Dear All Its only been 8 months for me but already I know It wont get any better. I was always have this pain and this huge hole in my heart that can never be filled.
I may as well realise that now than be lulled into a false sense of security.
Hoping that each day that passes will make things easier.
I know this isnt going to happen for sure.
I loved Phil more than life for nearly fifty years so I know I cant come back from that.
Dont get me wrong Im making plans for holidays and such and trying to move forward as we all are.
Its all we can do but its heartbreaking and gut wrenching when you suddenly realise once more that this is permanent and hes not coming back.
At least my gardens waking up now. Ive got someone coming to jetwash the paths tomorrow. The weathers so beautiful. My daughter was here before and we sat on the terrace having lunch.
Phil used to say Shall we have tea on the terrace?
Its just a little table with two chairs on the raised patio. Were not that posh.
Dear Sandra
I to have now been on my own for 9 months
I know he’s not coming home,but I don’t like accepting it. We were married young and were so in love till the day he went. Yes like all couples we had our bad times and our tiffs, but we always had each other.
I sat in the garden Sunday and the tears just flowed However I think it did me good
Just had hair cut nails being done later, iI do wonder why I bother then I think because he would want me to do these things and try and get on with life. Though it’s not the life I want.
Summer coming and those horrible dark nights will be over
Try to keep smiling and cry when you want
I was told the tears help
XX June E
You know June, even if you are tight send a card to daughter in law apologise, say you were too emotional etc etc this way you can see your granddaughter
Sadie x
Dear june I am just the same . Still put my face on in the morning. just as I did when Phil was here.
Been out with my daughter today and still try to keep busy.
We were very young when we got married. It was love at first sight and forever after.
He was still a romantic and made me happy just being in his company every day.
Theres so much about him to miss.
Youre right about the horrible dark nights being over.
Im looking for a plant its an african daisy called sunny Phil. Suits him down to the ground, I will plant it in the garden we made for him,
It is so hard to find the motivation to be positive …but at 38 to think this is going to be long term for me and the kids is very overwhelming…
U get fed up of being fed up …I’m lucky to have my beautiful kids so I never have the option to not try and luck forward…
However I can’t lie just a bit of luck would go a long way right now …
Dear Sheila I hope you dont get lost but what a way to go, eating a cream tea.
My son and daughter are 46 and 48 next month.
They love going back to Angelsey where we spent a lot of their childhood holidays…
They remember all the details . We started with camping, then we had a campervan called Bessie. Phil spent hours doing her up and we had some wonderful times.
Its nice that they have such good memories even though we didnt have loads of money to spend.
You come to realise whats important as you get older. Think theyre getting there now.
Oops pressed send.
Better make an effort and get up. At least I have an option, you dont Michelle . It takes more strength for you because you have to get up for your little ones.
You have been so strong for them.
You probably dont feel strong but you are and Im sure your husband would be proud of the way you are moving forward,
Oh …dear me Oliver now seems to have come down with whatever Scarlett has/had when it rains it pours …
It’s comes to something when u have to budget for medicine…Oliver also has conjunctivitis…so two trips to the chemist…no body handed my purse in which does not surprise me in the village I live in …looks like another night 3 In a bed lol…
Hi sheila that was at the beginning of the week …250 pounds on way to post office to pay bills it was my own fault I was so stressed whoever found it hope they get bad luck for not being honest …that was alot to me …didn’t go doctor for oliver just chemist they said conjunctivitis which I suspected …so eye drops …then he started with same symptoms as Scarlett the calpol has bought his temp down tho …not the best half term for them .see how he is tomorrow if not back to the doctor if I drove I’d have my own spot there my dad says …least they get to sleep with mummy tho .which I secretly don’t mind …if I’m honest
I also lost my husband and best friend 4 months ago, we had been married for 27 years. I feel the pain you are talking about, I just walk around pretending I am okay but I’m really not. I cry all the time when I am by myself hoping that time will somehow make me feel better. I know it will but it is dang hard right now!