Dear All,
It will be 4 years on 5th May since my lovely Matt was taken, i remember me and my husband watching “Afterlife” and i laughed at one bit i can’t remember which bit but i had a really belly laugh and it was the first time i had properly laughed since loosing Matt, i remember feeling guilty, now when watch things we laugh and say Matt would have loved this and i know he is with us watching it, after the loss of Matt i developed type 1 diabetes its caled LADA diabetes and i know this was brought on by grief, i have struggled to control it also drank too much wine and have said i dont really care what happens too me, but of late i feel i have turned a corner and have started taking better care of myself, i am enjoying things that i never thought i would again, im not sure when it happened but its all part of the journey we have to go through but believe us Zoe you will get there eventually 
i still think of Matt every hour of the day but i know he would want me to stay well and be there for my daughters for when they one day have children and will need me to still be around to help them, sending you all my love from Michelle xxxx
Oh Michelle I am sorry you have been through so much with your darling boy Matt . Our lives changed so much when we lost our beautiful children . I know what you mean about the drinking . When I lost Sawn it got bad , . And aventusllyni controlled it . But with Sarah with her cancer , and her pain of a husband I started again big time . I wasn’t going on this site again as I thought the friends I had in hear . Have let me down . But I will be thinking of you on Matts anniversary . With love Maddie xx
Hi maddie what do you mean your friends on here have let you down you are Lways in my thoughts and im sure everyone elses .i hope your trying to be as strong as you can love zoe xx
Thank you michelle i hope that time heals a bit more its so hard sams birthday on sunday .bless him . He would be 27 . .me and Terry have gone to Canterbury for a few days to a lodge with our dog milo . Ive bought sams cuddly dog with me and his pictures hope hes here with us . Im glad u feel better . And yes matts always with you much love zoe
Hi Zoe , wasn’t meant for everyone hear .
Just feel a bit bitter . With people that i i thought we’re friends when I was feeling at my lowest . Let us down so why bother to come on hear to get comfort . Love to you Zoe xx
Dear Michelle, I am glad you are starting to turn a corner and you are right … Matt would want you to be there for your girls too. It is very hard at times as we are not just dealing with our own grief but that of others who we love too. It is exhausting at times but you have been so amazing.
I remember the graduation photos you posted of your beautiful girls and you should be so proud. I know you talk to Matt and I think that helps to keep them with us.
Sending you much love and the biggest of hugs xxx
Drar Maddie,
I totally understand you still needing to have a drink, you have been through so much with the loss of your beloved Dawn and now Sarah being ill, i would have to have a drink too, you are often in my thoughts even though we dont post on here all the time please know we are your friends and im sorry you feel let down, sending you much love Michelle xxxx
Dear Maddie, I am so sorry you feel let down too and as Michelle said, no one would blame you for having a few drinks. I think most of us have done that. Let us know how we can help as we are all here for you. Much love to you and John 
Dear Victoria,
You have inspired me so much i know you have had to be so strong for your precious grandchildren, thank you for your kind words about the girl’s they have done so well, and i am so proud of them, i realised that just saying im only here because of them wasn’t good enough i need to look after myself so they know i will akways be there for them, we still receive so many signs from Matt as do his friends, like you said keeping them current and including them in all we do really does help, sending you all my love Michelle xxxx
Dear Maddie…I do feel for you and not surprised that you are drinking to try and ease the pain that you are going through we all have and would do the same. I did wonder where you were when we didn’t didn’t hear from you so it’s good to have you back, Take care of yourself.
With love Marina xx
Hi all been to canterbury for a few days my beautiful sam would be 27 on sunday the 12th march second birthday without him .dont seem possible .feels like yesterday. Thank you all for your kindness and support .miss my boy so much .the pain is still immense im trying to live a life but so very hard much love zoe
Zoe darling, these birthdays and anniversaries are so hard.
It is hard all the time but these dates in particular are worse.
We will be 4 years in July since our beautiful girl closed her eyes on this world. I still have to catch my breath when the whole awful magnitude of what has happened to us hits me again and again. Yesterday, in a cafe i was sitting behind a lady who used to rent the other part of Lisas premises. Lisa had done the flowers for both her childrens weddings. Anyway this lady turned round as she recognised my voice. Then went on to explain to her companion about Lisa. I was really struggling to hold it together she explained how long Lisa was on life support! Omg! Omg! I know she meant well but it crucified me. I could barely swallow my food. These times just push us back even when we think wr have moved forward a bit.
Zoe, your beautiful boy will always live on in your hearts . He meant so much to you all.
Sending love and hugs .
Kate xx
Dearest Zoe , I will be thinking of you on Sams birthday . I am sorry I have been a pain to everyone . But so struggling with Sarah . And now my husband John has not been well x But hope you get through the day with your lovely family . Yes Kate , it doesn’t take much , to take us back to square one . With love Maddie xxx
Hello all you dear people.
I haven’t been here for a long time, even though I often think of you - you are so kind, caring, loving, you mean more than so many ‘personal’ friends.
Your loving support meant so much to me when my darling daughter Katherine passed, exactly one year ago today.
I came to know so many of your stories, felt close to you - Sue, Kate, Zoe, Victoria, Michelle, Maddie, Helen, Nell, Kath, Purple, Jim. And those I haven’t named because I’m tired and not thinking so clearly. And now there are, sadly, new people needing love and support, but you will be there fot them.
Thank you again for being there for me.
Love and hugs Ann
Dear Zoe,
You are in my thoughts as you approach Sam’s birthday, Sam will help to get you through, when the sun shines on your back even on a cold day you will feel warnth as this is a loving hug from Sam, the birdsong is them letting us know they are with us always
Kate you are so right its like you sometimes we think im doing ok then bang out of no where someone says something or a memory comes to you and it takes you right back, this journey is indeed lifelong but at least we have each other to help us through
Maddie i can really understand how you feel you are back to square one, with all you are going through worrying about Sarah and now John, sending you a big hug 
and much love
Michelle xxxx
Dear Ann,
Lovely to hear from you, i always worry when we dont hear from friends for a while, sometimes we dont always feel up to posting anything but manage to read the posts and even that helps us, as we can relate to each other, when you feel upto it let us know how you’ve been, in the meantime sending you and everyone on here lots of love and gentle hugs
Michelle xxxx
Sending love and hugs to you today. Tough one for you but you will get through.
Lots and lots of love, Kate xxx
Dear Ann, so lovely to hear from you. I hope you managed to get through the day yesterday. The anniversaries can be so hard and hope you had people around you. I remember how you told us that Katherine got married in the hospice and I can’t imagine how sad that day must have been for you all. I hope you and the rest of your family are managing to get through. Much love to you xxx
I am thinking of you. Thank you for all the many times you helped me. I am so glad that this place exists. It kept me keeping on when I thought I couldn’t… Here we are still keeping on keeping on together with others who really understand. It’s a blessing. It’s a bond we all share. Big hugs xxxxx
Dear kate thank you so much your kindness means alot .this feeling of wanting will always be there ive been a wreck the last two days .but will try .i ordered some balloons and cake and we will have a drink for sam to celebrate his 27 th birthday love him .big hugs to you kate