Dear all, How wonderful that little ones see things that as adults we don’t often feel. Christmas and New Year were so hard as a new decade dawned which meant Daniel seemed so far away. It will be three years next month since we last saw his smiling eyes and cheeky grin. I am glad others have seen signs. I am never sure if he is trying to contact us or is it just me clinging to hope. I miss him so very much and the longing never goes away. Sending love to all. Wynne
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Dear friends. We created our children, we and they carry our DNA. They are always within us, part of us.
Love to all Kate xx
Dear Wynne and all,
It is lovely to hear from you and I feel exactly like you … I don’t get strong signs from Gemma. So that is why I was so happy when Charlie had that lovely experience. I am sure she will still be looking out for her beloved boys.
It will be two years in February that we lost Gemma too and I am struggling so much but try to take each day as it comes. I just hope that I will feel better after the two year anniversary.
Much love to you all xxx
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Dear Marina,
I feel so sad that Charlie and Coren have to go through life without their beloved mummy so that was a lovely experience for Charlie and I am sure that she was there with him. xxx
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Hello Victoria , and all my dear friends,
How lovely it is that Charlie had this little sign from his beloved Mummy, lets hope he gets more in the future. Our little signs seem to have have stopped, but the most upsetting thing is I am still getting emails which are suppose to come from Dawn , when I first had one last January on my 70th birthday ,I was so excited, but Sarah my daughter , brought straight down to earth, and said mum how could that possibly be . Then another just before Xmas,. oh I wish so much ,could it be a sign from heaven ? Maddie xxx
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I guess there is a lot we dont understand. I would love to answer the phone and it be Lisa with her special way of saying hello. She would say 'Hey! How are you?
She always sounded so happy.
Love to you. Kate xx
Dear all lovely friends,
I came across this poem and thought I would share it with you:
As I sit in heaven and I watch you everyday, I try to let you know with signs that I never went away. I hear you when your laughing and watch you as you sleep I even place my arms around you to calm you as you weep. I see you wish the days away begging to have me home, so I try to send you signs so you know your not alone. Don’t feel guilty because you have a life that I was denied to me. Heaven is truly beautiful just you wait and see, so live your life laugh again, enjoy yourself and be free then I know with every breath you take you’ll be taking one for me.
xxx
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I can relate to that…when Christian used to call he would start by saying (Hello it’s only meeee)…only me, oh if only…things and sayings we took for granted mean so much to us now now. xxx
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Hello Victoria,
What a lovely poem Victoria, that really says it all .
Love Maddie xxx
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The poem was read at Nell Gifford’s funeral service this week. She created Giffords Circus and was so inspirational xxx
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Dear friends. I am not replying to any of you individually but I haven’t worked out how to just post.
Anyway. Our little granddaughter Brooke has just turned 4 and she has suddenly leapt ahead overnight .
She has obviously been thinking about all that had happened over the past 8 months since her Mummy took Ill
I am guessing it’s all been in there but until now she couldn’t put into words exactly what she needed to ask.
However, over the past couple of weeks she has been asking for confirmation of certain things.
Today she first of all made a statement about how her Mummy was very sad and crying at the airport on the way back from holiday. She said her Mummy wasnt well and Daddy had to get a doctor. So I said ok, that’s right.
So then she said why was Mummy crying Granny?
I said, well darling Mummy was worried about getting home to see her Doctor at the hospital in Inverness and just wanted to get on the plane and get home.
Ok she said but the plane went to the wrong airport and we had to stay in a hotel then Mummy went in an ambulance to a hospital. Then you came Granny and took me home. Then we went in the car for a long time and Daddy and Auntie Jemma were there and Mummy was in another hospital.
I said, that’s amazing darling that you remember so well.
Then Daddy said the doctors couldn’t make my Mummy better. Yes I know my love. But why Granny , Doctors are supposed to make you better Granny. I said yes darling but they tried so hard but nothing worked.
Then she just sighed and said ‘ok’.
Amazing little person.
With love Kate xx
Dear Kate,
I guess Brooke is trying to make sense of what has happened in her own little way.
With Charlie we answer his questions honestly and in a way that he can understand, with lots of love and cuddles.
