Dear soul. My heart breaks for you. My older sister lost her husband in 2021. He had been unwell for some time. She looked after him at home, nearly damn killed her though. He kept falling and she would wrestle him up again. She is in her 80’s a lot older than me. They had been married 62 years and been together 5years before they married.
She is lonely too. We live 6 hours away from her but she does have one of her daughters and grandchildren nearby.
I do miss her so much and am very aware of her loneliness.
Life can be so cruel can’t it?
Sending love and hugs.xx
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Hi all ive not been on for a bit .ive been ill with covid then got infection this is eight weeks they say i might have long covid .jokes but eh oh .
Im so sorry for the new people on here youve come to the right place this site so many of us .broken hearted with the loss of our babies.lost my son sam to cancer he lasted four months he was 24 when told .its two years on thursday it feels like yesterday.miss him every minute of the day.and like pauline said people dont talk its some times like they dismiss him because they dont know what to say. He passed on my mums birthday 26th april i hope she was waiting for him. Love to all on this mountain we climb would be lost without you all .sorry im gloomy i need a sam hug .i need to talk to him smell him .why do these things happen big hugs zoe 
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Hi maddie great news about sarah ,you can breath again. Im sorry that its all gone a bit wrong but im sure in time it will sort itself .sending you much love maddie,
Reading back my post sam past 27th april 2021 .not 26 .xx
I honestly feel others forgotten our child even existed nobody ever mentions his name 20 years on I still and always will live with my pain the fact iv now lost my husband too makes life even a bigger challenge and 19 months only nobody asks how iam coping iv got a sister whom dose show concern she worries she may upset me at a time I can’t take anymore but I do know she’s there for me she always plays her happy big family down for my benefit that’s kind yet some brag on what they’ve got so hurt full iv cried all morning then forced myself to do gardening but I just feel numb no joy out of it my husband and I would be in garden together sharing a joke or feelings he truly was so compassionate to me now iam all alone no future just existence going through the motions of daily life waiting for evening to come to go to bed only to face another painful day my heart goes out to you and all mothers on here and widows since they lost there child life is so cruel big heartfelt hugs:broken_heart:
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Oh rosebush im so sorry for your pain .grief is so painful .and for a child to go before there parents is not the right order .so sorry you have now lost your partner its so sad your with this person throughout your life and one of you leaves. My dad died at 72 my mum was 64 . It made her a lost soul . People say you have to do things to make yourself happy buts its so hard you must get lonely . Potter in the garden it gives you a sense of achievement. Always here to chat big hugs zoe
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Thank you zoe for your loss of sam and like our son so so young no it’s not the order of life my husband to cancer to these days leading up to his birthday will be unimaginable pain I will be thinking on you Thursday bless you 
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Hi Rosebush
I am so sorry for u losses. It is the worst when nobody acknowledges ur child or whoever u have lost. I think they either don’t want to upset u or worry about how to react if u get upset. It leaves a blank hole in any conversation. It leaves an even bigger hole in ur heart where u can’t manage to express those feelings.
Keep posting
Love and hugs
Pauline x
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Ho Pauline yes my world crumbled around me I honestly couldn’t stand the feeling I was having it’s like been tortured I’d say it took about 15 years before I could spend a day without crying to point I was told I must enjoy the suffering otherwise I’d let it go those most hurtful words stuck with me and now when I was beginning to laugh again back crying all the time my husband also died I do ask why you take best care you can 
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It is so very hard losing a precious child. We would do anything to keep them safe but it’s not always possible. In the early days it is hard to keep going and you feel as though you are going mad. I think we have all experienced that horror.
I lost Gemma five years ago and can’t believe how much time has passed. I would never have believed how I live my life now. I think of Gems every minute of every day but can now find pleasure in life too. I still have bad times but am able to get over them so much faster. I talk to her and carry her with me always xxx
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Hi Victoria yes that’s so true we do feel like we’re going crazy loosing our precious child has had an enormous affect on me 20 years I ask myself how did I get from there to hear I guess with my husband’s support now he’s gone too I do ask Why Why me again so much unimaginable grief things I started to find pleasure in has once again been taken from me I just cry all the time we’ll most of it I feel iv no place of belonging anymore the loneliness really dose get to me it feels like nobody cares I spent a night in our hospital few days ago nobody knows as had no calls they all have there life’s and happily live them without a thought of how I am doing oh yes I know I’ll get a call maybe today or tomorrow who knows but it leaves me feeling so isolated I can say my husband would be so very disappointed in them when he was alive my phone often rang that’s over past 5 years or so when I’d be ok I’d found joy through my darkest days now iam backin those dark days again but alone I don’t have a choice but keep going in best way possible big hugs💔
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Hi all dear friends. Its awful when you are suddenly transported back to ground zero as happened to me yesterday. I had a recall on my car and took it up to the dealership. I had a good morning as the garage gave me a lift into town, so shopped a little, went to a cafe and then phoned to be picked up. Back at the dealership my car wasn’t ready so i sat and was reading a newspaper when a voice i recognised appeoached. ‘Hi Kate, long time no see’
This was Charlie, a lovely guy who worked for many years at the Land rover dealership and over the course of 30 years sourced and sold us 3 of them.
