Dear Sheila
I know
It’s easy to get muddled up because there are so many different threads on the same conversation aren’t there ?
Hope it’s still sunny where you are today
Don’t know whether it helps me or makes me more sad cos Mark is not here to enjoy it
Love Romy xxxxx
I know what you mean about the weather. With all the flowers blooming and buds shooting it makes me realise John won’t ever see the beauty again xx
I know what you mean about the weather. With all the flowers blooming and buds shooting it makes me realise John won’t ever see the beauty again xx
Sheila, you go to bed with the kids, comfort them and once comfort ed and asleep you sneak out
Sadie x
hi mrs HLB im sorry to hear anout your Peter i lost my husband on 20th january 2019 and im devastated cant function my husband had motor neurone disease and he passed away at home i know what you mean about the fog it feels as though you cant cut through it and its getting heavier and heavier that at times its hard to breath x everything is so raw crying if i put the kettle on for a cup of tea crying if something comes on the television … there are alot of people on here that will listen and take the time to reply to you im here if you need a chat
take care jo xx
Hi everyone …just thought I’d let you know how the week went … scarlett picked up but unfortunately me and oliver have now come down with the virus and a hacking cough so been house bound all week … a few of you had messaged me asking about my scan …I got the results yesterday and I have been diagnosed with graves disease … I’m just waiting for that glimmer of hope that things will ever look up for me and the kids …
Take care
Michelle x
Hi Sheila,
Sorry you’ve got Sjogrens; my sister in law suffers from that and it can get you down . You seem to manage it well. I’m also a great believer in fruit and veg and find M and S meals good, in fact I rely on them as I no longer cook. It’s just too difficult as it reminds me of cooking for Paul. I’ve just emptied the spare freezer as I’ll never use it. It was a big decision but I psyched myself up to do it. There were things I’ll never eat. It was a big wrench but it’s done and another weight has lifted off me.
Take care of yourself.
Love Chris
Dear Chris
I am having such a bad day today
I think I’m getting worse not better
I don’t know why I am telling you this
I just need to tell someone
There’s only me and my mum in the house tonight and she is not well with a urine infection so I don’t want to upset her
I’m hoping for a better day tomorrow
Don’t know what to do with myself because I feel so down
Sorry to unburden myself on you
Everyone keeps telling me I’m very brave but I feel rubbish
Well done for doing the freezer
Love Romy xxxxx
Hi girls- congratulations in order for emptying the freezer !!!
My day was ok! On Fridays I look after my little 2 year old grandson - his mum needs to go to work. I enjoy his company.
Then a friend invited me for a fashion show this evening - the idea was we - about 8 girls would meet in a pub have a chat and then go to the fashion show. I was looking forward to it , even though I have a pain in my hip at the moment. I went, met the girls and after half hour I started crying!! I am not ready for this. Made my excuses and back home. I was really surprised how the tears started coming out , so very unexpected
Sadie xx
Hi Romy,
I’m sorry you’re having a bad day. When you get a day like this there’s not much you can do about it. Just go with it, have a good cry, if you want to, we know it can just turn the corner a little bit and then have a treat; chocolate or cake? Anything that’s just for you. The ‘brave’ word doesn’t help, we have no choice, we have to live through another awful day and hope tomorrow we’ll feel more able to cope. No such thing as ‘feel better ‘, is there? Just some days it doesn’t hurt quite so much.
Do you think you’re having ‘coping days’ more now ,than you did a few months ago?
Re the freezer, I left it in the garage , where it lives, to defrost overnight. It leaked all over the floor, which is filthy with leaves and cobwebs and rubbish, to make an unholy sludge. Spent this morning mucking it out. Can’t offer it to anyone so will have to get someone to dump it.
There’s always another problem, isn’t there? Why is life so difficult now.
Hope you have a better day tomorrow, let me know. Hope your Mum feels better,
X Chris
Dear Sadie
It’s so hard sometimes just to do normal stuff
Waves of grief just come at me out of nowhere triggered by the most ordinary things
Hope you feel more comfortable now you are back home
Romy xxx
i think you did really well to be honest so well done for having the strength to go in the first place xx jo take care of you
Dear Chris
Maybe it’s because I haven’t had much time on my own to cry the past few weeks because I have had my mum here most of the time being ill and I don’t want to upset her
Even if I cry somewhere else she notices that I look rough and says something to me
I just need a bit of peace for a couple of hours I think to get my head together
The freezer mess sounds horrible
I would have cried if I had had to deal with that
I started crying tonight when I found some mouldy stuff in the fridge
I don’t know what’s wrong with me today
I think the less busy I need to be in work the more lost I am feeling
I will keep my fingers crossed that I will be less miserable tomorrow. It’s wearing me out . I just want my mind to give me a bit of peace
Romy xxxxx
Hi Romy, you probably cried because your husband might have felt with it !!
All this new stuff we have to do and learn -
I pinned down on my fridge door the following:
May I be like the lotus - at ease in muddy waters
Xx
Hi Sadie,
You gave it a go but it wasn’t for you, yet. You did well to take yourself out of the situation and get home.
It’s a huge, horrible learning curve but now you know how you might feel, you’ll be better prepared and can say no thanks to invitations if they don’t suit you .
We aren’t the people we were but are different, not from choice but we have to survive
Hugs, Chris
Dear Sadie
I am going to say that to myself
It sounds apt
Romy xxx
Basically we will flower in crap haha xx
I recognise your way of life, it’s very like mine. I can’t sit at the table or do anything that we did together, no matter how tiny they were, it all just overwhelms me . I haven’t watched TV since Paul died, as we always watched together.
The stuff in the freezer had so many reminders for me. Sounds silly but I cooked meals for two and couldn’t face seeing them there. I’m glad it’s all gone.
You sound so positive about your problems, I know how much effort that takes and no one realises the struggle you have just to keep going every day.
X Chris
hi shelia i truly believe that if you dream about your peter and you wake and remember most part of that dream it wasnt a dream it was a visit from him x jo xx hope that is of some comfort to you
Hi Jo - I envy those dreams that Sheila has. I would love to have Jack in my dreams
Sadie