I’ve just seen this poem … thought it was relevant to what I wrote in my post .
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So very true, I think that is one of my coping ways xx
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hi Karen
i am sad to read about the loss of your son
when we loss a l0oved one especially a child our mind goes into overdrive, because we ask ourselves why our child has died before us. my own son died age 27, it was his choice to end his life. i understand that you will ask yourself many questions to which their arent any answers
may you eventually find peace in your heart, mind and life
i am sending you hugs to try to give you strength to cope !!!
Keith
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Thank you so much, im having a very bad day today,
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My love, the bad days are horrendous. We cant even think straight. All thoughts are so jumbled and confused with the impossible weight of our loss.
We are all here. Some of us for quite a few years now. This site was my lifeline.
Stick with us and we will all try to help you through this terrible time in your life.
Sending love and strength.
Kate xx
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Karen, sorry you are having a bad day, the early weeks and months are so hard, I would be lying if I said any different. Even as time goes by the bad days hit us like a tsunami. All I can say is hour by hour. This forum is a lifesaver. We are here for you, just keep messaging. Xx
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Thank you. Reality is starting to hit me x
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To karen and kate, i can understand how both maybe feeling, as even after 30 years alone the loneliness comes around and tells i am back accept me.
I usually am able to brush it off.
Bit this last year or so my health has become a burden. Making me feel shattered both physically and emotionally.
I am hope that the consultant can prescribe medication so that long term i can move forwards.
Sending you a virtual hug and peck on your cheeks, to give you both strength and poert to cope and new hope x
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Hi Karen i rarely post in here, because most people who do are just begining to go through a horrible and emotional loss and their mind keeps asking question that wont be answered it also brings back sad memories to my mind and empty broken heart
I have knowledge of this because of the lebgth of loss and amount of loved ones lost.
This being said it does not make a know all, it sumply neans that like ither people i have more experiences and definitely more pain and loneliness
May your guarduan angels watch over you and give you strength to cope mrchipps x
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The bad days are an endurance test, I am usually a pragmatic type person but since losing my girl I am floundering, grief has unanswerable questions, complicated emotions, it’s a minefield and currently I am still unable to approach the days in any sort of order . My daughter had special needs and we had a disabled bay, the fact that my neighbours now park there feels so insensitive and on my rational days I know it shouldn’t matter , but I guess I am looking for somewhere to direct my anger at losing her . This forum has been invaluable to me, it’s 2 months today since she died and I honestly feel no better than I did that day , my heartfelt condolences to you all, much love
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Dear Hollie I feel for you. The early days are so raw and painful and the loss is such a heavy load to carry. People can be very insensitive because they don’t understand, how could they. Only those who have lost can know the utter despair we feel. Sending you love and strength.
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Hollie, I am so sorry for your loss. The early weeks, months are so hard. I’m 15 months in on this hell journey and I still get my bad days. There is hope though as they get less frequent as time goes on. I still want to vent my anger. I lost it a few weeks ago when an idiot banged my car door. Be kind to yourself and do day by day. This forum is a lifeline xx
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Holly I know what you feel,my son aged 47 had special needs.He had moderate learning disability, cerebral palsy on one side,epilepsy.
The most hurtful think that when he was young it took him a long time to walk.But that went 3 months before he died.He had secondary bone cancer, when I saw people walking about it hurt,and the first thing I could not look at was his shoes. Life can be very cruel. Love to you all 
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hi Hollie please accept my condolences for you loss , no amount of words can describe how you are feeling, also how other people really feel about your loss.
when my wife died , i didnt receive much support at all, .i went to my local cruse branch and was told that they could not help me because of my age 45. i tried setting up my own bereavement support social club, but it only had a few members and lasted 18 months, mainly because people were afraid to talk about their grief and their partners deaths
i have now been on my own 30 years and the loneliness and grief never goes away. i wouldnt try to offer anyone advice about what to do, because as far as i am concerned my life alone, has been one of successes and failures
i would like to share my life with a caring lady, who wants to share hobbies ,activities and some affection. best wishes mr chipps
Hollie ,
Although, they try, no one will ever understand what you are going through. No one can tell you how you should feel, what you should do or what you should think. You will probably react to things very differently now because this, at least for a while, is your new normal. Accepting the change really is the hardest part and there is no quick way of doing that, it is just one weary day at a time until you feel you can accept and in some way come to terms with the changes in your world.
People are incredibly insensitive, sometimes through ignorance, sometimes through lack of understanding. Many others will be unaware of your grief and many will choose to not acknowledge it in the hope you will not be reminded, but, each single day there is likely to be small thing that reminds you of the person you no longer have.
If you can see grief as a part of love, because if you hadn’t loved so much you would not be grieving now.
I know, that for me, some days seem unbearable and others a little more manageable, but the hard thing is, one cannot plan what the day is going to be like. Some small memory might pass through the mind and one is brutally reminded that the pain and unbelievable sadness are only a thought away.
Take care of yourself in every way you can and reach out to others whenever you need to.
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Hi Hollie dont want to bombard you with messages, so i am sending you this proven information. There are 2 time periods that you will go through in the grief process. They are at 3 months which comes and seems to send us into automatic pilot, where we simply do things because we need to
Then theres the 2nd time phase of 2 years , when begin to accept our loved ones death and start to begin expecting them to come back to us.
And we May begin to move forwards in our new lives.!!.
Just for future reading, theres the 9 stages of grief bereavement and morning. Best wishes Hollie in your future. Mr chipps
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I cannot thank you all enough for your support and messages, this forum is my safe place to vent, to share . I was a fixer, I like to help, plan and fix people when I can and have always been like that. I cannot fix this, I can’t help my other 3 children and my husband as much as I would like to because I’m not sure what to do, none of us want to be on this forum but as I say , the support really helps x
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Hollie, sadly we all come to something in our lives that we cant fix, such as my loved ones passings, especially my 27 yr old son,who took his own live. May peace be with always and you get strength from an angels arms x
Dear all, I am sorry that there are new people here who have sadly lost their beloved children, but glad you have found this wonderful site. It has been a lifeline for me since I lost my darling daughter when she took her own life.
I want you to know that it does get easier although six years on, I still have days when I am so tearful.
Often it is little things that catch me out.
Sending you all much love and peace xx
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Dearest Victoria and all friends old and, sadly, new. It was 5 years for us and also Michele. Its the milestones which really shake us. Brings it all back in vivid technicolour. Yes, we do learn to live again but can be taken down in a nano second when some random trigger hits us.
I was just sitting on the top step of our front door. My happy place. Its where i used to sit when the children were running round the house with water bombs in the summer. Where they roller bladed, rode their bikes and the echo of laughter is still in my head so many years since they were kids.
Tonight it brought me to tears. The silence, the same garden which comes alive again when our granddaughter comes.
Tough for all of us but somehow we manage to get through the grief.
Love to all.
Kate xx
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