Hi Jayne, it is truly heartbreaking and so hard. I completely agree with wanting to sleep throughout the whole thing. This year will be our 9th. I almost stop breathing as Christmas approaches and I don’t want to think about it. The emptiness is unbearable. But somehow we continue, we get through it and you will too. We eventually live along side the pain and the injustice. When it’s over, we have to give ourselves credit for coming out of the other side.
Wishing everyone strength to cope,
Love Chris x
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Hi Chris,
Thank you for your message.
Life is never going to be the same for any of us and times when we are meant to be joyful are always the hardest.
I wish you a peaceful Christmas and a brighter new year.
Jayne x
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Hi all this Christmas will be the first Christmas without my son and his wife will not let us see our granddaughter so it will be probably the worst Christmas ever. Its so true that people who have not lost a child can never understand what it feels like I usually love Christmas but not this year. I am starting grief counselling next week see how that goes I have some good days but then something always brings it all back. I start to feel guilty and wonder if I did enough to help him and then I start to think did ge really love me or was it all an act he passed away in July after a long illness the last 7 months in lived in a bungalow with 24 hour carer’s and I went to see him everyday sometimes twice a day so when he passed there was a lot of time to fill sometimes I wonder why I get out if bed everyday I am retired so I dont have work to occupy my time I do have a husband and another so thats why I carry on. Hope that one day this pain will get easier.
Sorry for going on hope all you guys get through Christmas the best you can. I find it really helpful being able to come on here and chat thanks for listening.
Kim x
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Good luck with the counselling. You will survive, just a new reality that we all learn to live with. I didn’t see my granddaughter for many years but we’re back in touch now so there’s always hope. Best wishes to you.
We’ll all be thinking of each other this Christmas.
Remember that it’s just another day and we will get through it.
My son passed away just before last Christmas and it was horrendous but myself, my husband and my daughter just supported each other as best we could.
There’s no easy way to navigate your way through these tough days,you must remember them and just how much you loved them.
Jayne x
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Hi all not been on for a bit i still read all the posts my dear friends i dont know how i would get through without this site and all your kindness .i lost sam at 24 he had a rare cancer sarcoma he was gone in four months april 27th 2021 feels like yesterday .so this will be our third xmas without my beautiful boy .grief is a rollercoaster ride it never leaves us we just learn to live along side it. The pain in your chest when you wake eases. But i still have a little cry everyday . We go out for lunch at xmas it just seems to make it easier . I know for most its a dread .but really its just another day . Sending all my love and big hugs to old friends and new .so many new names im so sorry youve had to join this wicked club . But its saved my life many a night always someone to talk to .thinking of you all much love zoe love 
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Hi Zoe , I have been thinking about you as we are at the same time along this desperate journey. I was feeling so broken yesterday and so alone. Who could I turn to, no one I thought, I have caring friends and family but it’s been two and a half years , How can they understand the struggle we go thru. It’s seems everyone has moved on but me. Time goes on but I think we as mothers don’t really move on, just learn to hide it better. It felt so isolated like I was the only one in the whole world that felt like this.
Then I remembered this site and realised I am NOT alone , so many others feel exactly the same and that is so sad but also comforting that I am not really alone after all. This site is a little light in the darkness, day or night .
Take care love Jess xx
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Lovely photos Jess. Lovely memories.
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It will be our 5th Christmas without Lisa. Time has passed so quickly and i cant believe how Brooke has grown. Living without her Mummy but thriving in spite of that. Now nearly 8 she doesn’t mention her Mummy now. She goes quiet when we talk about her so she must now be finding it harder to process and the memory of her fading. She was only 3 when Lisa died. So unfair. My heart breaks when i remember those early days. Jamie’s tearful eyes, his heart breaking but he had his love for their little girl to keep him going.
We will get through Christmas and another Birthday for Brooke in January. Hope her Mummy can see how beautiful she is.
Love to all dear friends. Only we know how this feels.
Kate xxx
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Hello All
I read all your posts but don’t post as much but I did find this and thought of all of us on here trying hard to survive without our sons and daughters:-
Thank You For Being A Part Of My Journey
I just want to let you know I’m okay. I still feel your presence in my everyday life. I talk to you all the time, and I see the signs you send me.
I smile when I think of something you would say to make me laugh. I can still hear your voice in my head and feel your love in my heart.
I don’t feel like you’re gone just because I can’t see you. I know you’re now just a part of me.
A very important part…just as you’ve always been.
I try really hard not to feel guilt, regret, or anger, because those emotions only make me feel further away from you. I’m also not sad all the time. I know you would hate to see me that way.
I talk to you just as I always have, sometimes even out in public. I don’t care what other people think. They don’t know us, and they don’t know our story.
Here’s the thing…I know as much as I tried I couldn’t save you. I did the best I could with the knowledge I had at the time. I made the right decisions based on what I believed was best for you…and us.
I know you know that.
I’m here and you’re there, and I hope where you are is better, because I’ll see you there someday when I find my way back to you.
Thank you for being a part of my journey…even though I wish it could’ve been longer.
With love Helen
Until we meet again I promise you I’ll continue to honor our relationship by releasing the anger that no longer serves me, forgiving myself for what I might have done wrong, and living the best life I can with no regrets.
I’ll honor your memory by living my life for both of us…and at the end of my journey, I know you’ll be waiting.
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Beautiful Helen. I feel exactly that way too.
Love to you and John.xxx
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So beautiful and so much how I think since I lost my son❤️
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Helen that is beautiful thank you for sharing
Hi Jess i always think of you too .ours sons passing very close. Never think your alone .always here my friend always up for a chat .it dont seem possible two years have passed crazy .we miss our boys like it was yesterday .thinking of you big hugs zoe 
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Lovely to hear from you all and oh so comforting … like old trusted friends.
We finally laid Gemma’s ashes to rest a few weeks ago, really because Charlie wanted his mummy to have a ‘special place’.
I took him last week for the first time and he was pleased He said ‘Mummy would like it here, Grandma because it is so peaceful and we can hear the birds singing’ and he is right …we can hear birds singing there. Gemma was passionate about nature.
The strange thing was we bought a bunch of orange roses, chosen by Charlie. When we laid them on her special place they seemed to glow! I took a photograph and wondered what anyone else thought?
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We haven’t laid our son to rest yet as it’s such a difficult and painful decision to make.
He is still with us at home but we know that we have to for the sake of our daughter and also for us.
As you all know it’s not an easy decision.
I wish it was easier but it’s hard to look into the future and think of the future.
Who new laying your loved one to rest would be so difficult.
I’m sure I’m not alone.
Jayne x
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Hi victoria. Im sure Gemma was with you there. The roses look amazing .they look like gold. They are a glow .how lovely hope you are well big hugs zoe
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Hi 3099
Very big decision about the ashes 2 and half years on sam in the front room he has to stay with me he was a home bird . Xxxx
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