Dear Victoria, i do the same. I imagine Lisa at home with her little family, going to the florist whokesaler and loading up the car and phoning me to see if i want to meet for coffee when shes finished her wedding prep.
Yes, it keeps me going too.
Love to you dear friend.
Kate xx
Dear All,
I havenāt written anything for a while now but I too have days when I pretend that my Son is away somewhere and will be home soon but today we are laying him to rest after having his ashes at home with us for nearly two years.
Itās another part of losing him but another part of loving him xxx
I do exactly the same, pretend my son is at his flat and at work, I think itās a coping mechanism. Whatever helps us I think even though we have probably accepted the worst.
You may think that you are losing your son, butvhe will always be in your heart and mind.
I bought a defibrillator in memory of my wife in heaven. But perhaps you can do something special to keep your sons memory and name alive physically. . Peace and love i send for strength x mr chipps 1
Hi friend, after Lisas passing our elder daughter Jemma set up a gift aid site and raised Ā£11600 for the ECMO ward at Aberdeen Royal Infirmary. The team were amazing with Lisa and grew close to her also. Around 10 the team came to her funeral. 2 of them straight off night duty. 3 hour drive from Aberdeen. They cared for her and we wanted to help them too.
Much love Kate xx
Hello Kate. You seem a wonderful and loving family and proud mum of Lisa. What you have done is special . I bought the defibrillator in memory of my wife, as like you i wanted to do some thing unique.
. On checking with you ambulance service charity, who look after the defibrillator, it had been taken out, but not needed 6 times in about a year. So it gave 6 people peace of mind knowing they hadnt had heart attacks( which i have several times many years ago) before my heart bypass. May the angels watch over and keep you safe.
Love Mr chipps 1x the singing poet.
Hi Minxie - I contacted Compassionate Friends when my daughter died. I found them a lifeline. They found me a Grief Companion who has been a rock to me. Sending you love xxx
When my son took his own life ibwas too upset and angry to consider contacting any organisation, plus they way that my local cruse branch had rejected me previously really hurt me. So ibwent on alone and was hurt by members of the national council for divorced and separated, who some of them told me, that ( they didnāt want my sort, bereaved in their organisation) but i carried on and made some friends from members. But basically i have had (sod all support with my several bereavements.)
But i carry on and win through.
I may read peoples posts but if i dont reply please accept my apologies. Mr chipps 1 x
HI kate
I never say that i sm sorry for peoples loss of a loved one, because , to me it poibts to guilt, which is wrong.
However i do say that I am sad for them which to me is more than true. This is my own personal feelings and not meant to belittle anyones befliefs.
I try to do what i personally can to support people in their loss of a loved one but i also try to support people in moving forward in grief.
Many years ago i created poems about organ donation and emailed them to Gruute schuur hospital in cape town south Africa, where christian barnard did the worlds 1st heart transplant. The purpose being to encourage people to enrol as organ donors.
My 1st donation was entitled. ( through your eyes) mr chipps 1
It has helped me to raise money. Since losing Gemma, I have raised Ā£6,000 for the charity, Mind and also raised money for Child Bereavement UK. On the Mind website, you can create a memory space in your loved oneās name and add a tribute to them. All the money you raise is then in their name.
I have plans for more fund raising this year with a calendar and Christmas market stall xx
I am comforted by your words, we have a digital picture frame where you upload photos and it acts like a slide show. I actually found myself smiling a couple of the funny pictures, this is real progress for me xxx
Hollie the digital picture frame hopefully will bring back happy memories. And keep helping you smile, which is allowed in grief
Smiling Hollie is alliwed while you are grieving.
And in your heart and mind yor pain you are relieving
Smiling back bring back to you happy memories
As you walk along the road and enjoy the breeze.
Smiling can bring some joy to you when you recall a happy past
Because grieving will in your memory always last
A smile will help you rember the joys more than the sadness
And into your life and future, it can bring more love and gladness.