Anyway we were just chatting whennif course he asked ‘hows the family?’
So there it was! I had to tell him about Lisa, what she’d been through etc etc, the tears were pouring down his face as were mine. It just jumps out at us and knocks us back so hard. I drove home crying most of the way. Times like this are so exhausting. I fell asleep in the chair in the afternoon, just wiped out by this.
I know that everyone of you has felt this way. There is no escape.
Love to all, Kate xx
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very very true Kate, it takes us back, different I know because Max is my elder son’s labrador he’s 13 now and cannot get up properly even to go to wee etc, so yesterday Ger told me he was taking him to the vet to be put to sleep so I went up to see Max to give him a cuddle it broke my heart he’s a part of the family and like you Kate I got very upset even though he’s only a dog and people will say, it’s only a dog but you get attached.
Love Helen
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Dear friends old and new,
I have been catching up on all your recent posts, i am deeply sorry for our new friends who have now joined, i can imagine how proud you must have been of your daughter completing the Marathon in memory of your beloved son 
, i am so glad you are managing to take comfort from your daughter and precious grandchildren 
My heart breaks for you Rosebush you are doing so well by coming on here and sharing with others who know how you feel, when you can find the strength go in your garden and do it for your son and your husband who are together willing you on, when you feel the warm heat of the sun on your back this is them hugging you, sending you love and strength to carry on my friend 
xx
Maddie am so pleased that Sarah has got the all clear, now you need to look after yourself and John, just leave things for a while and she will come round, sending you much love xx
Sending all my love to all the lovely friends on this site, we have come a long way together on the 5th May it will be 4 years since Matt passed and i do find this hard to grasp and like you say kate sometimes something can just take you back to the start of this awful journey and completely flaw you but tomorrow is another day and we can only pray it will be kinder, i am managing to enjoy things that i once thought i never would am not sure when this started but like you say Victoria our children are always with us and we carry them forever in our heart pockets love to all Michelle xxxx
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So sad for your grandson Helen. It is heartbraking when we lose a much loved pet. I was devastated when we lost our Brackla last August. She was 13 and 2 months. She developed a tumor in her head and was gone in 7 weeks but thankfully was not in any pain.
Lots of hugs needed from Granny Helen i think.
Much love, Kate xx
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Apologies Helen, i misread your message and thought Max was your grandson! Sorry. Glad you got to say goodbye.
Our Brackla came and sat in front of me about half an hour before taking her to the vet. She just put her paw in my hand and looked lovingly into my eyes.
It was like she was saying ‘thankyou Mum for loving me so much but i have to leave soon’ Bless her heart. Buried in iur garden with our other much loved dog’s.
Kate xxx
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Yes Kate, I totally understand what you mean. I haven’t posted in a while but it’s been 18 months since my Theo past and lately I have been dreaming about him and it has triggered my sadness along with the change of the season. I’ can be going a long well and out of the blue grief will hit me hard. Peace be with you💗
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Thank you for giving me a glimmer of hope, I am 4 months in and finding life so so tough xx
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It is tough my darling, really horrendously tough. We dont know how we move forward but somehow we do. We need enjoy the time we are given ti live the best we can as our children would want us to. Its the biggest test of strength any parent can go through. We live but a different life. We will always carry our sadness within. My friend said to me recently that my eyes show sadness beyond my smile. Its so true.
Sending you love and hope and peace.
Kate xxx
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Dear All
I find my biggest triggers of the grief slap in the face is music. It took a long time to have the radio on in the car. Now as it is almost 11 years since my son passed at 18 yrs old the songs will still upset me and cause the tears but in an odd way they r happy and sad tears. New music i can listen to and think he would have liked that song. With that comes all the thoughts of where would he be now, bought a house, wife, children? I am sure we all have these feelings.
Love and hugs
Pauline x
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