Hi Jo what a lovely story. I don’t know if there is another place but my husband had a few dreams . One was prior to his cousin dying…he dreamed that he had been admitted to hospital and didn’t make it. A few days later his cousin had a massive heart attack at home. Then years later he dreamed he was in a pub and his cousin was there too and he said that he hadn’t come for him he had come for his old fella, which was his pet name for his dad my husbands uncle. He died that night and we got an early morning phone call. My husbands mum went to one of thos mediums meetings and she got picked out and the medium was talking about someone with huge hands and asked her to look after ???( I can’t remember the nickname) but she said it was her dads nickname for my husband when he was a baby.
My son had a dream about his dad, who had pulmonary oedema and arrested and CPR didn’t work and died on the cruise ship on holiday. Prior to him dying he complained about his legs aching and he told my son that he hadn’t got DVT it was PVT and that his heart was not strong enough to cope. Which I now believe is pulmonary vein thrombosis. I wish I could have dream though . I feel rubbish today, it happens, no idea why I feel so weepy, I just can’t motivate myself somehow I wouldn’t be much company for anyone so I’ll just sit and paint and try and work through it. Guess I’m feeling sorry for myself what with holiday ads, cruise news brochures and then people telling me where they are going etc. I put the TV on and it was someone having CPR that didn’t help either. I haven’t heard from anyone today, weekends are busy family times but will see one son and family tomorrow.
hi june im sorry you are feeling so down today i had one of those daus yesterday x im feeling quiet today everything going over and over in my head x i would love to have the courage to go to a medium to see if i could speak to Darrell i miss him so much x so you like to paint what are you painting ? i like to do old furniture up in the middle of doing a dining room table but just keep getting side tracked made a few memory boxes for our son and daughter and for our 2 granddaughtets x when i was 14 my mum and dad bought an old chair for my bedroom on night i woke to see someone aitting in the chair and then he cane and sat on end of my bef funny thing i wasnt frightened had never seen the man before but he told me that everything would work out ok and not to worry i told my mum and she moved the chair a few weeks later i was at my grans house with my dad and my nan had been sorting through some old photos and had put a different photo in the frame that was in the top of the tele i said to my gran i wad talking to that man a few werks ago i told her what had happened and she got upset i felt awful only to find out it was her son that died while mining in a quarry when i was 2 x my dad didnt know what to say but put it this way my dad still has the chair x if you want to talk if you are feeling a bit lonely today im here xx jo x
Jo, bad days do happen- I have a list of things that can lift my mood make me busy - I find really helpful because when I am down I don’t have to think what to do I have the list …
This morning at 5 am the phone rang. No one at the end of the line - dialled 1471and it was my mobile number that it was on the table away from me …
Also Jo remember we are allowed to feel bad
Sadie x
hi your son is so right x my husband would say thank to me fir absolutely everything from giving his tea brushing his teeth not so much the shave though he used to say omg your ripping layers of skin off he did exaggerate lol x because Darrell was completley paralysed he could talk and slightly move his head but inly a couple of inches he would say can scratch my head and i would sit for ages massaging his head and moving his limbs to get blood circulating and he just kept saying thank you i dont want to be a burden abd i said but you arent a burden you are my world and if it was the other way round would you do this for me and he would say you know i would i said there you go then x then he turned round and said laughing would i have shave your face aswell cheeky devil xx hod i miss him so bloody much he had an amazing sense of humour we never argued we had disagreements but one of us would cave within a few minutes xx he was an amazing person and im so proud of him xx
Haha Jo ! You so funny!
I don’t know why the phone rang - it is a time the the smallest thing make me stop and think. My desire to hear from Jack is so great that I find meaning where probably there is none
Sadie x
Sadie i think there are signs everywhere xx and your phone ringing this morning was definitely one x as i txt that to you my house phone rang i jumped out of my skin xx im desperate to hear off Darrell and i think because im so desperate im not leaving my mind open for him to contact me x very hard xx jo xx
lonely … i cant believe how similiar we are Darrell never went to the barbers i always did his hair and i would sit on the floor while he massaged my shoulders and i would sit and massage his feet x one time he came out of the bathroom after having shave ( this was obviously when he was well) and said any chance you could just level this out for me and he was laughing i looked and he had completely shaved his side burn of on one side and i mean completely there was nothing i just looked at him and said what the hell x
yes it is supposed to be enjoyed with the ones we love Darrell hated wasting money he would say to be do you really need that if they hadnt got something in my size he would say its fate you obviously dont need it then later he would say if you want it get it lol x when i went to choose Darrell’s urn i could hear him saying i dont believe you are going to pay that for a bloody pot girl wheres your thinking x hes had it anyway x Darrell said no flowers at his funeral but i did the moon and stars for the top of his coffin i know he would of told me off but i told him it wasn’t a waste because ive recycled everything wish i could send you a pic on here to show the moon and stars they were amazing he would of been proud eventually xx God i miss him xx jo xx
Jo - are you new to this forum?
