I still have mu husbands ashes although I have taken two lots out and scattered them in favourite places. What are the ashes jewellery you talk about, I haven’t heard of it and where do you get it from. It sounds like a nice idea.
On the one hand we feel better when the sun shines on the other it can be quite upsetting because we would have been strolling round somewhere together or just sitting in the Conservatory with the radio on doing the crossword or suduko. It’s lonely isn’t it. I think I am better when I don’t think about anything other than what I am doing at the time.
I lost my husband just before Christmas and it seems we all feel the same. I can only hope things will become a bit easier with time. I have tried to be strong and my family are wonderful but when I am alone I am a mess. We were married for almost 53 years and retired early at age 53 and spent all our time together particularly since retirement. We did lots of travelling and I feel I must carry on with that but how do you do it on your own. I feel very lonely even when I’m in a crowd.
Hi June I know exactly what you mean we would have been out there as Phil used to say.Im never farf rom tears and just thinking about that makes me cry.
I think we cry for ourselves too, at the life we re missing and that we have to make do with this other life weve been given.
The ashes jewellery comes in different sorts.
I have a heart shaped pendant which I had engraved. You put some ashes inside, they
supply you with a little funnel. Theres a top which you screw on but I superglued mine as well because I nearly lost it once.
I also have a bracelet with a small barrel. I have a lock of his hair in this.
There are lots of different types. I got mine on ebay.
Ive forgotten the company name but will check and let you know.
I never take mine off and have ashes saved in case I want to buy something else.
Hi Angron Its true, were all in the same boat trying to keep afloat.
I lost my husband of 48 years in July.
We also did everything together.
I miss him more every day. He was my soulmate and my best friend.
Somehow we have to try and go on because thats what they would want us to do.
Youve come to the right place here. Its been a lifesaver for me.
However bad you feel you can say it all on here because were all feeling the same,
And will understand.
I feel lonely even with lots of people around because the only person I yearn for is not here,
Thanks for replying.im sure this forum will help and I know I’m not alone in feeling the way I do. It’s awful to think of how many of us there are feeling the same way.
Angron, we are all in the same journey, trying the best we can to cope with this new strange life we now have. I have been told that one day this fog lifts - on the other hand life won’t be the same again .
Welcome to this forum! It is an absolute saviour! You can say anything and we understand it
I feel like I have lost touch with you all… unfortunately for me and the kids things have been even harder … emotionally financially and physically I have been plumpiting deeper of late …my faith in getting through has been at an all time low and have not felt like I could contribute anything positive to the group…
how low things have become really hit Rock bottom for us this week when my beautiful 5 year old little girl scarlett was taken into hospital by ambulance my son clung to my leg sobbing please mummy don’t let her go there like daddy she won’t come back …it hit me how fragile as a little family we have become and how effortlessly we are treading water at the moment…
Scarlett had been sent home from school with a high fever later in the night she had become very I’ll and whilst talking to nhs staff a rash had appeared and before I knew it I was in an ambulance with her…
I thank God that she is now home after hospital admissions doctors and monitoring she was cleared …the strength u build up the milestones u get past all came crashing down and u realise u are alone… alone in being a parent …I don’t think I’ve ever cried as many silent tears as I have this week…
I’m trying to find the strength to be both parents to manage my illness to find work to provide for them and to be strong enough to grief without effecting other…and I’m failing on all counts … I’m hoping that I can find the strength to keep trying and not give up …I was listening to the song the climb …" it’s not about how fast you get there it’s about what’s waiting on the other side " . Well I’m hoping there’s a short cut …
I do hope you are all doing ok and although I have not felt like I could help in any way you have all been in my thoughts…
Hi Shelia How are you ? Did you enjoy lipstick on your collar ? I don’t go on the forum very often now and I don’t know why just seem to feel so down lately, You asked if I was going on Holiday on my own im going with my friend who ive known since we were seventeen we live quite a way from each other but try to met once a week she has been on her own for 16 years now She has lots of friend and famiiy so has a busy life, I am going to see my Brother on Thursday for a week really looking forward to the company, The weather is getting better and the garden is coming back to life plus birds are very busy love to see them, Take care Shelia Love Pammi xx
So sorry to hear about Scarlett. I’m glad she’s better and back home now. I can understand Oliver’s panic - he’s still missing his Dad. You are doing an amazing job but parenting is so hard on your own. I really do feel for you and wish I lived nearer so I could help in some way. You need some sort of support system around you. We have a charity called Home Start in our area. A volunteer visits the family once a week to help out with the children, housework, shopping etc. Do you have anything like that where you are. I’m worried that you are trying to cope with everything and you are not well yourself.
I do hope things get better for you soon. You really do have a lot on your plate.
Hi Michelle - you are having a very hard time with so many problems coming from all directions.
You area strong woman - I am sure when your husband was around you must have been copping many situations by yourself. And now you can do the same - breathe deeply and remember that you can do it
Hi Michelle, how I feel for you and wish I could do more to support you. My situation was a little different but my first husband left me with two toddlers and I had to find a way of keeping a roof over out heads. This was many years ago and no help in those days. I had to work and managed to keep going, so I know what’s it’s like.
Without doubt you need support. In this area we also have volunteers that help struggling families, but don’t know what it’s called. I will try and find out, but do see if you can get this help, just a sympathetic shoulder to cry on with a cup of tea might make all the difference to you. The ;libraries have lists of such organisations. You will come through this terrible time but at the moment you can’t see a light at the end of the tunnel. Please don’t give up.
Hi Sheila
I think it is important for the new people in the forum to hear from your email experience.
My 92 old aunt has been a widow for 30 years and I find comforting when she tells me that the hole I feel will never go away and I will just will learn to live with it. It is real and helpful because I don’t want this grief this hole in my soul to be filled but I want to learn to live with it
Dear Sadie
I want to learn to live with it too but I don’t find it helpful when Sheila says we will feel down for ever
That just makes me panic
We must have some glimpses of joy in our lives before we too die surely ?!
I’ve been planting pots with primroses and stuff this morning
They are so pretty and the weather is so lush it has cheered me up
Enjoy your day in the garden Sheila and let it make you happy
Romy xxxx
Dear Sadie,
I worked in the garden on Sunday, but felt so sad as Brian loved his garden, and I am struggling with it. My friend who lost her husband 15 years ago, says the hurt never goes, but you have fewer sad days, Although sad days still happen, I keep thinking is this my life now, its really not what we planned. He was only 67 a very fit healthy man, until that awful day we were told he had mesothelioma and there was no cure. My daughter in law does not speak to me, as she was so nasty to me, and i can honestly say I did snap back, but I had only been on my own 5 months, and now not seeing my two granddaughters. I keep thinking would it be better if i stopped all contact with them, instead of just being the Granny that sends presents on Birthdays and Christmas. She would never have spoken to me like that if Brian was still alive, I am having my hair cut today, and nails this afternoon, so that is few less hours of loneliness
Enjoy the garden while this weather lasts