WOW how lucky are you x xx jo xx
I am glad you both think so too!!
I was so happy when I saw it!!
How has your week been? Have you organised things for the weekend? Weekends are a hallemge
Sadie x
My week has been a mix of fairly good moments, not so bad moments and downright bad moments plus s few anxiety attacks. This weekend will be a challenge had steroid injection around my carpel tunnel in my left hand. Had the right one done 2 weeks ago supposed to rest it, more chance of knitting fog and plaiting sawdust . Hope your week has been as good as it could be
Blessings
Jen☆
My week was odd. Visit to acupuncturist, visit to osteopath die to back /. Hip ache, then to make matters worse I twisted my ankle and feel down on the road. Since Jack died I have not been 100%.
I also licked my bag, phone and car keys inside my car and a daughter had to come and rescue me!!!
Otherwise wasn’t too bad. I am always amazed by the kindness of people as they helped to get up from the fall, as they returned another daughter 'a bag because her car had been broke in
Things can only improve
Sadie x
Morning Sadie,
They have to improve over time mustn’t they? I don’t think any one of us has the stamina to cope if there’s no improvement.
I wake every morning and after I’ve said my morning greetings to Alan, the cloud descends and I’m faced with the dread of another day of pretty much the same as the day before. Some days a spark of spontaneity would lighten the current trend. Today of course, I’m stuck at home anyway, with our daughter helping our son in getting his new house ready to move into, I’ve Winston every day of the week, usually it’s just Ada and myself Thursday and Saturday and I’ve been using those days to either do more training with her or like last week, went to visit my mother. Winston marks his territory everywhere he goes so I’m reluctant to take him anywhere other than outdoors. I feel I’m making excuses about everything, like I’m out to g stumbling blocks in my own path. Perhaps I’m subconsciously.
I do tend to over think issues then end up with a mountain of reasons. Something I’m hoping to overcome with some therapy sessions I’m thinking of having. I’ll see.
Any way I hope you have a better, healthier weekend and werk ahead. After my dad passed, my mum, who had never been ill, came down with all manner of illnesses, it was as though whilst she was caring for my.dad, she was too busy with his needs to become I’ll herself. Since by a passing 12 years ago, her health and mobility has deteriorated rapidly. She’s had no less than 8 cancellations to have a new hip. Her pain now is really bad. She still misses my dad, and talks to him every day. Bless her.
When our husband/wife/partner passes away, all the times we were busy caring for them, we didn’t have time to be ill ourselves, it’s as though our bodies are catching up on those busy times. Well, that’s how my mum saw it.
Blessings
Jen☆
Good morning Jen
Go for therapy- everybody needs therapy!! I will be seeing a bereavement counsellor soon - the talking will help me.
Jackvwas not ill for long - 4 months - I think all this aches, pains, accidents is the reflection in my body of what is happening emotionally
This afternoon I will be going to a football game with my daughter and her kids. It is just a local team which is really rubbish butt my 5 year old grandson loves football and never seeing a live game.
The house phone just rang and as I was half asleep I said : Jack can you answer that?’ Ohhh how I miss him
Have a good day
Sadie xx
Dear Sadie and Jen
My girls are taking me to listen to a Tina Turner tribute act tonight !
I have to laugh really as my world has been turned upside down now and feels surreal
I think I must try more to go with the flow
I think fear and trying to control stuff and control my feelings is making me panic
I might as well admit that I am scared stiff of the future , don’t know what the hell is coming my way next on the agenda and see if that helps because whatever I’m doing at the moment is not working for me
It’s hard to trust in life when you feel like it has the ability to cause such devastation and distress but we can’t control something that is uncontrollable so we might as well try and enjoy it I suppose
I am becoming very philosophical in my grief !
Sending you both lots of love
Romy xxxxx
Great! Enjoy your Tina Turner tribute! Her music is great
I am also scared about the future because it doesn’t look too exciting.
Our challenge Romy and Jen is to allow ourselves to enjoy living and feel comfortable with it. By enjoying life I feel I will be honouring Jack - I can enjoy life and at the same time I will still love Jack and have him with me. Does it make sense??
Sadie x
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Dear Sheila and Romy ,
Yes if only wishes could come true. To have that feeling of having just met and starting out on our adventures.
The feeling that you are floating through life waiting to meet up with your true love again for another date.
All you had to worry about was what you should wear or should I buy another lipstick. The saying love is the drug is so true because you are constantly on a high and obliviously happy.