Yes - maybe I should also relax and say I am here waiting.
I just came to the sauna - although the children are very supportive etc , I have seen the routine that most Saturdays I am alone - maybe I will find an art course for Saturday afternoon - I need to see people! Have plenty to do at home but …
Life is so strange! ! I have never thought I would live without Jack
Jo - are you new to this forum?
Yes - maybe I should also relax and say I am here waiting.
I just came to the sauna - although the children are very supportive etc , I have seen the routine that most Saturdays I am alone - maybe I will find an art course for Saturday afternoon - I need to see people! Have plenty to do at home but …
Life is so strange! ! I have never thought I would live without Jack
Darrell would have little glint in hos wyes when he was goin to say or do something funny and he would turn one side of his mouth up we knew he was about to say something he was so funny language was a little strong at times i used to have to remind him about it lol x if any one came to visit and hebwas getting fed up he would tell them that their parking permit was nearly up lol (we have no parking permits where we live) when Darrell was well for breakfast he would have 2 kitkats with a drink of tea but was as fit as a fiddle he would say they were good for him he said he was having his calcium and some of his 5 a day which were the cocoa beans believe it or not x had an answer for everything x amazing man xx jo x
in October Darrell asked me to ring the funeral director he wanted to sort it out so we got him down Darrell told him exactly what he wanted and didnt want and paid for it there and then and said right thats it hasnt got to be discussed again he didnt want anyone to see him at the chapel of rest at the undertakers only our son daughter and myself that was it and he wanted one car to follow the hurst and in the car was to be our son daughter her partner and myself no one else. when Darrell passed i couldnt speak to anyone for a couple of days my mum spoke to Darrells sister in the day of his passing and kept her informed she kicked of when she was told that Darrell didnt want anyone else to see him at the chapel of rest and about the car she said she had known darrell alll his life and he did not want that she said i was controlling him its been awful her daughter got on to social media and sent some disgusting message to our 24 year old daughter and our 17 year old son that they had to block all of them she said that their dad would be disgusted in them. none of them came to visit Darrell in the 18 months he was so poorly and in 26 years ive only seen her 8 times. if she rang when darrell was well he would let it go to answer machine because he said he had to work himself up to speak to her because she was either talking about herself constantly or she would be eating while she was talking to him which he detested x she hasnt bothered to message or ring me perhaps she knew what she would get if she did no one disrespects my family if Darrell had heard her he would of said dont ever get intouch again youre finished with x
That is so very true. When my husband was ill and hardly able to walk he still insisted on doing the washing up because he said he could lean against the sink and it was the only thing he could do to help. How I miss him doing that my lovely kind beloved man.
Both Alan and myself arranged and paid for our funerals in September 2017 never thinking it be back at the funeral directors the following May to confirm the final details of Alan’s funeral, it was a blessing at a very crucial and emotional time, and I’m so glad we’d both sorted the fundamentals out beforehand. Made everything so much easier for me. Some think it’s morbid to pre arrange your funeral, but having already gone through the process it’s the best legacy you can leave your loved ones. Our daughter has also arranged hers too. Our son is in the process. They’re both single and don’t have partners, their choice after going through some emotional and traumatic relationships. At least they’re independent and solvent.
Going back to Alan’s funeral, which if february had 30 days, it would have been 9 months ago today, everything was already in place, all that was left for me to arrange were the numbers for the food, the printing of the order of service the talk with minister about Alan’s life and the engraving on the pewter urn I wanted to hold his ashes. Likewise my wishes are also already sorted to ease our children’s burden when arranging my final journey to be with Alan.
Hi I do painting by numbers but most of them are Thomas Kincade an American artist , they are complicated but when finished amazing and it’s stops me thinking especially when the phone doesn’t ring .
Hi Joe I think I know when Ive have had a visitation dream. Its so realistic like hes there. I always ask him to come into my dreams and to wake me after.
Mostly I forget but sometimes I wake after a vivid dream about him.
I write it down straight away. I always feel more positive and comforted after one of these dreams. Just wish they came more often, but now Im being greedy,
Been catching up on your posts it makes me feel incredibly stupid that we never had things in place no insurances savings or funeral plans …and that’s why I’m still struggling to pay bits off now …but he was 36 we didn’t think of any of those things ever …maybe we should have been more sensible knowing we had two small children …all I ever wanted was a family unit and to own my own home …those things will never happen for us now …I’ve realized how important security is … because you take it for granted and then when it’s gone it’s the biggest worry and burden …my children are my life and I know that I take good care off them and they love me but I feel like they have lost so much …Scarlett asked today why we couldn’t have a garden for her to play in like we used to . …and it’s amazing how such a small comment can make you feel so small…I explained why we had to leave she said she can’t really remember what daddy looks like she’s 5 and that’s heartbreaking …
She does not remember my mum either (she passed two years ago) Gary’s family don’t bother …so there’s not much family…
So I remind my self to remind my self just how lucky I am …