We all deserve whatever helps, even if only temporary xxxxx
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Sorry guys.
Let myself down recently. You have to keep a brave face on only for your own self preservation. Went on holiday and felt so guilty. Why should I be allowed to go onholiday or Infact do anything without my boy. Survivors guilt is horrible. But the fact is you really do have to go on living I left my boy or should I say he left me quite a few years ago. But in my head heās always here. Iām always thinking he would have been blah blah blah. This age that age. I carry on being normal but behind closed doors. You question yourself . Did I. Could I. Should I. Never goes away. Life throws you curved balls and you have to learn to live with them. What else is there ? We can all turn the clock back and say if only. But we are left with the hear and now. Many a night I sit-up in the small hours pondering. But I canāt change anything. Itās so hard. But you have to live with it. The trick is finding the balance to function as ā normal ā. And to the rest of the world pretending everything is ok
Ok thanks for listening
Take care
Jim
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Hi Jim, survivors guilt is brutal. I felt guilty putting makeup on and found buying even the most necessary clothing difficult knowing the my daughter couldnāt anymore. This went on for a long time but I gradually felt I could even though at times, it still doesnāt feel right. I understand how you feel about holidays. It is so painful knowing that they should be enjoying life and canāt. I know in my own mind she would want us to go on holiday and it is unreasonable to think that we should never go on holiday but it is by no means easy or straight forward. I take my daughterās photo with me so she can not only be with us, she can see everything we see through our eyes.
Take care all
Chris x
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Hi jim10
Bless you, its nice to see how you put āhow it isā its difficult for people to understand unless you have been through it, and we are still going through it, trying to navigate our way through life best we can, take care, x
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I felt the same, Chris. I can remember my husband persuading me to go for a coffee one day. I got to the door and broke down as it felt so wrong to be doing something nice.
Gradually we realise that we can still do these things and it isnāt a betrayal of the person who we miss so much x
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Dear Kate,
Just wanted to send you a big hug and much love as i know you are approaching 6 years since your precious Lisa was taken 
, the days leading upto the anniversary are so hard as the memories come flooding back of the last time you held her in your arms but we know they are always with us safely tucked in our heart pockets 
xxx
love and strength to everyone who is struggling, remeber you are not alone xxxxx
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Its 18 weeks today since i lost my son and i feel so guilty about doing anything i might enjoy in anyway or smile or laugh at anything because Steve isnt here. Even though people tell me he wouldnt want me to be like this i just cannot stop. It eats away at me as i so desperately want him back even though i know i cant. xx
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Dear Sue561, I felt the same for several months after I lost my daughter. I didnāt buy anything, didnāt put make up on, wouldnāt go out to a coffee shop.
Then gradually I started doing these things.
I think I felt guilty about my husband and other two children. I realised that I was making their suffering worse somehow ā¦ they felt as though they were losing me too. So gradually I rejoined the normal world.
It is so very hard but you must do things in your own time and at your own pace. Even now there are times when it all gets too much and I am not able to cope with the world without Gemma in it, so I retreat into myself and hide away for a day or two
You will get there but it is baby steps.
I wish you peace xx
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So sad for every bereaved parent, we live in minutes and hours, counting days since our children were taken from us. 13 weeks today for me m, my beautiful boy Matt. I love you and will miss you every minute of everyday forever. Sending love and strength to all on here 
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Hello all
I havenāt been here for a little while, the last few weeks have been horrendous, well the whole of June really, I yearn to be with my daughter, I miss laughing with her, I miss the sheer joy she brought. In fact , I even miss the harder days. I am very aware Iāve shut myself off to most people outside my children and husband and one very loyal friend. I cannot explain how I feel, so I donāt try. Life is not good right now. Love to all
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Hi Hollie im sorry your feeling so awfull its part of grief .its hard to carry on, but know your strong for getting out of bed in the morning and your family need you and you need them ā¦when sam first past i used to go round my daughter jess sit at the table and watch my daughter my grandchildren .it didnt mean anything i just sat for weeks .i would get in my car and sob all i wanted was samā¦but has the months past i needed to be part of it and they needed meā¦its not easy its the loneliness that comes with it . Four years on i still want to scream sam was here .he was a person you can talk about him .i find that hard i can smell him i know what he felt like .but hes not in front of me .but i have to believe hes here with me ā¦
Thinking of him can make me chuckle its a long road .but you learn
To cope a little better sending everyone big hugs on this terrible journey
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Victoria thank you for sharing this, it like we could have written it as its just how it is xx
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Dear Sue Jen and Hollie, sending love and hugs and hoping you can find comfort the post we all share with, just so you know you are not alone and we have all felt your pain and still do xxxx
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Love this Zoe thank you for sharing xxx
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thank you. Today has been another tough day to get through
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It is a very odd way of living our lives, we will all very probably never meet but take such enormous comfort from each other as we all understand trying to make sense of the incomprehensible, I still occasionally, momentarily- forget that this is not temporary and imagine sheās just gone out for the day. Tommorow is the first anniversary of Hollies funeral. Iām very unsure of how to manage the day , love to you wonderful, courageous mums and Dadās xx
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Hi hollieā¦ Every day is hard to handleā¦ People are always saying it will get better. HOW.? Nobody who hasnt been in our situation understands fullyā¦ I lost my son in 2020. His 5year anniversay is coming up in october. His birthday next month. He was 39 he got bowel cancer. From him being diagnosed to passing was just 3 weeks. It cant be 5 years ago, it only feels like yesterday. Iv never missed somebody as much as i miss him. Due to personal circumstances, i wasnt allowed to go to his funeralā¦ Sometimes i sit here and see his shadow when i turn around. Sorry for making this all about me. Maybe i needed to off load. Tommorrow will be tough for you. Go for a meal with your family. Buy some special flowers.Which hollie liked. I wish you well. Im sorry for your loss.
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Thankyou today wasnt such a good day. It seems like this is our new life now. One that i and many of you ladies dont want. I miss my son every minute of the day xx
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