Oh dear, it just doesn’t get any easier does it. I’ve started to cry again and it still hurts so much. My remaining son has so many mannerisms of his brother and when I see them I smile but inside I cry. They were so close in age, almost like twins. Eleven years now and it hasn’t got any easier. My heart goes out to all bereaved parents.
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Sending love and hugs to you all dear friends, i think some may think just because we are good actors and put on brave faces that maybe we are healed or something , all we can hope for is the occasional good day and believe that one day we will all be reunited with our beautiful children, like all of you i think of my precious son Matt every waking hour, we include him in all that we do as a family but sometimes the waves come and take you right under 
keep fighting on my brave friends old and new, love Michelle xxx
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Dear Michelle and all. I still get those moments when i think of Lisa and realise she has gone, my stomach cramps and I feel sick. Its like we get on with our lives feeling they are just away, living their lives as they did and then reality hits us in the face.
So hard at times.
Love to you.
Kate xx
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Dear Kate and all,
I think thats how i cope like its just that they are away somewhere but every now and then the reality hits and sweeps you off your feet, i still feel guilty for carrying on as normal even though pur children are willing us on to live our lives, ive only just started to read books for pleasure as always felt guilty like it was another indulgence, i am so glad as it helps fill my mind late at night and helps me sleep, sending all my love to you all always 
xxxxx
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Michelle, me too. Lisa and i read the same books. We loved the Jo Nesbo books and Lisa read them all in the correct sequence after having read random editions. I watch foreign dramas with subtitles too as it stops my mind from wandering.
We do whatever we can to ease the pain don’t we?
Love to you.
Kate xx
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Hi all dear friends. So i have been quiet for a while on tjis site as July is a difficult month for us. 10th was Lisas birthday which was fine. We went out for a meal and a friend joined us for a drink.
The anniversary was yestetday. 5 years. Where has the time gone? Felt raw the day before. I was lookkng after Brooke and when Jamie got back from work her flung his arms around me and was very emotional. Still in love with our beautiful girl. I cried all the way on my drive home.
We havd lost them but our love goes on and on.
Love to you all.
Kate xx
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The pain of losing a child is so raw and strong and I’m so sorry we all have gone through this but anniversaries are the worst. Eleven years on for me and the feelings are still so sad. I wish with all my heart I could have my son back. I hope your feeling a little better today and I hope something happens to make you smile. Sending love.
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Dear Kate,
I have been thinking about you these past weeks, its so hard to believe its 5 years, it feels such an eternity away 5 years, and then sometimes it only feels like it could be 5 weeks, sending you all my love my friend and the strength to get you through to fight another day and put on the best act as we all do day in day out, thank God we have our loved ones who need us and give us a reason to keep going to fight another day take care xxxx
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Thankyou Michelle. Yes 5 years seems so long but we relive the tragedy of their loss every day.
I just reread my post and saw all the typo’s. Tears do affect our typing skills!
Love to you today and always.
Kate xx
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Sending lots of love and hugs 
xxxxx
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Hello All
I haven’t posted on here for a long time, but I have read all and I understand just how relentless grief is, it never goes away, but we seem as time goes by to cope a little better to mask our feelings until such times as the anniversaries and poignant moments come around, like you Victoria and Kate I relive each day that Sam is not here in my mind and I talk to his photo and still nearly 8 years on I light his candle each night. The things we do to cope, and yes the void does get wider but I know in my heart I will see Sam again and so will all of us, we do have that to look forward to.
With love to you all
Helen
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Hi Helen yes like you and others I have not posted for a long time but still read comments and think about everyone on this thread , and like you light a candle every night for my boy , 3 years for me but I am just waiting and trying to be patient . Just trying to be patient until it’s my turn but oh when will that be ? Just trying to be kind and get through each day as best I can as long as it takes . Some days easier than others but we plod on . Sending love to all Jess xx
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I lost my daughter on 10th June to cancer, she had additional needs and had never been alone in her entire life, the loss is crippling for our whole family, I miss her more than I can express, i needed her as much as she needed me. Initially we would try to do one thing every day, be that doing the shopping or hoovering ( yes I know it’s not much! ) . Now my days are either totally diabolical or I manage to distract myself. My husband and 3 other children need me but my god, what I’d do to be able to give her a hug and hold her hand.
Do an hour at a time, cry if you need to, don’t be worried about saying no when people offer to come round, true friends will keep offering. Grief is so very personal, you may be ok with people witnessing your grief ( it doesn’t bother me) or be like my husband who is much more private. Grief is as powerful as love, it just hasn’t got anywhere to go
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I read this recently
“Grief is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go”.
We know this so well.
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Dear friends
Haven’t been here for a while. I do try to read new posts and sometimes respond to those who’ve recently joined us. Wish that they never. That none of us were here. 
But let me say that you’re all so amazing. Holding each other up, sharing with brutal honesty the fact that at times, it’s total crap for us.
However much time has passed we will not and should not “get over it” we learn to survive with it.
None of us are alone in the struggle. We all understand the weight of loss and grief. The unexpected triggers, the sheer relentlessness of it all.
Please hold on. Some days, lots of days are ok now for me - never thought they could be again when I lost my son Henry. They will be for you, if not now, it will happen.
There is still joy in the world, our children are waiting for us and our love for them will carry us through.
Love and hugs to you all.
Purple
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Hello
I lost my son 7th june, he was 28.
I feel lost and still do not want to beleive it.
He lived in USA at the time.
Sometimes i just imagine he is still alive and just faraway.
I find it hard to look at his photos.
I only have one up at the moment.
I cant beleive im never going to see him again 
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I’m so sorry to read your post. There are no words for the heartbreak of losing a child.
Our whole world changes beyond recognition, I have just reached the 1st anniversary. My daughter Chloe was also 28 and passed last August. It feels like yesterday and that time has stopped.
I still can’t believe I will never see her again, it’s to unbearable and the reality is incredibly hard to accept, I don’t think we ever can accept our children have passed.
Be kind to yourself and I hope you have support around you. Keep reaching out to these platforms as it can help knowing others are going through similar losses.
Big understanding hugs to you.
Michelle xxx
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Dear Purple, Kate, Helen and all friends,
We have been on this journey together for so long now and I still feel heartbroken for you all. We are forged together by our loss and care so much about each other which is a great gift.
As Purple said, there is still joy to be found, although some days I know it is hard to believe.
Sending huge hugs and so much love to you all tonight.
Love, V
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To you too Victoria. Xxx
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So very sorry for your terrible loss, no words can ever convey the grief we feel. Sending you love xxx