I hope yesterday was not too difficult for you @Matt1.
It was very sad taking his stuff out and undoing his work. I was impressed how he’d put it together. I was crying again last night. How have you been?
It was hard, but needed doing so I had to get on with it, but still hurts
I can imagine it wasn’t easy and it’s heartbreaking packing away years of someone’s life in a matter of days. You have made that step and as you say, it needed to be done. Did you keep something of your brother’s?
I’m a bit better today thank you. I’m meeting my friend today so have a reason to get up and ready. She’s a good friend who offers support and means it.
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I didnt mean to sound such advice or suggestion of your sons stuff… i TRULY APOLOGIZE!! I words get too jumbled in my head sometimes and in typing/texting vs talking words dont state properly im so sorry. I cant even IMAGINE LOSING 1 of my children. Please forgive me and know you are in my thoughts Anne, big hugs!!
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I’m going to get a ring with his ashes in it. My mum is too. He’s more than just the things he left behind obviously, but I still want part of ‘him’ if you know what I mean. It’ll be the most precious thing I have. Glad you had someone to see you today.
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@Seester please don’t worry about your messages and there’s really no need to apologise. I know your words come from a kind place and you mean well. We’re all on this journey together and I appreciate your support and kind words 
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That’s lovely @Matt1 for you and your mum. It’s something I considered myself with my son’s. Just to hold our loved one’s as close to us as possible . Today was a better day thank you. I hope yours was too.
It has been a bit of a struggle. I’ve cried several times, and feel quite weak today. Hopefully tomorrow will be a bit calmer. X
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One day at a time
Yes. It’s like trying to kid my brain everything’s alright, and then my brain says, who are you trying to kid?
It’s still so surreal even after the funeral.
I never imagined him not being here. I had no time to think about what that would be like because he died unexpectedly. If he had been terminally ill over a long period of time, I don’t think i could have coped. I don’t know how that must feel.
My dad had terminal cancer and I accepted his passing easier than my brother’s. We always say my dad left us earlier than we wanted because he had to be with my brother…his youngest son.My brother died unexpectedly and I didn’t cope well at all that first year especially.Now my son isn’t here… I know not to torture myself with wondering what I could have done differently because it doesn’t change anything. Today might be better or worse than yesterday but we just need to get through it anyway we can.
I’ve found not trying to concentrate on it when I’m around other people doesn’t work for very long, and makes me feel guilty. Anything can set me off thinking about him.
You have to do whatever you can to help get through each day. What works for one might make another feel worse. Some days I think my son is working away like he used to as it’s the only way I can cope. I’ve just managed to have a conversation with my eldest about his brother’s final resting place without crying yet at the shop earlier I started crying because I didn’t have to buy his favourite drink. It’s ups and downs 
I found that too. I can talk about the serious stuff and organising things, but then silly things set me off, or when I’m alone I start to think about him again.
It catches you when you least expect it… usually for me it’s when I’m out. I can think about my brother and dad now without breaking down. It does get easier in time even though you can’t imagine it just yet as it’s all still so recent.
How are your sister in law and neice coping?
My niece asks where he is occasionally. She’s told he’s in the sky with the stars now. My sister in law is doing really well holding things together, but I’m not there seeing how she is day in day out so I can only imagine it’s as hard as you would expect.
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How old is your niece if you don’t mind me asking? I’m sure it will be confusing for her and yes, your sister in law will be hurting I’m sure but I can imagine she’s trying to hold it together for your niece. My eldest son is an adult and I am still trying to hold it together for him. I would a different person without him here to be honest.