Lost Mum/Dad - Daily chat (part 2)

I’ve started a new thread, since the other one reached its limit.

Thanks Daffy!
Just chiming in.
Didnt know there is a 500 posts limit.
Hope you have a calm night.
Its 6:30 pm where I am.
Ell

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Good morning, how is everyone? Had a right nightmare day yesterday let’s hope for better days x

Hello everyone, I have to say, the limit was a surprise to me too! This platform came with a lot of settings I could customise, but I had not come across this one yet.

(A platform is like the basic framework for the site, which we have customised to our needs. It saves the charity time and money compared with building a site completely from scratch).

I can have a look and see if I can increase this limit if you would prefer. Or maybe you would prefer to use the new thread, given that there was a lot of content to scroll through on the old one? Let me know what you think.

I will tag in as many of the regular users as possible to help them find this thread. @Shaun73 @Jooles45 @C1971 @Barrie1376 @MrsColt

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I think a new thread is good. X

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Had a bittersweet day yesterday. It was my husbands birthday so it was nice. Missed my mum bringing my husband his favourite cakes. We drank red wine after a steak dinner cooked at home. But I of course got tearful and upset which I really didn’t want to do on his birthday and then got cross with everyone for not understanding. I’m so cross with myself this morning for making it about me. I just cannot control my emotions when I have had a drink.

I wouldn’t worry about it emotions have to come out somewhere and the closest people to you will understand x

Hi Sam and Jooles,
Everyday is tough. I am now 8.5 months out almost and I dont know why but you know how you wake up every day and re-remind yourself that your life is upside down? That repeated experience is subsiding for me. I am starting to enter the mode where I am scared I might start forgetting his voice, mannerisms, and just the strength of the memories. My brother in law lost his mom over 10 years ago and he said that this new fear is another grief phase and that you dont forget.
Sam - if you have a rough day, make sure you give yourself space to cry and express that, if you are driving, try to pull over.
Jooles - every first is hard and your family will understand as Sam says. I can not drink, it will put me in a bad place right quick.
Ell

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I’ve woken up crying today jooles, have given myself a headache, and stormed out of the house not speaking to my partner because he doesnt understand.
8 and a half months for me today and the world is still very bleak x

We are a right lot aren’t we. At least we can talk on here and everyone understands. X

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Ells. I probably shouldn’t drink either. But I find it a real release. And I look
Forward to it. Then I have a few glasses start to cry and go to bed. So it’s not ideal

Had a dream last night about my dad who has COPD. in my dream the phone rang and he was on the other end and he said “help I can’t breath”. I woke up with a fright. Had to text him first thing this morning. Now I’m worrying that it’s some kind of premonition
This Coronavirus worries me as my dad is very vulnerable

I agree, new thread is good.

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What date did your dad die ell?

Definitely. X

Hi Ell
That sort of happened to me yesterday. I was walking through the hall and had to stop and I thought, mum walked through here only a couple of months ago and it seem such a long time ago, yet it is only two months. Then I composed myself and remembered.

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Jooles
The chances of him catching it are very small but I agree it’s a concern particularly as he has COPD.
Make sure he knows the signs and symptoms (fever, coughing, breathing difficulties) so that he can tell someone straight away.
When I lost my dad I was panic stricken I was going to lose my mum as well even though she was only 53, fit and healthy. I think this is just a natural reaction and new fear so try not to worry. X

Barrie
I came home from work at midnight last night and was convinced mum was going to be there to answer the front door and hear about my day, yet it’s been 8 and a half months since she did that.
I think this wont leave us for some time. Even moving house wont sort it and I’m desperate to leave as if it’s going to be some sort of magic cure

Thank you Cheryl. If it starts to really spread here I might get him to come and live with us until it passes. If I can convince him. So stubborn.

Cheryl. It’s so hard being in the same house. I know dad struggles. He still calls out “I’m home love”
It just crucify you. But it’s not as simple as moving.

I know.
My daughter and partner want to stay put and I’m scared I will just find new ways to grieve in another house but with a financial implication attached x

June 16th
6/16
Its a palindrome that totals 13
Not sure why that matters
A month later, the man who introduced my parents, also died
7/15 also equals 13
A month after that a man who came to my dad’s funeral who knew my dad from when they were 5! Also died 8/13
He was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer a week before he passed away
Ell

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