I'm a bit behind with all the posts after being ill but I was quite interested in the bit about bluetooth headsets etc because I worry about falling or my blood sugar dropping drastically and collapsing with no-one around ( I'm type 1 diabetic and it worries me a lot ).
I haven't a clue about the tech stuff but it's given me something to think about and more than the medics have done, so I'm glad it was mentioned as it is about safety and security and not just chit chat.
It was useful for the oldies like me any how.
Night, night all xxxWhy has my font changed? How strange.
Hi Romy,
Sorry about the lack of post yesterday. I was so tired, I couldn’t rewrite everything I’d lost!
I saw a counsellor every 2 weeks and she was excellent and I found it very useful. She gave me little goals which I tried to achieve. When I hit one of those awful ‘brick wall ‘ moments, I’d put it to one side to tell her. Hope it helps you.
I’m dreading this weekend, everyone will be busy and I’ll have to try to find something to do.
Even after 15 months, I’m still not on an even keel and tiny things can throw me.
Day at a time is still my mantra,
Have a calm day,
X Chris
Chris, ring people and ask if can go to see them - I did it with my sister
Or you ask people to come to you. I asked my friend and she said cone to us instead
S xx
Dear Chris
Weekends can be crap and because it’s Easter you’ve got the Friday before and the Monday after so I understand why you are dreading it
Have you got anyone you can meet up with on one or two of those days ? Or is there any place you like to visit that you can sort of enjoy even if you are on your own ?
It might seem daunting to make yourself go out of the house and go somewhere on your own but it would break the day up for you .
I don’t know if you are in to Church but obviously there will be services on a lot because it is Easter and you may see posters at church about community groups or events taking place that you could join in now or in the future
I think Day at a time mantra is good
But if you can think of 4 things that vaguely appeal to you that you can do one each day of the long weekend then maybe the prospect won’t be so daunting
Maybe buy the local paper and see what’s on . There maybe a spring fayre or a special market or some other event on
It’ll be daunting to go on your own but it might be better to put yourself out there and feel a bit anxious than stay at home and feel really down in the dumps . And you might make connections with organisations or people you can join in with stuff in the future
The day is long if there is nothing to break it up with . Split it into three parts …morning , afternoon and evening . It won’t be so daunting then . Like you could do household stuff in one bit . Go out somewhere in another bit and then treat yourself to something nice in another bit as a reward for getting through the earlier parts of the day
Don’t know if what I’m saying is helpful in any shape or form Chris
I think Sadie has messaged with suggestions too and probably other people on the forum will have ideas that might help too
Sending you love and hugs
Post on here often if you are struggling and we will help each other to get through it
Love Romy xxxxx
Thank you for all that info Sheila. I’m definitely going to look into this and as I’m not very technical I wouldn’t have known if you hadn’t mentioned it.
If you and Sandra had been private messaging I wouldn’t have known either so personally I’m very glad you did.
xx Jacqi
Sandra,
Yes, it is / was a clematis montana. I’m so upset about it and angry that I feel they are taking advantage of the fact I’ve lost my husband and feel devastated and unable to function normally most of the time.
Just thinking about last year when it was covered in flowers and Iain, beside me, looking out of the window at it and he was so delighted. It makes me cry.
Love Jacqixx
Hi
This makes me so cross, I have a neighbour who has allowed her bamboo to grow wild, Its come up under the fence spread over what was Brian’s veggie patch and up through our shed. We have asked three times very polity to cut it back… Totally ignored, Her son came round and said to leave his mother alone, and stop damaging her fence. Its my fence and my son was livid that she sent a great big guy around a 9 at night to have a go at me
I am a lot stronger since losing my hubby so no I am not going to be bullied. I am struggling to do the garden without all her weeds coming through…
She had a go at her neighbour the other side who is well into his 80s think she was shocked when he shouted back. she went back indoors a bit rapid.
Why can’t people just get on with very one.
Feeling sorry for myself today I have the most dreadful cold which has gone onto my chest,
Trying to think of things to do weekend. like everyone else on here hate weekends. Hope may get some work done in the garden.
Love June E
Hi Chris
Can’t you just skim past the posts that aren’t of interest to you? I know it’s a bit daunting sometimes when so many come flooding into your email. I was unwell for a few days and just couldn’t face looking.