One day we will.be back there,
Love Sandra xx
Romy
Go along and enjoy the atmosphere, that’s what I did at a Freddie Mercury tribute night in January, wasn’t going to go but do glad I did, got a Robbie Williams tribute night in June, followed by a Cher/Tina Turner night. These are all organised by the charity I belong to, although I’ve not played a part in any fundraising since Alan passed away. They understand, but I.have begun supporting them again but only since January and only on and off depending on my state of mind
Any way Romy hope you have the lovely time you do well deserve.
Blessings
Jen ☆
Hi Romy
How strange you should say that about fear for the future. I have just spoken to an ex neighbour of mine who asked how I was and I told her that whereas I would plan ahead I now find it difficult to see past the day. Yes I have put a deposit down on a trip to Oz in October, but at the minute it seems like a story I’m telling myself.
You say about going with the flow . I have been alone longer than you, 18 months now and for the first time the other day I think I am getting used to it, and I think I have stopped fighting the feelings of longing and wishing and hoping it was different but it will never be so somehow I have got to find some peace of mind and a way to,get on and try to make sense of it all and feel something other than gut wrenching grief.
Enjoy your concert it should be good-humoured J X
Have a lovely time Romy. I think we’re all scared. I know I am but, as you say, we can’t control the plans that life has with our name on so, why bother trying to, and/or worrying about it. Can it really be any worse than how we feel right now, whatever it is life will throw at us. We can put our energy into other things…like your time out tonight. I’ll be thinking about you x
Hi Romy I agree with what has been said to you. I lost Peter 7 months ago and have periods of time when I feel so low and lonely it is unbearable. I do make myself go out to the theatre and for meals etc with good friends and I have 2 wonderful grown up children and an exceptional brother and sister in law but I would actually prefer to be sitting on the sofa with Peter. However when I was upset last week someone asked me to try and describe my feeliñgs a d I summed it up by saying that despite being an intelligent well travelled person who was confident doing a professional job, I no longer feel ‘safe’ in the world. I’m not sure what I mean but it is how I feel. I dread the future alone .
I feel the same Toria . For nearly 50 years Phil was there as a shoulder to lean on should I need it.
Now with every problem, Im on my own. A lot of things I sorted myself when Phil was here, but mostly I needed him to help.
When Im struggling with something now, like the car being off the road I wouldnt have had to before.
It was like having a lovely soft cushion to fall back on , even just to talk through problems.
Now theres no cushion and it frightens me
sometimes that there never will be,
Its such a long time to have someone to lean on and suddenly theyre gone.
No wonder were all struggling.
Im trying to make a life, making plans, but only because I dont know what else to do other than carry on.
Love Sandra xx
Perfectly put Sandra and, ditto to all of it x
I think I must be missing something here as I’m not scared of the future, mainly because I haven’t a clue what it looks like.
The great thing is that it only gets delivered in instalments, a bit at a time.
I know I’m going to get older and I will die. I haven’t just learned that. There’s a good chance my health will deteriorate and probably my mobility.
Years ago I went along with the lyrics of My Generation by The Who… hope I die before I get old… but I’ve got to face the fact I am old, or my body is and now I’m in no rush to die.
I wonder if anyone can put their finger on precisely what they are fearful of. Maybe I need to know. I remember years ago my brother in law saying about his mother that she was anxious that she had nothing to be anxious about. I laughed at the time but then over the years came across several people like that who worked hard at hiding it. I don’t think people are in that position here though but it does seem to be a common trait.
I don’t fear the future. Nor do I fear death. The lack of fear for death is only since more and more people I love have died. I guess I’m apprehensive as to how I’ll die but not fearful of death itself. As for the future, I’m more focused on an immediate one lately, like tomorrow. I don’t particularly want to think any further than that right now. Whatever it brings though, I don’t fear it. I don’t particularly look forward to it either but that’s another tangent I’ll refrain from getting on!!!
There won’t be that much unknown at our age, hopefully. I suppose health is the Big One. Trouble is that if we get to anxious about that it could make us unhealthy. I took early retirement as I didn’t want to end up like my Dad. Finish work and start with Alzheimers almost immediately. Hopefully it’s staying away from me.
I completely agree about kids and grandkids. I can’t even go there in my mind.
Toria, I understand your feeling of having lost safety and trust in life. I do too - in my case Jack was always behind me - he gave me strength, he allowed me to be me and if there were a problem we would face it together - now as I don’t have him with me I see life differently-
Loved the football game - o don’t worry honk they had 200 people there - gladbi went.
Good on you Shelia x im sorry you have had such a rough time but im sure its Peter being there with you that is getting you through all of the crap x sending love to you and your family tell your sons to talk to their dad for guidance if they believe xx love jo xxx