Bless them … they will find their way and we will be there, helping them to walk confidently into their future. xxx
I tried to be honest too. She processed my answers and then after saying ‘ok’ she went quiet for a few minutes. Then she just bounced back and started singing nursery rhymes. Wee sausage. They are such a joy for us. A gift from our lost children.xx
Hello All,
What a lovely experience for Charlie, children are very receptive. That was certainly your daughter who walked beside Charlie. They are here with us everyday. That is a lovely poem and makes me cry…because it is so true. Our love for them will never cease and I know their love for us and our family always goes on. You are all very lucky to have grandchildren, although | am lucky to have the three grandchildren from my other son. All we can do is to try and keep going until it is our time and then we’ll see them again
with love
Helen
Hello Everyone , just wondered how you were all doing? we are now well in to the new year, and I though I would be feel[ng a bit better ,after the anniversary and xmas.,but the tears are still flowing. I think it must be that Dawn seems to be getting further and further away. My Grandaughter came last night and we always talk about Dawn,but I told her I have a job now to remember her voice,and how could I possibly do that? I have started a new bereavement group,there is only a few people there and we do have a bit of a laugh. But I must admit after Dawn passed, I saw the Doctor and he only wanted to give me pills ,then a councillor, then bereavement group, but I must say that all of you on this wonderful site ,brings me the most comfort , in my grief. Take care Maddie
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I am so pleased to hear from you. Yes, this site is such a comfort to us all.
It is 6 months by the date since Lisa left us and my elder daughter and I took Brooke to softplay. It was noisy and busy but she had lovely time. Easier when I go with Jemma as when I take her on my own I am always looking for Lisa in the cafe queue. She would always wave and smile whilst I watched Brooke. Everywhere there are memories. It’s so hard at times. I am ok mostly but feel sad all the time inside.
Love to you and all dear friends here. Xxx
Hello Maddie & Kate and all here on this site.
Just in the last few minutes I was talking to Sam’s picture as I do most day’s I always talk out loud to him, it brings me comfort. I opened my computer and there was a message from Maddie. Just yesterday I was on Facebook and thinking of Sam, his best friends Danny and Emma had posted pictures of their trip snowboarding and underneath where you can like a post…it said Sam Bater, Jason Iles (his very best friend) and you like this post…but not for a very long time. I have had this happen before and when I went to see a Medium (Marcus) he told me they will use anything that they can manipulate because of the energy it gives off. I knew straightaway it was Sam, I am very lucky I can feel him all around me and Marmaduke my cat will stare at the doorway from the lounge to the kitchen/diner which is exactly where Sam used to stand and say to me “mum I thought you said it was on the table”…meaning his dinner!! Even now I miss all the little things he would say, the funny things…Jason once said to me if you asked Sam if he wanted to do a thing, he would say “hell yeah”…not the usual hell no, he was completely off the wall, John and I tried when he had split up with his girlfriend not to go off travelling around the World (so glad I didn’t succeed) we said how are you going to pay for this…his reply, I’ve borrowed £5,000 from the bank, we asked how can you pay that back…he said how they gonna catch me!! Yet he worked his way right round the World and sent home each month the payment. There is so many memories I could write a book, and they sustain me until I pass and I can see him once again.
With love
Helen
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That’s so lovely to hear. Jemma was saying today that when she picked Brooke up Jamie was stressing about only being able to go back to work part time. Jemma tried to lay all the figures out for him, saying he wouldn’t have a mortgage of over 500 a month anymore so he should be fine with the life insurance etc but he was saying no no no to everything. Jemma was so frustrated with him but knows he is struggling having to make all the decisions himself.
So when I was walking the dogs this afternoon I talked out loud to Lisa, telling her Jamie was worrying and could she gently speak to him, help him along.
Blow me! When Jemma took Brooke home she said he was completely different having got it all straight in his head.
I am sure Lisa was helping him work things out.
Strange but I am sure she listens.
With live to you all
Kate xx
Hello Maddie, Helen, Kate and all,
I love hearing from you all. You are the ones who sustain me and keep me going. You understand how I feel, the madness and the sadness.
It will be 2 years on Saturday since we lost Gemma and it still feels raw at the moment.
I suffer from anxiety now which I never did before but hoping I will pick up after Saturday. I have cut my hours at work so that will definitely help. Still not sure whether to completely retire or not!
Helen, Sam sounds such a lovely person and I love the way you talk about him.
Much love to you all xxx
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Well, as I have said so many times, joining you all here has been the best thing I have done since losing Lisa.
The pain and loss and missing is always there but we are all learning to live alongside it I think. We are only 6 months on but I know I am much better. Still have the complete meltdowns but they are less often. The void is vast but i am learning to cope as i hope you all are.
Hugs and love.
Kate xx
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