Give yourself a chance to breathe. U have been so stong and will be again. Sarah and all the family will need u. So find some quiet time and use a meditation app. It really helps me calm my mind and body. I use smiling mind. Its totally free. Nice aussie accent to listen to and short sessions many less than 10 mins. Even having the strength to post is great. U r reaching out for our help. We r all here for u. Men always bottle it up. Please try the meditation as it really helps with my panic and anxiety attacks. I wish all ur family the very best of luck for Sarahās recovery.
Thankyou Pauline , I wish I could relax , somewhere down the line I will need something as itās still early days for Sarah Tuesday hopefully will be her 2nd chemo . I have been very weepy today , as I feel so sorry as she and her husband had so much to look forward to as they are both 50 this year , they had 4 holidays to look forward to , and she said she has cancelled all today Take care Maddie xxx
Hi Maddie - just to say I am thinking of you and your family. All you can do is keep on keeping on and get through an hour at a time. Iām sending you all good thoughts and support. Xxx
Hi beautiful maddie
So sorry your hurting so bad .so sorry sarah is going through this ordeal.she seems very positive. Sending you lots of strengh and love .This life throws so much at us .its hard to take it all in.
When sam was so ill and my jess got the tumor in her mouth .you think its not possible to take anymore pain.but we do .my thoughts and best wishes are with you .things will get better much love zoe
Thankyou Zoe , for your beautiful words , itās nice to know I have so many dear friends on this site . Sarah is having her 2 nd chemo as we speak . She had her bloods tested yesterday and all her organs are coping well . The consultant showed her the ex ray of her tumor that they groom at the beginning . And she was shocked at the size of it . But they are confident That the treatment will work . Oh Zoe itās so awful what you and family have gone through . All I can think about is Sarah , Iāve think I aged 10 years in the last few weeks Take care my dear friend . With love Maddie xxxx
Just a note to say i am thinking of ur whole family today as Sarah has her next round of chemo. Wishing u all the very best of luck for a good outcome.
Love and hugs
Pauline x
I am thinking of you and John I have text you a couple of times, please stay strong for Sarah but also for John, you shouldnāt be having to cope with this as well, life is so unfair.
Thankyou Helen, trying time stay strong for Sarah , but itās so bloody hard . But she is doing good so far . She had a blast of radiation today , and while she was there an old friend who she used to go to school with , turned out to be a Macmillan nurse , and she found out things she didnāt know . With love Maddie xxx
Hi all I am drinkinking myself into I donāt care anymore . The friends I thought I had , arnt there anymore . I think I am so depressing people donāt want to know me . And tell younwhats the point . I must be a bad mother to have lost my Darling Dawn . And now Sarah after 2 treatments has got to shave her hair off as itās coming out big time . I know I am feeling sorry for myself . But how to I cope with Sarah , what she is going through , Maddie xxxx
You have absolutely every right to feel sorry for yourself, you must feel like every time you try to pick yourself up you get knocked down again. You are a loving kind woman doing your very best in really painful situation. You are exhausted with worry. Sending you love. Easy to say but hard to do, be kind to yourself. Xxxxx
Hi Maddie so sorry you are feeling so low sometimes the friends you thought you had disappear I had a close friend for 16 yrs and then I met my partner and moved away she didnāt want to know. Which really upset me then I lost Leah she said she d be there for me but didnāt even ask how I was or how . feeling. I hope your girl gets sorted out love. Donāt be so hard on yourself. Take care shellyanne XX
Nell is right , Maddie. You are a very loving, kind person and I am so grateful for your friendship. I canāt imagine how hard it is for you to see Sarah go through her illness.
If you are not sleeping you will struggle and itās then difficult to sleep. Good friends will always stick by you and we have your back here. All my love to you both xxx
I am so sorry u r feeling so low. Please give urself a break, if that means a few drinks so be it. We have all been that low. U r dealing with the hardest thing u could ever have. All ready having lost ur beautiful Dawn, u know what could be coming for Sarah. We r all here for u. All our loved ones we have lost will be watching over Sarah with Dawn being first. Please try to keep hoping for a good outcome. My thoughts r with u and all ur family and friends.
Oh Maddie! Iām so so sorry! Already having to cope with your Dawnās loss and now having to watch poor Sarah go through chemo! Yes this stinks big time! Donāt worry about the wine!! Thinking of you!!!
5 years ago today I lost my darling girl. All the memories come flooding back ā¦ getting her email, desperately searching for her, police helicopters, tracker dogs and then they found her ā¦ too late. The policemen wouldnāt let me know they had found her and bundled me into a police car. They just said that I had to leave and could not stay there. As they pushed me in the car, I looked up and a pure white bird soared high out of the trees. I said to to the policemen āthatās my Gemmaā. Sheās goneā.
I just knew
