The sentiments you mention regarding time passing is so true and like you and Victoria I too talk to Sam all the time, this December 9th will be 7 years and yet as you say it seems to get harder to bear but inside, outside to the rest of the World I seem OK it is only when I sit and talk to Sam I realise just how much I miss him and his cheeky smile. I have to go to his best friend Jason’s wedding on the 15th July, and I know without a shred of doubt Jason would not even be with her if Sam was still around, they would be off doing something going somewhere. Danny and Emma his other friends who also know Jason so well told me, nobody seems sure of Georgia and what to make of her, I know when I talk out loud here to Sam I talk about Jason and Georgia and straight away comes No. I too like you fear that Sam will fade from his friends memories and like you I owe it to him to talk about him. I am able to talk about him to Sally and Janice Dee and Sue and they also bring him into the conversation so easily.
Love to you all on this harrowing journey
Love Helen
Dearest Helen. How much i remember our lovely time together. You have been my rock as have other friends here. Nobody understands as we all do.
Tomorrow is the start of the change of the rest of our lives. A phone call from Jemma saying, Mum, Dad, its not lookong good. There maybe hope if they can persuade Aberdeen to come for Lisa and transport het on ECMO. They did, thankfully and she was taken to ARI on 1st June. I booked a hotel for Jemma and Jamie and headed over on 2nd with Brooke. I was so terrified on the journey i thought i would be sick on the car. Having arrived safely, Jamie ran out to the car to hug his baby girl. Bless his beautiful soul.
Jemma took me to the hospital and tbh, nothing could have prepared me for the shock of seeing my child . The image will never leave me. She was so bloated with fluids infused, bleeding lips from the intubation tube, bulging eyes. I honestly thought i would die that night. My poor baby, how she had come to this
It wad just the beginning of 8 weeks of hopes and hopes dashed. My heart will never mend, as we all know how that feels. We just do the best we can.
Love to you all dear friends. You are alwsys here and i really need that.
Kate xxxx
This horrible journey .so cruel i also want to thank you all i couldnt get through some days without you. We all miss our children more than any words. Big hugs zoe
Hi Helen,
We are lucky our sons friends still include us and stay in touch and i pray this carries on, like you we are going to one of Matt’s best friend’s wedding later in the year which will be nice but also bitter sweet as its another reminder of what could have been for our precious boys, we will never stop missing ou children but im sure they are proud of us and one thing is for sure they will always be with us safely tucked in our heart pockets
Much love to you Helen
Michelle xxxx
Dear Kate,
Im so sorry you are now doing what ive just done and reliving all those days leading upto that awful day i think this is the new norm for us and we will do this every year, its all part of our journey now, i think we need to do it to be honest, i know its almost 4 years for you too and you will be thinking that it seems like no time at all, you will have some bad days coming up with heartbreaking memories, you will also be feeling so very proud of your beautiful Lisa, as she was so brave and always worrying about all of you, its your time now kate to reach out and let us all give you our love and virtual hugs sending much love to you my friend,
Michelle xxxx
Thank you dear Michelle. Yes its that awful time again. The horrible images keeping me awake now. It will pass, i know, but as you say we have to do this.
Brooke’s school holidays start at the end of June so i will be kept busy with her for seven weeks. Heading to Edinburgh the first week to stay with Jemma. She will stay for 2 weeks but i have to return home after 3 days due to cottage changeovers. It will be a nice break though.
Thankyou all for your kind words.
Love to you.
Kate xx
Hi all,
Hope everyone is doing ok and managing to enjoy this lovely weather, being outside amongst nature really does help to lift your mood especially when we get little signs from our precious children , The 6th of June was 4 years ago since Matt’s funeral, i took lots of colourful tulips to the Cemetery, you feel all these anniversaries with such pain, i can say that to all of you as you know what i mean and dont judge, i can say to my immediate family its 4 years since Matt’s funeral but dont feel as able to say anything to anyone else but feel the need to say it out loud, this is why i am so glad i can come on this site and never worry about sharing these memories or being judged, much love to you all Michelle xxxx
Yes dear Michelle, we just need to say things we are feeling out loud.
We have a new puppy and i was sitting on the top step of our front door watching playing with a stick. Suddenly i sobbing my heartbout. I just missed Lisa so much. In 2018 when we got our young lab, she was over like a shot to see him. So many memories!
Dear Michelle and Kate, it is hard to say things out loud sometimes. We can talk freely about our other children and it feels very sad. But on here I feel that I can say anything and no one minds or feels awkward. It means the world to me.
Michelle, you have made Matt’s resting place so beautiful … sometimes it feels as though that is the only thing we can do for our beloved children now. He will be so proud.
Kate, how lovely to have a new puppy yet I can understand how you felt such a sadness about Lisa being here to see him. You will have years of love and fun with him and I am sure that Lisa is looking down on him too.
Much love to you all xxx
Dear friends. Well, its just that time of the year. Tears some days but not so often now. I guess having our wee pup is helping through these difficult weeks. He is such a joy but finding the very high temperatures a bit much bless him.
He is a great comfort as he will cone and sit on the tiled floor of our front porch. 5 steps up from the drive. Lord of all he surveys and i sit on a cushion beside him. He puts his wee head on my leg to be stoked and its such a comfort. This little soul, so dependent on us fir his survival. Bless him for bringing us comfort in these difficult weeks.xx
Oh Kate he is adorable , I sure he will
bring you a little happiness in the painful few weeks ahead . Michelle , Matts resting place is so beautiful , you must feel him so close when you visit . Chris I can relate to Busy . It deffinatly takes over my mind . Just got back from
Greece , it was such a welcome break after the last 4 horrendous months . It did start texting Sarah and Aimee before we went away as I didn’t want to go with the awful situation of not talking . And she did come back , I was so relieved, and Aimee said she would pop round at some time . Haven’t seen her since Xmas . Sarah seems quite well , despite having a pain in her collar bone , she rang hospital yesterday and they didn’t seem
to worried , they said it was where the tumult was . But I suppose we have to exspect all these unusual things now as her body won’t be normal for quite a long time . Take care everyone . Sending hugs to all Maddie xx
Dear Kate,
He is absolutely gorgeous i can imagine Brooke adores him i bet they will have some fun together its perfect timing, anything to keep us distracted and keep our minds busy, i am thinking of you in these painful weeks, love and hugs to you my friend
Michelle xxxx
Dear Maddie,
Thank you for your kind words, i am so glad you have had a lovely break, you really needed and deserved it after all you have been through, happy to hear Sarah is improving and that you are communicating, just take it slowly, you can tell from your message you sound more yourself , take care much love
Michelle xxxx
yes so true such a harrowing journey . Sending love xxx
sending much love to you my friend,
love Michelle xxx