Hi Victoria - I often feel the same, that people blame me. I don’t even need them to do it, I’m blaming myself anyway! No one has ever actually blamed me tho to my face. Judgemental people who know nothing aren’t worth bothering with at all. No one has the right to judge our kids or us. They wd be better having a look at themselves and their own family. It’s tragedy enough without ignorant people blaming us. Sod them! Xxxxx
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@Tilly13 you are so right, it is a life sentence. Hour by hour, day by day and before you know it, it’s 1 year, 2 years.
Ive been reading the texts between me and my son that last week, why didn’t I see the signs? As far as I’m aware there weren’t any?
I think we have to accept, no matter how difficult it is that we couldn’t have done anymore but I constantly look at his pictures and ask why??? xx
I do that read his messages, no signs to give me any concern, even when I was at his flat I had no concerns, addiction is an illness and one silly mistake ruins life and ours forever. The anxiety and stress I used to have when I couldn’t contact him or see him on line has just about gone which is good but makes me feel guilty then. People just judge when they don’t have a clue, I can’t be arsed with them, as my temper flares up. I’m going to put some new plants in his resting place maybe today or tomorrow. Remember minute by minute seems to be the way xx
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@MJG I’m going to cemetery tomorrow or Thursday as it’s the anniversary on Sunday. I don’t really want to go on the actual day, I’d rather stay home. I get a lot of peace knowing he’s with my Mum & Dad xx
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I fully understand. My son his resting place is out in the garden in a hand made container, I have him in the middle of my Mum and Dad, how bazaar is that yours virtually the same. Take peace in going, reflect on the good times and the happy times. Big hug xx
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Dear New friends,
So sorry you have had to join this site but am sure you will find it a big comfort, i too have been on it for 4 years and have made some lovely friends, my son passed in May 2019 and im not sure how ive managed to ho on, we all walk the tightrope and somehow manage to get through, please know that you are amongst lovely friends and you will never be alone as someone will always be there for you 
sending much love to old and new friends
Michelle xxxx
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Thank you for those kind words. This site is my lifeline and the only people who understand the pain we have. I lost my son in March to a drugs overdose, such an illness addiction is but no one judges your circumstances on here and it’s where I really feel I can let my feelings out. Take care xx
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Hi All,
I never imagined I’d ever end up writing posts on a bereavement website for the loss of a child but here I am.
Nearly one year on from losing my son I am still at a loss as to beginning to understand how that happened.
I have bad days and then really bad days.
One thing I have learned though is that you begin to realise who your true friends are and those that just don’t want to begin to understand or support you.
I know that everyone on this forum truly understands the unimaginable pain of losing a child no matter the circumstances or age and for that I would like to say thank you.
I ache every day for the loss of my beautiful child and have to watch the pain my daughter goes through on a daily basis to.
My son was 31 years old and would have been 32 last Saturday.
Just needed to share that.
Thank you for listening.
Jayne x
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Hi Jayne
I am fairly new on this site myself my son passed away on 11th July this year he was 37 he suffered for 3 and 1/2 years with primary progressive multiple sclerosis which took all his mobility completely from August 2020 before that he was very fit and active never drank or smoked and I will never understand why this happened.to him but like yourself I find it very good to be able to chat to people on this site as like you say people on here know exactly how you feel its so different to losing a parent and so much worse I have had a few good days.but today I was clearing some things off the top of a wardroble and came across some pictures of my two boys when they were at school and that was it down came the tears and that hopeless feeling. I love and miss him so much I was there when he passed away but I am not religious and I dont believe in life after death so its difficult for me to have faith that he is ok. Myself and my other son are going to see a psychic later on this month I am hoping they will put my mind at rest we are having personal readings. Anyway sending love hugs and best wishes to you x
Kim
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My son was born with mild cerebral palsy, moderate learning disability,but he was doing well . Walking ,getting on and off buses,he used to travel all over the place,very independent. He was 47,He died on the 17th July this year . It was secondary bone cancer, not sure of primary,they think Gastric. He did not smoke ,drink,or eat much red meat ,he did not like ham.so unfair as the cancer spread to the bones it took away his walking he was dead within 3months. The only thing I wonder about is long term medication
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Hello dear friends , so many new ones on our site now . My heart is breaking for all of you . You have lost your beautiful children all in the most horrendous ways , and take so painful . I really don’t know what to say to you to ease your pain . But I must say nobody cares more but us mothers on this site . We can poor our hearts out . I have put awful
things on hear , and afterwards thought , I shouldn’t of said that and wanted to delete that . , especially when have a lot to drink . Only to discover other mothers drink to get them through there grief . So if you are having the worse day ever , we are all there for all of you . I am nearly 7 years down the line , even now I don’t know how I had made it . Probably because my husband John who has moved on really quickly and my sister in law used to call every morning to make sure I got out of bed . . I think I would have given up . There is a light at the end of the tunnel , I know now you would not think that is possible , but you will get through , baby steps . I could not put Dawns photo out , but John said after 5 months I would like to see her photo and I must admit , talking to her every morning lighting a candle and kissing her photo every night brings me peace of mind . We can’t see our loved ones but they are there and will send signs , which I am sure you will receive , you just have to look out for them , they will
let you know .sending you all hugs Maddie xx
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We do that every morning and night ,we have a large framed photo of our son on the wall,and we have his ashes.we say good morning and good night. We love you
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Hi Dear pest , now our heart is breaking with our Daughter Sarah , she is in remission with None Hodgelins Lymphoma , . Everyday I wake up and hope she is well , she is having a lot of councilling , as I know she is dreading it might come back . And I must admit I am having so many sleepless nights worry for her . . I don’t think if she falls sick again I will be able to cope . I am as different person now .
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Kim,
I feel your pain and I too was with my son when he passed away.
I tried tirelessly to save his life but to no avail.
My daughter was also there and for her it was a terrifying nightmare.
I worry endlessly about the effect it’s having on her and she still can’t talk about that day or say her brothers name.
It’s heartbreaking.
Take care of yourself.
Love Jayne x
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This cancer is such a terrible thing, I see today they are saying it is breast cancer month, I think they should have a metastasis month ( secondary cancer) ,as I think that is the worst kind.
God love her though, I know what she must be going through,But worrying might make it worst
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I can see you are a great mother, I know you are like me support our children with all our strength and love. I have a daughter Sarah too ,she is severely handicapped fed with a peg , she was the one always sick .But for what ever reason ,my son Christopher was taken . I love her to bits,and would fight for her no matter what.I had and have two beautiful Children and so do you. Love to you all
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When asked how many children do you have? I will always say Two.
I will always have two children even though one has passed away.
I send all my love to those suffering my pain
Xxx
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I am the same … I still have 3 children, it is just that I don’t see my eldest now. I read about ‘containing bonds’ and that is what I now do as it feels right for me.
I chat with Gemma, visiting places where I feel close to her and it really helps me.
Anyone here who has recently lost their previous son or daughter, you might find it helpful to read about it. I think it gives me peace xxx
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Hi Victoria,
What exactly is ‘containing bonds’??
Sounds interesting.
Thanks.
Jayne x
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