry and stress alone will be taking its tole. Its good you felt able to share though. You helped me so much at the start of my journey. Like John, Alan bottles it all up and then suddenly he’s in tears.
Such a worry for you all just now.
Will be thinking of you and sending love and support.
Dear Maddie,
I know exactly what you mean, sometimes when you feel so low you dont have the strength to read or take on any one elses pain, i sometimes read new posts and find it heartbreaking and it makes you feel even worse and puts you off saying how you are feeling, Maddie there is enough of us on this site that are able to lift others and at this moment in time you are going through such an awful time worrying about Sarah having already lost your precious Dawn, my friend dont come on this site to lift anyine else, come on and share how you feel as we are all here for you just has you have been there for so many orhers, heres a big hug for you and much love thinking and praying for Sarah take care, Michelle xxxx
Thankyou Kate , , it’s nice to know I can go on this site and you all understand , but their are are some people even in the family that know and can’t call us , it’s just like grieving , the ones who you would think would be there for you are not. Jack , our Grandson came yesterday with his lovely girlfriend , and he was being so possitive , I have just text his girlfriend and ask her if Jack is pin, and she said yes he is being positive . , so I know I must be . So why is it John and myself , are awake untill early hours of the morning awake with worry. Take care Kate it’s a really hard , seeing our children suffer . Sending love Maddie xxx
Oh Maddie I know this is so hard for you but it will pass. It must be so difficult to stay strong going through everything and I am sure it all brings up bad memories for you.
Bill bottles everything up too and that sometimes upsets me. I think they feel just as sad as us but feel that they need to appear strong. Sarah is being amazing and you must be so proud of her. I’ll message you
Thankyou Victoria , yes men are different ,?they cope with things in their own way , . It just al seems like a very bad dream at the moment , how can this possibly happen to Sarah , she has always looked after herself . But I am sure Dawn is looking down on her , as we have had quite a few Robins xxx
Thankyou Michelle for your kinds words . We are all on this site for the most horrendous loses . None of us wanted to be here , but I know all of you are truly the only ones to bring comfort to each other . With love Maddie xxx
our son passed away 3 and half years ago and it only seems like weeks, we have to keep going for the love of our other children, our daughters are both 22 now which was how old Matt was when he passed, if it wasnt for them i dont think i woukd be here, you have your daughter, grandchildren and daughter-in-law who all need you so much, you become the worlds bests actor and somehow you get through each day, but you must have your private time to break down and cry scream into your pillow or go for a long walk to clear your head. I promise it will get better and you will eventually have good days but the old you and the life you had will never be the same, you have a different life now, you precious boy is safely tucked inside your heart pocket and will be with you always 
for you and much love 