The siite isn’t really planned very well and could be better - some of the topics and replies go back years.
Last time I sent you a reply was when you were visiting your father. I hope that all went well. You probably replied but I couldn’t find it and gave up because of all the quantity of posts.
Anyway you sound pretty stressed about the long weekend. It’s not easy to phone someone up because you don’t want them to find you too “needy”. I have a brother-in-law who, at first, was going to do all sorts of things but after visiting me at New Year for one night, I haven’t heard from him since and when I phoned him and asked him to visit just said he was a bit busy and would be in touch. He hasn’t. Likewise his daughter, my niece and her husband. I feel I just can’t go begging.
Hope your little cat is keeping you company. My little ginger puss is asleep on my bed just now. I would be lost without her, she is my best friend now.
Love Jacqi xx
Dear Jacqi I know just how you feel
As I said my neighbour complained about me having a shrub cut down and It was my shrub!
I renember feeling pleased that how happy Phil would be that the garden was more manageable for me now
.
It upsets me to think about that now. He was quite nasty.
I got upset and the gardener said he should be more compassionate now you are on your own
Everyone said take no notice but it doesnt take much to start the tears again as you know.
The montana clematis are beautiful, mine was a rheubens very pale pink.
I saw some on offer in Tescos yesterday.
Will get one for Phils garden, he loved it.
The man must have no soul cutting down such a beautiful plant in its prime
Love Sandra xx
Morning Romy,
Hope everything goes well for you today.
Had last Wednesday’s counselling session cancelled then the one I’d booked for yesterday evening was cancelled too. Yesterday was horrendous but I did get through it eventually, think mainly due to a happy ending.
I’d heard a pug pup had been stolen from the Scottidh Dog Show, she was owned by a show friend of the breeder I got Ada from, anyway seems she was taken by two Roma Gypsies (reports stated). One of the admins of the pug group I belong to refused to share the post to help alert anyone seeing these two women on the grounds that the pup’s owner had caused some problems within the group last year, (I had taken a break from the group during this time) anyway, the admin then said it’s obviously payback for her I was disgusted, and her response to my private message to her about how I was getting mental pictures of the life this little one will most likely endure if not found, her response added equal disgust when she stated that the pup was owned by a breeder and would be bred anyway. This triggered a major anxiety attack, it lasted well over 2 hours and I was all over the place, I know it wasn’t one of our pugs, but I couldn’t get these images from my mind. Anita, Ada’s breeder, messaged me to say that thanks to alm who had shared the post and the CCTV footage, the little pup was found and reunited with her owner, it was only then that these images faded. But the attitude of this admin of our group has really left a nasty taste, I was going to leave the group but that would be punishing Winston and Ada as they love socialising with the other pugs. So I shall intend to keep going on the walks, health permitting, I shall still support the fundraising but want no part of the politics and only interact with this person if it’s unavoidable.
Slne may say I over reacted, I.dont think so, and I know I’m overly sensitive and fragile at present. One thing this damon’s comments have shown is that, no matter how much we try to remove trigger points from our daily lives to reduce any anxiety or upset, there will always be someone external to instigate a relapse.
Some people just do not think about the consequences of their actions or comments. Sorry, I just needed to get this off my chest, i was so upset yesterday i couldn’t even reply to anyone’s posts.
Please accept my apologies.
Ps Romy, after hearing little Tabatha had been found safe I stood in front of the open fridge looking for something to drink to calm myself, the unopened bottle of wine from 3 weeks ago remains unopened long with the bottles of spirits in the glass cabinet, instead I poured a glass of alcohol free mixed fruit cider, then made myself something to eat, so i suppose from an eventful anxious day, I did survive and came out the other end calmly.
Another war and peace again, so sorry.
Hood you don’t get too much hassle and obstruction from your in laws when sorting your Spanish property out.
Blessings
Jen☆
Dear Sheila, you were doing your best and personally I think that being afraid and vulnerable because you are now alone is a big part of grieving. Anything practical that helps to deal with that should be, in my opinion, welcome. Anyone who doesn’t want to read about that isn’t obliged to do so.
I’m sorry if that upsets anyone but diverting that information to a different topic in the forum list may mean it isn’t seen by someone who desperately needs help because they are afraid or nervous. It is at least as valid as someone who lists their daily agenda or who they will be seeing today.
