Hi Sadone,
Know exactly what you mean. I do all sorts of things I wouldn’t have done before but the underlying emptiness doesn’t go away. It feels like a very thin veneer of normality and not me at all. Is this what life is going to be now. Kidding myself I’m busy but it’s all artificial.
I don’t recognise myself.
Perhaps something will provide some stability soon. I don’t know, we can only hope,
X Chris
Forgot to add, being away from home and out of my enforced comfort zone, I started to think outside the box, hopefully I shall be resourceful enough to put my thoughts and ideas into practise in time
☆
Over the years we’ve had many dogs and cats so all been various ages and temperaments,the cats are always the boss!The most important factor is that you know 100% that the dog is cat friendly.Most rescue centres will have dogs that have had previous owners and some will have lived with cats before.It takes time for them to become friends but it’s worth the patience to see them cuddled up together and looking out for each other.Hope that’s some help.I am a veterinary nurse and my clinic is attached to a rescue centre so I can babble on about animals for hours!Much love xx
Really glad to hear your news,pleased for you xx
Well done Jen
Proud of you xxxxxx
You will be just fine xx
How brilliant Corona - does the dog need to be a puppy or it should be a bit older?
I am getting excited with the idea .
Which breed you think likes cats better?
Tks
Sadie xx
Probably a bit older,not so annoying to the cats,and we have had all sorts of breeds,so hard to say.I can truly say if it wasn’t for my animals I wouldn’t be here today,but I couldn’t leave them it’s not their fault and I have a responsibility to them,they are amazing and such good company xx
Thanks Romy, nearly bottled it, but knew our daughter was in need of a break too. We had some really good quality tine together, if I’m to be truly honest, I feel the same as I did when Alan and I had our first foreign holiday. Strange really, Seri g as we’ve travelled half way around the world during our marriage, yet this short break is up there with the best of our holidays together. A friend has just messaged me asking if I’ve cone down to earth yet, I just replied saying that I want to hold onto tgis feeling for as long as I posdibly can, for tomorrow I may be shunted back to square one. ☆
Jen ☆
That’s lovely Jen
Hold on to the happy feeling for as long as you can . You deserve it
Love Romy xxxxx
Goodnight all,I’m going for an early night as I feel a terrible gloom coming over me.I am lucky that generally I can sleep (I struggle to get out of bed)and sleeping makes the pain go away.I feel for those of you who don’t sleep and I know that’s many of you.So let’s see what tomorrow brings,love to everyone,Corinna
Hi Romy I spent the day in Liverpool with my family. We walked for miles visited museums and had lunch.
It was a lovely distraction, but couldnt help but think how Phil would have loved it.
How we would have been walking hand in hand.
I love my family but the one person I want with every fibre of my being was not there
I long for the sound of his voica and for us to be laughing together at our private jokes.
Ive been left with a wound that will not heall because hes not here to make it better.
He could always make it better for me.
One of his hugs was a cure all for everything. Now I have to lick my own wounds, but I cant cure myself.
Its the thought of moving further into the future without my love.
Ive already moved into another year, one where he will never have existed
Its such a struggle because I cant remember a time without him.
We met when we were not much more than children.
Thats why its agony because the biggest part of me died when Phil did.
Whats left of me exists from one day to the next. Only coping through finding distraction until the day we meet again.
Thats the day I will know Im in heaven.
Im sorry theres nothing uplifting about this post
Love Sandra xx
Dear Sandra, there were uplifting bits in your message: you went out , you had fun and if you missed your Phil that is ok too
Our husbands will be always with us and their absence will be always with us
Sadie x
Sheila, I know what you mean about not being able to go to the places you and Peter have been to together. I am the same, Alan has never been interested in visiting anywhere in the US, I think he had enough of Americans when we were in Jamaica 26 years ago for our silver anniversary, actually today all those years ago was our second day there.
We made friends with a lovely Cuban family on our very first visit to Cuba 19 years ago and always arranged to spend time with them each time we returned, they have invited me to go and stay with them, but I just can’t do it, really can’t. I talk more now about the places we’ve been to over the years, than I ever did when Alan was here, oh we used to
reminisce many times between us of course. Out of all the places we visited, Blackpool was always the favourite for New Year and my birthday on New Year’s Eve, it was hard going back there last time and I did wobbjd quite a few times, I had our friends there who made sure I wasn’t left on my own, they were brilliant and very supportive. We’d been going to the same hotel for over 20 years so I knew practically everyone but I wanted only Alan to be there with me. Last New Year’s birthday was the first I’d spent without him since my 16th.
I also know what you mean about them not being at home so we can tell them about our day/time out. Whilst I was in New York, i kept saying to our daughter … oh I’ll tell your dad about this when we get back, … or when we were in Macy’s I’d see something i know Alan would really like and find myself looking for his size. Picked up a few things before realising he’s not here anymore. That really upset me. Lifelong habits we had together are hard to give up.
Any future holidays can only be to places we never visited together, apart from our New Year break (I seem to look on this as a pilgrimage if that makes sense).
Blessings
Jen ☆
Dear Sandra
It’s ok to say exactly how you feel
I understand
I woke up this morning
It is a beautiful day
But that’s all I can think is how happy I would be today if my husband has woken up with me and was spending the day with me too
We probably wouldn’t have done much different than I will be doing anyway… but just having each other around was all we needed . It’s even more obvious now that he’s gone that having each other was what made us happy
So how can you solve a situation that has no solution ?
You can’t
That’s all you can do is plod on and love the people that are left …children , mum , friends …and not forgetting pets
But it’ll only ever be second best . Plan B .
And to get my brain to let go of Plan A is nigh on impossible at the moment . Perhaps time will batter it into submission but I doubt it . So I think the rest of my life will be spent yearning for the now impossible Plan A while living the now real Plan B
Sending you lots of love on this Plan B Sunday
Romy xxxxx
Here I a message ready for my plan B ! Meeting one daughter in a very nice park and later meeting a friend … but as you say this is plan B
Sadie x
Here I a message ready for my plan B ! Meeting one daughter in a very nice park and later meeting a friend … but as you say this is plan B
Sadie x
Here I a message ready for my plan B ! Meeting one daughter in a very nice park and later meeting a friend … but as you say this is plan B
Sadie x
Dear Romy Its funny you say that because Phil always had a plan B for everything.
Even the granchildren always said if things didnt go to plan. Its ok Grandads got a plan B.
At the end of his life the doctors took him off the sedation and said. It wont be long now.
Our son said I dont think so mum , dad always had a plan B.
Three days later he finally passed away peacefully. So he was still trying for a plan B right up to the end,
Hes probably still putting one into place now,
Love Sandra xx
XXXXXXX