Hi Anny
Its good to hear that you are going out, Even if it is an emotional effort and even if you dont stay long it seems an important step to going forward.
Very best wishes
Julia
Hi Girls, nice to hear from old and new voices on this forum. My husband died 18 months ago today (aged 53) and all I can say is Iâm surviving, as are my daughters (22/24). We do laugh and we do smile Now with more regularity and we do remember how lucky we were . My present and future lives are so different from the ones I imagined. Life is for living and we owe it to those not here to live it. Iâm not sure yet that I can say it gets easier but I do believe mindset and outlook are important forces in your survival toolbox. So are good friends and kindness and care. Love to you all Cx
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Dear Chell,
Mrs Colt has hit the nail on the head, we do have PTSD.
How is your daughter? I hope that the healing did some good for both of you, it is true that at such a young age you should still be making memories. We were lucky, I do realise that, we had all those years together and 3 and a 1/2 years before then, when we were âwalking outâ.
Take good care of yourself,
Blessings
MaryL
Hi all,
Sunday again, I think itâs one of the hardest days to get through, tend to sit and think more.
Yesterday was a bad day cried all day, done normal things like food shopping and washing and thinking what is the point .
My husband Tim started decorating the hall, so itâs half done so today Iâll think I will try to finish it, couldnât face it before , but want to finish off what he started. Just upsetting that he wonât see it finished.
Hope everyone trying to stay strong.
Steph x
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How was your night out Annie? 
xx
Crazy Kate
Itâ was ok, I was very anxious all night but I managed to get through the night, thereâs a lot of strange people out there , but the people that I went out with were such good company, think I might do it again but not for a while
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Well done Annie. Your man will be so proud of you. Good company is worth a lot and provides a distraction even if only for a short time. Iâm pleased it was ok for you. Take care. Xx
Hi Steph
I really donât like sundays as itâs the day my husband Chris passed away, Iâve had days that Iâve cried all day I just think itâs part of the grieving process that we all have to go through itâs all about our feelings that we have for our loved ones, and I believe the more you loved them the harder it is, we traveled a lot and lived our lives together didnât matter about anyone else, we could have lived on a desert island and we would have been happy, and thatâs the problem because the more you live or travel the more memories you have, and thatâs all you have left so I believe that we have to life our lives as best as we can for them also
Take care
Annie xx
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Hi Julia
I had a nice evening it was odd at times especially when some music was played and the memories just flowed in my mind sad but I think we have to go through this itâs all about feelings and emotions isnât it.
Take care
Annie
Hi Annie
I too had my first night out since Colin passedâ:scream: I have been out for lunch with friends several times but last night was my first proper evening out. A meal and drinks in a few local haunts. I bumped into a couple of people some who knew Colin had passed others who didnât but my Sister stepped in and did the needful, didnât stop me welling up mind you but people in general are kind and compassionate. I canât say I enjoyed it like I would had Colin been with me but thatâs never going to happen again so I/we need to adjust to this new life. At least we have done it now and lived to tell the tale. Well done us 
V xx
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Well done, Anny and V, both of you have taken a big stride in the right direction, I do not mean to be patronising,
A very good friend of mine (she has been constant in her support) has asked me to go to Bingo with her, neither of us likes it much but at least it will give me something to look forward to. My friend told me that it was very entertaining listening to the comments of some of those who were there. her husband died a long time ago whilst they were quite young, she does understand what grief is all about.
Take care, both of you,
Love,
Mary x x
Hi Mary, thank you I am quite proud of myself having gone out and survived it 
You should go to the Bingo with your friend, I went once and it wasnât my cup of tea the numbers were shouted out to quickly for my brain capacity 
but it was a good laugh and I am sure you will enjoy the company and interaction with others. Remember if your numbers come up I want a share of your winnings 
Love
V xx
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Hi Anny,
Thank you for your lovely message, youâre right in what you say, lovely memories will live with us forever.
Youâre very brave going out on your own , I feel I couldnât yet but in time maybe.
Everyoneâs so lovely on this site, you feel you can say what youâre feeling because weâre all in the same boat, especially when you feel you canât talk to people around you because they expect you to be over it. Just because their lives are still the same they expect you to be , itâs so upsetting when they donât know how you feel, but this site is helping me a lot. Thank you everyone on here.
Sending love .
Steph x
Just made a start on clearing out Colinâs âMan caveâ He was into target shooting so I have given a lot of these things to his friends from the various clubs he was in but there is a lot I have no clue about so have bagged it up for disposal. Had to sell his beloved guns asap due to the licencing laws 
sad to think of the hours he spent stripping & polishing them & now they are gone. I keep thinking he will be so angry at me getting rid of everything but reality has hit me that he is not coming back so I need to make a start no matter how much it is hurting. Will take it slowly and do a bit every time I feel up to it which will take months probably
Sending love to all of you struggling today
V xx
Hi V,
Iâve been struggling today, I need to get it in my head that Timâs not coming back, trouble is when I think that, I canât handle it so I keep busy to try not to think .
Youâve done well making a start on colinâs bits, it must of been really hard sorting through the stuff he loved . I know I must think of doing that but as you say itâs when we feel we can , doesnât matter how long it takes.
Keep strong.
Steph x
Sorry you are struggling today Steph, itâs a living hell isnât it. I honestly donât know how we get through each day. Itâs 14 weeks for me without Colin when it first happened I never thought I would survive it and still be here months later but I am and so are you and all the others on here so well done us
Keep your chin up lovely
XX
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Thank you ,
Yes weâll done all of us on here, letâs keep each other strong.
Sending hugs,
Steph x
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So sorry to hear of your loss. My husband passed away suddenly in December, thankfully at home. I keep getting flashbacks to that day and finding him. I know I need to try and put those thoughts to the back of my mind and focus on the good times but grief is such a horrible thing. Now the days are getting longer I am finding it harder as think of all the things we were looking forward to doing. Thankfully, we have the support of everyone on here which has been a great comfort to me so far and together we can get each other through this xx
Hi anst,
So sorry for the loss of your husband.
Itâs such a shock sudden loss, one minute every thing is normal and then bang everything changes in an instant. And we never think it would happen to us. My husband went out to work all was fine, then I got a phone call , he had a cardiac arrest, was on machines for three days but he was already gone nothing they could do. My whole world has fallen apart.
I also keep getting flashbacks like you itâs so horrible and with the better weather coming we had so many plans.
My thoughts are with you, keep posting on here, it has made me feel a bit better as everyone understands exactly what youâre feeling, youâre not alone .
Keep strong.
Steph x
I too lost my husband and mum within 10months last year my advice to you is to try and keep busy you will cry when you need to its not easy but its helped me