Hello Maddie,
Who are these people that say you cannot talk about Dawn. It is hard what to say but I always find it is easier to talk about the person that has left us rather than avoid the subject. They like us would want us to talk.
With love
Helen
Dear Maddie and friends,
I believe we should talk about our children. Why shouldnât we? I personally struggle with it as I find myself getting tearful when I do.
I am getting through by pretending that it hasnât happened. In my head I think of Gemma still living in her little house, cooking supper for the boys.
It is only when I have to confront what happened that I feel panicky and tearful. But I persevere and am getting better at staying calm.
I am tearful as I write this so not in the best frame of mind at the moment.
Much love to you all xx
Hello, Victoria Helen Wynne and all, sorry you are having such a bad day Victoria, it dose not take much to make us cry such simple things can start it off, still cannot look at Dawn photos that I have out ,as some days its just so painful , although I am always talking to her and asking her what she thinks about things . (thatâs when I am having good days ).I still cannot look at her baby photos or when she was growing up. Like you Victoria,its ok when you keep busy, and then it does confronts you and you are back to square one again. Helen have you seen Marcus lately ? Sending love Maddie xx
Hi Maddie, Victoria and Wynne and all of us on this never ending cycle,
I havenât seen Marcus lately though I am going to go September/October time, near Samâs birthday if he has any free appointments. Like you all I have good days and really bad daysâŚI was moaning to Sam earlier in the week saying I canât keep trying like this I donât really want to, and then I saw on the front room floor by my chair a feather, so I knew Sam heard me. I know heâs here in the house when I get down I can feel him and I always talk out loud to Sam whether itâs a good day or a bad day. I find it helps me to cope. John is always saying to me âwhat would Sam sayââŚand I know he would absolutely kick my backside if he were here and say get on with it, thatâs the hand youâve been dealt. That was always the way he thought of things, his attitude was I canât change it, so I will live with it and Iâll carry onâŚwhich in fairness he did he fought like hell donât get me wrong but he also carried on with life going back snowboarding, out with his mates everything. At the funeral one of his mates also called Sam said to me âwe used to forget he had that thing in his head because he just carried on regardlessâ. When I get down I think of all the things he did and I am so proud of him.
With love
Helen
Hi Helen and dear friends . you are right Helen they would be annoyed at us if we did not get with life, after all Dawn did tell us through the quija board to get a life, and I think we have done as much as we can keeping busy and nice holidays. Even though its been tough, we are getting through it the best we can we have no choice. Like you with Sam we feel so proud of what they achieved in life, despite them being so ill⌠Maddie x
Hi EveryoneâŚTime goes by so quickly âŚbut time doesnât heal the loss that we feel and the isolation that it brings and it never willâŚtears are never far from the surface and wherever you are it only takes⌠a thought⌠a memory⌠a place and the tears can come non stopâŚa packet of tissues is an essential item wherever I go I never go out without themâŚWhat has life become when it is more essential to remember the tissues rather than your front door keysâŚChristian would think I had gone mad and there are times I think I haveâŚ
Like Helen I talk to Christian a lotâŚI tell him everythingâŚhe is the first person I say Good Morning to and the last person I say Goodnight to⌠I even tell him what time it is and day it isâŚit maybe silly but it helps me and believe it or not it keeps me sane just like all of you on this forum has from day oneâŚ
Love you allâŚMarina xxx
Dear Marina and everyone,
Like you Gemma is always on my mind and I always talk to her, tell her how the boys are and how they are doing.
Time doesnât seem to heal for me although I put âa face onâ as my mum would say.
I hope you are all coping okay.
Much love to you xxx
I found this beautiful reading recently and find it comforting:
On the days when no one but you mentions their name, I am so, so sorry.
Say their name bravely. Know that they are still real, they were still here, and they are still yours.
xxx
Beautiful sayingâŚthey are still with us they are very much alive in our minds and soul and nobody can take them from us⌠xx
Hi Victoria, if no one mentions our lovely children, they are in our hearts from morning to night and no one can take that away from us , our hearts are broken,. and no one except us will know how it feels , and I am sure our love ones must know we are grieving for them. Maddie x
Hello ,everyone
I am feeling so sad today as it would of been Dawns 50th birthday,instead of celebrating with a party and presents, its just a visit to one of her resting places with flowers and a balloon.It is so unfair how did we get on this awful road grief?Our children did not deserve to die they had so much to live for,and reading all your post they were loving good children.I have always believed that God always takes the best first.
Sorry having a bad day Maddie xx
Always so hard on special occasions as if itâs not bad enough on general days hope you can be kind to yourself in some small way itâs always really good coffee for me 
xx
Dear Maddie, Sally and all., I reiterate Sallyâs advice so very hard when we miss our boys and girls on their special days. Be gentle with yourself and know that your love can reach into the heavens where hopefully they are all listening and sharing with us. It never gets any easy but somehow the time is passing and I know they are always in the corner of our minds and hearts. With love Wynne
Hello again, Maddie,
I am so sorry that you are going through this awful grief, you are in my thoughts and prayers. MaryLip
Hello Maddie
I thought that I missed my daughter every day so her birthday could not be worse. It was. You and many others on here have too felt that dreadful sadness knowing that we would have celebrated in some way. For me I remembered my daughterâs birth and all that followed. So precious.
I wish you peace and love and so hope that the torture that all us bereaved parents feel is comforted by our loving memories of our children.
Sending you all hugs. Xxx
Hello Maddie,
Bad days are even harder for us to bear, so be kind to yourself Dawn would not want you to feel so stricken. You are right and God does take the best. I have just come back from France and every day I thought of Sam in some small way and I know he knew I was thinking of him. There will not be a day that goes by that you do not think of Dawn, she is wrapped so tightly in your heart.
With love
Helen
Such lovely words, Helen and so very comforting to us all. xxx
Thankyou so much Maryl. for thinking about us in our life of grief . Maddie xx
Hello Helen, Wynne, Victoria , and all .
Yesteday was such a perfect day, we went out for lunch in our little MG car to meet friends for lunch, and I could not believe what a good life we have at the moment, but then I commented to my husband its been really good the last couple of years, but the person we cannot forget is our lovely daughter Dawn the one thing missing in our lives, has she got something to do with it as she told us on the quija board to get a life. and I feel so so guilty to be carring on without her, I would give up everything everything to have her back . Inside my heart is crying for her.Does anyone else feel this way? Love Maddie xx
Hi Helen ,Wynne, Victoria, Martella,
Just wondered how you are doing.? Things this end donât seem to be getting any easier, July has been a really bad month, I donât know if its because Dawn would have been 50years old and we should of been celebrating, but everything seems start the tears flowing,they do say we are on a roller coaster,and I think that sums it up.The weather has been so beautiful and I keep thinking of all the lovely things she could of ben doing, she always liked to organise weekend away ,and holidays to Florida. Its just so sad our children are not here to enjoy it,Oh if only we could see them just once and tell them how much we love and miss them ,and give them the biggest hug.
Maddie xx