Hi Zoe,
How handsome Sam is! Of course you will miss him always! But you can be grateful you had him in your life! None of us grieving parents would rather never have suffered our children’s loss in exchange for never having had them in our lives! They will always always be in our hearts and in our lives!
Happy birthday Sam! 
They are beautiful indeed. We must count our blessings.
Hugs, Ann x
Wow…you make me feel like an incredibly lazy person. …which to be honest…I am!
I hope you’re soon up and about again…you seem to be an amazing person and very inspirational Annemarie and your son Joey obviously took after you.
I seem to have gained so many friends since losing Andrew…many of his friends are now mine. I now have regular coffee mornings (or afternoons) with my neighbour across the road who lost her daughter last year too and also with a friend I’d lost touch with. I’m so lucky I have my family to talk to and reminisce about Andrews life…I’m where I am now thanks to all the amazing support from everyone…including all of you on Sue Ryder site.
I feel sure Andrew is still here with me…bringing me peace and comfort and occasionally amazing good luck!
Sorry to run on again…I really hope everyone gets to feel this inner calm soon on their bereavement journey…it kind of creeps up on you and then it’s just there!
Love to you all…Sue xxx
Thank you kate
Thank you jss i always think of you . We’ve celerbrated sams life throughout the weekend we let of chibes lanterns and had a drink at my daughters .ended up singing in the kitchen .sam would of loved that .today my jess made a roast we had a balloon release and birthday cake . All crazy really .feel drained .but we did it . Big hugs.
Thanking everyone for there lovely words of support and there kind wishes .would be lost without you all much love zoe
Dear Zoe, I was thinking of you today. Well done for celebrating Sam’s life so beautifully. xxx
Thank you victoria hope your ok
Dear friends. Well, i just had a monumental meltdown. Put of the blue, came from cyberspace! I really don’t know what happened but there it was. Me looking out of the window, wondering if the forecast for snow was anything like correct, when the tears poured down mt cheeks. I remembered the run up to Mothers day, working with Lisa in the shop. The entire premises being packed with flowers. My fingers bleeding with preparing them for the weekend ahead. 11 hour days for me as delivery driver, seeing Lisa in tears with utter exhaustion then euphoria when she saw her takings.
Its just life isnt it? Times of utter dispair followed by highs.
Its so hard this coming Sunday for all of us. I just thought today that those Mothers days when i was working with Lisa were a precious gift . I didn’t know it at the time but that time was indeed a precious gift to me. The hard work and the way we worked together was so special.
There are so many things, times in fact we can be very thankful for.
Love to all of you.
Kate xx
Oh bless you kate. Its mad how these things catch us. Bet you had fun too that beautiful smell of flowers .working with your lovely lisa .mothers day there is another one for all of us .this grief is a roller coaster ride sending you a big hug take care zoe xx
Dear Kate,
I’m so sorry you’ve been feeling so sad and had such a meltdown! They come out of nowhere, don’t they, when we least expect them. I didn’t know Mother’s Day was this Sunday in the UK. In Switzerland (and the rest of Europe, I think), it’s in May. Definitely a sad time! We think we’ll always be there for our children and then the world turns upside down. I hope you manage to think of the good times with your Lisa - the lovely bond you so clearly had with each other.
I’ve been reading WhatsApp messages I shared with Joey and looking at pictures of him. Tears are never far away. Last week was so much better.
Thinking of you - many hugs!! 
Annemarie
Oh Kate,
Yes I know exactly how you feel, I almost had a meltdown earlier when talking to John about Sam and the sporting dinners he would organise down at Longwell Green FC that Sam and his friend Jason ame to, because John now does a GoldCup day down at the local football club to raise money for them and I know Sam would so enjoy that and the tears started to flow!!
We are a;; here together and for one another
Love to you Kate
Love Helen
Dear Annemarie,
Sorry to hear about your accident and i hope you are making a good recovery, i have been told about visiting the Grief room and i feel this is what i do too, like you my Matt is the first thought i have in the morning and the last one at night, aswell as popping my head round the door of the grief room many times in the day but not for as long as i did in the early days, you must be so proud of Joey and all he has done to help others and i look forward to reading your book, i also would like to write a book when i feel ready in honour of my wonderful son, its so important for their memories to live on and it means so much when others do special things to remember them 
Victoria told us about Continuing Grief Bonds this is something i practice daily by keeping Matt in the present including our children in everything we do as a family, like Zoe did for Sam celebrating his Birthday with the family doing lovely things in their memory and celebrating their life
Sending much love to you and all the lovely parents on this site
Michelle xxxx
Dear kate,
Sorry to hear about your meltdown, its so hard this time of year not just Morhers day but i know like me its coming upto to 4 years since we lost our precious children, Matt was last home on the 27th February, he then flew out with the Army to Malawi to take part in the anti poaching operation helping to train the African rangers , he would send many photos and messages right up until his passing on the 5th May, im really struggling at the moment i have a feeling of impending doom, me and hubbie are going to St Ives on Saturday for a week for a much needed break, sending you a big hug 
and much love my friend xxxx
Thankyou Michelle. Yes its hard for us all just now. Jemma and I are taking Brooke to Tenerife on 31st. Really looking forward to spending time with them both and feeling some warm sunshine.
Hope you have a lovely time in St.Ives. i think just a change of scene helps us cope with our grief. Doing something different.
Love to you Michelle.
Kate xxxx
Thanks Helen. So pleased to have met you and John and your lovely friends. Take care dear Helen.
Lots of love, Kate xx
Annemarie thankyou for your kind words. I too read Lisa’s WhatsApp messages but then i come to the last few and they break my heart. We did have a strong bond as i do with Jemma but i spent so much time with Lisa, not just working but hospital check ups and the upset from those. Sobbing and holding each other in the car after a bad one. Jemma misses her sister terribly and we will be missing her on our holiday but she will be with us in our hearts for sure.
Much love to you.
Kate xx
Dear all, I am reading through all your messages and it struck me how far we have all come. We have just been away too and there was a time when I could not even step out of my front door, let alone go on holiday. Of course we all have our bad days and always will … how could we not after what we have all been through? I describe my life now as ‘living with an undercurrent of grief’, but 5 years ago I would never have thought I would get to this stage.
I know there will always be bad times but I feel as if I have learned how to get through the best way I can. And of course I always take my Gemma with me. Somebody here described it beautifully as ‘tucking them safely in my heart. Sending love to you all 
Hi all,
Yes, I was away too for a week in the Alps and it was the best week since my son Joey died. He was with us every minute!!! But now I’m home and feeling miserable again as yesterday it was only 5 months since he died - not a year or two or three. I’m feeling guilty that I smiled and laughed with Kevin & Andreas. My family and friends tell me Joey would have wanted me to go on, and I know that. But at the same time I feel guilty for ‘blunting’ my grief with antidepressants and sleeping pills. My grief counsellor says this isn’t reasonable but still I feel it. I miss my boy so much! The nights are the worst.
Hugs, Annemarie
Dear Annemarie,
It is such early days for you and I think you are being amazing. I know those guilt feelings very well. Gemma and I had a very similar taste in clothes. A few weeks ago I bought a new dress and as I was paying for it I suddenly thought ‘Gemma can never buy a new dress or wear something lovely again’ and I could not stop the tears flowing. But those times are not nearly so frequent now. Joey would not want you to hide away and not meet up with friends. But I understand how hard it is for you. Sending you a big hug xxx