Jacqi xx
Dear Sheila
Do you know what …you win
I give up
You have taken what I said so personally and made a mountain out of a molehill
As they say on Dragon’s Den …I’m out
Thank you everyone for all your help these past months but this is no longer the place for me
Romy xxxx
Hi
She won’t speak to me and if I write she just puts it back through my letter box. We alwasy knew she was a very strange person.
I will do as my son says and just put weed killer down on anything that is on my side.
Her son is a known bully, he ran a business and if you were late paying he would go to the property late at night when the wife was alone had get really threatening, eventually he was done by Standard Trading.
I will hopefully get some of the problem sorted, I do spray all the ivy that she is allowing to grow up my fence, and it does kill it for a while.
I have far better things to worry about then someone like her.
Going to make myself another hot drink, to try and stop my coughing.
It would be nice if we could some of us meet up for a coffee if we were close enough to each other.
June E
Dear June
I feel I have to go next door and say something to my neighbour before she takes it into her head to do some more chopping. Her husband is a big bloke too.
You should have tried some brushwood killer on that bamboo. Invasive stuff like bamboo should not be grown next to someone else’s garden. It’s just not fair behaviour.
Ours had leylandii conifers on the boundary which grew until we could only see this dark green wall out of our dining room window and only a narrow bit of sky out of the bedroom window above. For year we asked him to cut the stuff and he would take off about six inches and then it grew 3 feet. After years of having half darkness inside and the outside strip of our garden there so dry and dark that nothing would grow, the finally chopped them down. What a difference! She then acted like I was supposed to say thank you. I just said “Good, at last”.
Hope your cold gets better soon and hopefully at the weekend there maybe something worth watching on the TV for a change.
Love Jacqi xx
Thanks everyone for your suggestions and support.
I’ll certainly try things.
Funnily enough , I don’t have a problem with going out, I’d rather be out than in.
I’ll think of a walk I want to do and go for a cuppa.
I don’t feel so lonely when I’m out so I’ll take a bus somewhere, they are running this weekend, and visit a local town.
There’s lots of little places near here in North Yorkshire that I can get to without taking the car.
Thank you for taking the trouble to post back,
X X Chris
It’s not that . It’s just that …
You have just made reference to what I said about it originally …over and over and over again …in order to justify your position
I can’t be doing with that
Constant reference back to what you don’t like I said to you and Sandra yesterday . What is that going to achieve ?
Nothing .
You may have got time for that
I haven’t
It’s just making me feel ill
I feel like I’ve been under constant attack for daring to raise my head above the parapet
Romy
I’m not looking forward to Good Friday at all. Last Good Friday fell on our 50th wedding anniversary and as Alan had caught another bad bout of flu, we spent the day at home, I had just started driving again after my knee replacement surgery but didn’t want to chance going out in.case we got stuck in a traffic jam somewhere. Anyway, this year will still bring back memories of the last Good Friday Alan spent on the earth plane.
So even though good Friday falls on a different date, it still holds memories of our wedding anniversary, Alan’s last good Friday, plus it will be 11 months since he passed away.
So as I said at the beginning, I really am not looking forward to Friday at all. As usual, I shall be spending it at home and alone, something I really struggle to cope with.
Blessings ☆
Jen☆
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Dear Sheila I can’t tell you how nervous I am at night. Sometimes my son is here and I feel OK but sometimes he’s not and I virtually barricade myself in. My house is very creaky. I could do with a dog but I’m allergic to them.
About 3 months ago my niece and her husband were staying overnight, thank goodness. In the morning I went to switch on my pc and realised my blood sugar was dropping. I turned round to go back to the kitchen and my knees gave way. I fell against the desk bruising my back and was flat on the floor shouting help. My niece who was a nurse ran in, grabbed a bottle of Lucozade (I have them around the house) and passed it over. It took a few minutes before I was able to get up and walk to the kitchen. If I had been alone it could have curtains for me and I was left feeling very afraid. The system you have described sounds like just what I need and would make me feel so much more secure. I can’t thank you enough.
Love Jacqi xx
Dear Sheila
Please don’t do that. You have been posting on here for a long time and it is both sad and unnecessary for anyone to leave. Please.
Jacqi xx