Lost my husband suddenly in November

Hi, I’m new to this forum. Been reading posts since I lost my husband suddenly last November, he was only 56, I’m 51 , life is so cruel. I’m heartbroken and feel I can’t be in this world without him. I’m struggling everyday feel so sad and lonely and so scared for the future. I also feel I can’t talk to anyone and feel I’m getting on peoples nerves , so I try to be normal but crumbling inside. Wish we could all turn back time x

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I feel exactly the same Steph every day is a struggle. I can’t wait to go to sleep at night to get respite from the pain. 56 is no age :disappointed_relieved: my husband was 67 when I lost him 3 months ago to a sudden heart attack. I think I am still a bit in shock and disbelief that he is gone and I am on my own. We had so many plans for our retirement which have been cruelly snatched away. Like you I am scared for the future and just want to be with him again. I have amazing family and friends who have been so supportive but I just want Colin back. My home is my refuge it’s where I feel safe, just me and my little dog.
We will get through it, we have no other choice do we.
Sending positive thoughts
V xx

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Thank you for your kind words. My husband had a massive heart attack, he went out to work all seemed fine then got a phone call and my life just collapsed around me. You never think anything like this would ever happen to you. I feel safe at home aswell, my youngest daughter who’s 21 lives at home with me , my other two daughters live with their partners. My youngest daughter was so close to her dad it’s heartbreaking.
My thoughts are with everyone on here .
Steph.

It’s the shock isn’t it, your life is going along perfectly then BAM your world has been totally shattered and will never be the same again. I have lived a charmed life for 60 years then I lost my Mum and three weeks later my husband :sob: I keep wondering what I have done that would warrant me being punished like this. It’s good you have your girls as you can support eachother and grieve together. Its just :poop: isn’t it
V x

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Yes it is :poop:I’m so sorry it must be so hard losing your mum and husband so close :cry:
I think this forum will help don’t feel so alone.
Thank you
Steph x

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Keep posting on here, we are all going through the same and there are fabulous people on here who will listen to you, give you advice and understand exactly what you are going through, you are not alone :disappointed_relieved: I have found it so helpful to discuss my feelings with others in the same boat and I am sure you will also.
Take care
V x

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Thank you x

Dear Steph & Mrs Colt, I’m so sorry for your losses and losing your mum as well Mrs Colt I find so difficult to know how you cope. I too have been reading this forum since I suddenly & unexpectedly lost my husband in September he was 53 I’m 48 we were together 27 years and have 3 children, my boys are 22 & 19 and my daughter is 15 and luckily they all live at home. It gives me comfort knowing I’m not the only one going through this absolute despair & heartache ( & madness at times) whilst trying to put a brave face on for the children. I think the suddenness of the way we all lost our husbands is the hardest thing to accept and come to terms with, it’s just like they’ve vanished into thin air. Our last conversation was about me moving some meetings & postponing a lunch for him, how can that be our last bloody conversation! I’m thinking of us all and how our lives change in an instant, certainly makes me look at everything through different eyes. Where have our lovely men gone xxx

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Hi chel,
I’m so sorry for your sudden loss aswell, it’s such a devastating shock when one minute your husband’s there and like you say vanished into thin air, and still thinking they’re are gonna come through the door, it doesn’t feel real, just like a nightmare that you want to wake up from . Also being so young and thinking about the years ahead without them😢 so many plans just gone .
Thinking of you and your family x

Thank you Steph, for your kind words, thinking of you & your children too. Xxx

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Oh Chel that is awful that you lost your husband at such a young age. You will be grieving for the future that has been cruelly taken away. I wonder if we have a bit PTSD after the sudden shock we have all been through. Colin wasn’t feeling well, went to Hospital to get an MRI scan to see what the problem was and took a heart attack en route next thing Im getting the phone call that shattered my world. Like you I can’t comprehend how my life changed in the blink of an eye :disappointed_relieved: It was a time I needed my Mum more than ever but I didn’t have her either. We were only married 10 years after being in :poop: marriages we were lucky to find eachother but I wanted so many more years with him.
Your children will keep you going and you need to keep plodding on for their sake even when you are at rock bottom :frowning:
Keep in touch and use the forum when you need to, it really does help knowing you are not alone.
V xx

There is no time for grief, it’s always with you, you just find a way to carry on with them in your heart and thoughts. I lost my husband 9 months ago, sudden death , he was at work only 55 years old. I’m plodding along, existing some days, I try so hard for my children as they lost their Dad , I can’t fall apart they wouldn’t cope. Keep strong everyone :heart:

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It’s so hard isn’t it, to try and be strong and keep a brave face in front of the kids.
To be faced with this devastating pain, emptiness,the constant sadness and feeling so scared of life without our husbands is the worst nightmare in the world.

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My heart goes out to you I can relate to everything you say, I lost my husband to a sudden heart attack in September last year he was away from home at the time(500miles) on a fishing trip on the Isle of Skye. I have struggled immensely to cope I am lucky to have a good support network of family and friends but I still find it hard to believe that John has actually died and the door will not open and he won’t be walking back through it. Xx

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Hello DianeC

I have that picture of “walking through the door” - but not ever again - clearly; my brother died of a congenital heart condition when he was nineteen. So many years ago now, but there are so many odd things that seem to glue themselves in your mind and pop up every now and then. I suspect every thought and feeling will always be “in there” forever - as one goes through life things will trigger them and often everything, absolutely everything one ever felt in the early parts of grief become visible again, but the pain is less. It does get less with time. And as time moves on that awful stabbing panicking desperation a lot of you guys feel about losing your partner will be replaced with a smile of a memory, and a thankfulness that that person had been your husband/partner/friend … You deserve to have those memories; so the person you lost also deserves those memories.

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Thank you Dianne C for your kind words. We feel we’re the only one in the world going through this ,like we’ve been punished and picked out. But to know there are people in the same boat, you realise you are not alone. It’s a cruel world.
Hopefully Sven like you say we can hope to feel less pain and to smile again x

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Sorry DianeC

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And to lose our husbands in their fifty’s, so young.
Thinking of you, in this nightmare we are living in x

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Dear MrsColt, sorry for the delayed reply, my daughter has been particularly bad this week, she’s started bereavement counselling and went for healing, which I must admit was lovely so I also ended up having some. You are completely right about PTSD this is something I feel we all have when trying to cope with the suddenness of losing our husbands/partners it’s the continuous playing over the day they went and trying to make sense of it which is impossible particularly in your case losing your mum then husband how can that make sense. My husbands mum is still alive nearly 83 years old smokes 40 cigarettes a day is fit & well has the energy of a 60 year old, never sits down is always on the go, how does that work!!! Your so right about grieving for all the plans for the future, he’d planned to buy a boat this year to spend some time sailing around the Amalfi Coast, he had taken me there for my birthday as he did every year exactly a month before he died. I know we are all so lucky to have beautiful memories but they shouldn’t be memories we should all still be making many years worth of them, but aren’t we lucky to have been loved and to have loved, but it’s just so bloody hard to accept xx

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I lost my husband of 30 years in November as well. Heqas59 and I am 54. I too am struggling big time. Please feel free to message me to talk any time
Leo xxx

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