Mr chipps 1x
Thank you Jim
My son died of an accidental overdose 5 weeks ago and I have so many questions. I wasnāt even aware he took drugs and I ask myself why would he take such a risk at 41 years old and his whole life to look forward to. Every minute of the day is different, i work to keep focused but grief is overwhelming at times. Iām angry, sad, hopeful for answers that I know will never come.
Youāre just a week ahead of me in your grief Jess and I just want to say how sorry I am and that I understand how overwhelming it all is.
Jess3, thatās how I lost my son aged 35 last year. Still so many unanswered questions which I beat myself up about, and will probably never have the answers. Little steps each day for us all.
Take care
Jess please dont beat yourself up emotionally or psychogically, its not your fault
My son kept threatening to kill himself and sometimes used his threats for leverage.
But when he died, i couldnt accept it and it took me ages to forgive him.
But now i accept his death and have forgiven him and love him without question. Mr chipps 1
just read your post only post on hear in the beginning when i lost my 37 year old daughter suddenly due to a fall she to had two children age 6 and 9 at the time nearly 18 months ago i did the same looked after the children and her husband didt have time to grief my partner was amazing feeding us all it was survival i needed them to keep me busy but i was screaming inside hit brick wall year later doc give me tablets but like you was afraid to take them best thing i done was go on holiday for a week to chill out didt no how much i needed me time actually was afraid
of me time i found a little bit of myself hard to believe as i was only exciting still have triggers but getting longer in better we were so close saw each other every day she was my best friend how im still standing i just dont no people tell me all the time im so strong im not i tell myself my daughter sending me strength to make sure her children are ok that keeps me going every day and her children are doing great i give them all love and hugs make them feel safe i feel i got this far with out medication everyone different if i didt have kids look after and have to work too it prob b different story i also needed to feel the grief cant believe im saying that but i had numb period waslike what is wrong with you relised i need to cry when it comes as it the love i feel for my daughter yes bad days and good but it still keeping busy and not being on my own to much children deal with it different worry me too they seem happy dont talk about there mum but il alwas mention her in things like ur mum did that or we stories but glad they do seem ok cause if they were crying and wanting their mum it dont think i could cope with that just do what your doing thats what get u through giving ur love to minding ur grandchildren not going lie doest get easier but thats all we can do to keep going
Dear friend. I also mention Lisa all the time to Brooke. She is very grown up in some ways. 8 now but she said she doesnt remember her mummy now. Thst she just remembers being 4 and moving to their new house with Daddy.
We are always saying things like, when Mummy and Auntie Jemma were young they did this or that or somethibg funny that makes us all laugh. Brooke is a happy wee girl. Daddy is amazing and looks after her so well.
Love to you and sending hugs and more.
Kate xxx
Iām on my own at home now without any grandchildren and itās so much easier not having to pretend everything is ok when itās not.
I saw the counsellor yesterday and it was helpful in that apparently the way Iām feeling is completely normal and Iām not going mad which is basically all I wanted to know as Iām aware thereās nothing anyone can say that will make things better at the moment as itās less than a month since Ashley died
Meeting the funeral director today so hopefully will get a date then it will begin to feel as if itās really happened and Iām not just living in a nightmare
just read your post truely sorry u in this club i lost my 37 year old daughter suddenly after a stupid fall dont think you ever get ur head around it im 18 months in now getting longer periods of not crying witch is crap as you feel what is wrong with you like u her 2 beautiful children age 7 and 11 keep me going as i have a lot of there care and yes good to have a bit of time to myself that i never wanted in begaining every waking moment going bed hard to switch off i keep telling my self she sending me strength to make sure her boys is ok there a poem some were some one sent me and it so true called A pair of shoes when people say to me i think ur very strong i say im not i dont have a choice iv relised now the saddenes i feel is for her what she missing out all the mile stones of her children my sister was great strength early days best advice she give me made me get up wash dressed told me dont lie in bed keep busy and thats what i done wish was so hard as you just wish u could stay there every time felt the grief come heavy went out walking we just have to keep going we lucky we have grandchildren never think to far a head true saying one day at a time