I called her back, it was only to say she was on her way down as she was off work for a few days, we talked about how each of our Christmas went and how she was doing back at work.
Iām always in tears when I come on here, Iām just like everyone else, who can feel the words Iām reading from others, I feel other peopleās pain as well as my own, Iām just grateful to everyone on here for saving me, for helping me talk without actually saying two words, for listening when I needed it especially on my darkest of days.
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Hi Lucy51
Im so pleased you called her, maybe give her big hug when you see her.
I too am in tears with the messages i read, we are all grieving in different ways but also very similar. Some of the shares i read break me even more but at the same time they also comfort me, comfort me to know im not alone. Thank you all so so much. Big hugsā¤ļø
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My mum passed 6 weeks ago , the new year starting hasnāt helped me feeling low , has anybody else found this , just feels a whole year ahead a not seeing them again
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Sorry for your loss your in the right place to talk keep doing it, Iāve found it helps talking to people who are also grieving my mum passed away 12 weeks tomorrow and for every step I take forward i feel like Iām taking two back x
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Hi Nitt
Sorry for the loss of your mum. My mum passed 4 weeks ago so were pretty much in the same time frame. Shit isnt it ? Every day a different emotion and xmas and new year made this much worse. We are both very early on in the grieving process and seeing ahead is really something im not thinking about. Take each day one at a time, take small steps and dont try to push yourself. Grieve as slow as you need to. Im off work cause cant face going back yet, maybe take time yourself this way. Talk to family/friends try not to bottle it all up, cryā¦ a lot. Losing my mum was the worst day of my life, i miss her so much, she was amazing and i try to focus on the fact that she brought me up to be strong and kind and i will honour her memory every day in some way.
Big hugs to you and take care of yourselfā¤ļø
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Yes, I feel the same way about my dad. I try very hard not to think about it and only focus on the day ahead of me, thatās the only way to cope with the panic. 
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Hi all
Im due back at work on wednesday after being off for 5 weeks, im getting really nervous about this for some reason, my heart keeps racing, im still not sleeping too well, not eating properly yet and still emotional. Am i making excuses ? Should i just get back into it as gotta go back st some point ? My hubby says do what ever i need to do but thats the problem cause i dont know what to do for the best.
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Iām very much the same, I was due back end of this week just canāt face it doctor has signed me off for another month it was causing me a lot of stress just thinking about it I just want my mum to say everything is going to be ok, I long to hear her voice at the end of the phone even if she did sometimes phone me 3 times a day, just when I thought I was taking that step forward feeling like Iāve stepped back to the day she died and the nightmare just wonāt go away, feeling quite emotional today x
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Hi lucy
I am quite emotional today myself, i thought was coping quite well and so could face work again but i dont think i can. I have to be on top form as work in fashion retail and am expected to deal with customers. I just cant paint on that happy smile just yet knowing i will never smile with my mum againš
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Going back to work on reduced hours for a while might help if thatās possible , talking to people and keeping busy for a few hours may help , be kind to yourself also
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Hi
Thank you, i have thought i need to go back for normality in my life but nothing is ever gona be normal againšthank you for taking time to messageā¤ļø
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Hi Louise12345, Iām so sorry that you have lost your mum. Iāve been off work since I lost my Dad 8 weeks ago. Iāve just been signed off for what will be the 3rd month. Everybody is different but in my case Iām just not fit for work, I have to work with traumatised people and do not feel capable of doing this until Iām in a better headspace.
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Iām the same my role is customer facing a work front counter in a community pharmacy so dealing with patients all day how can I stand there and listen to whatās wrong with them knowing Iāve just lost my mum I know itās only 2 day a week but itās stressfull and then Iāll be getting asked were Iāve been x
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Iāve also just been signed off for my 3 month, canāt face the thought of dealing with patients at the moment till Iām capable and Iām too emotional at the moment to listen to patients ailments I work in a busy pharmacy front counter so no way I can even think of having a conversation with anyone verbally x
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Hi Isolde82
Thank you for your message. Sorry to hear about the sad loss of your dad. What an emotional time we are all going through. I never thought it would be like this and im not sure how il feel tomorrow let alone next week. We all have responsible busy lives that we need to get back too but first, your right, we need to be in the right headspace to do this. 
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Hi Lucy51
I only work 3 days a week so like you its not for long but i know il have to be all talkative with customers etc an i dont think i can do itš
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I can totally understand that too, itās very difficult in a public facing role isnāt it. We need to be able to focus fully on them and we will know if / when weāre ready. I found so much job satisfaction dealing with traumatised people before but feel too broken hearted & miserable to do a good job at the moment. 
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Definitely, I think we will know when the time is right for us.
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We will each know when the time is right, Im just scared to make that leap I think, that it will make me look like Iām accepting sheās gone and moving on and I canāt do that as I canāt accept sheās not here anymore it hurts too much x
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