Dear Sadone
It helps me to get my thoughts out of my head
If anything I say resonates with others that’s great
I just say it as I feel it
I’m probably too much for some people but I hope not
Keeping my thoughts to myself has never been my forte , especially as I have got older
But I hope never to be unkind
Sending big hugs
Romy xxxxx
What a clever , thoughtful little girl your niece is
Keep stuffing those bits of paper in the grief monster’s mouth if it helps
Much love
Romy xxxxx
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Is a great niece several generations removed, and she’s already eight.
The daughter of my 34 year old nephew. Not that many generations
I thought that must be it. I realise I’ve got some as well. Thank you for enlightening me. Never heard them called that but that’s my bad. :))
Hello everyone I’ve just joined tonight and oh my gosh I wish I had found you all sooner. My husband died 4 weeks ago after having only been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer which had spread to his liver 3 weeks earlier. I am so struggling to life on my own. Like lots of you I find the house so quiet and I go to bed early as night times are awful. I find myself crying and going over and over those 3 weeks in my head. I’m starting counselling on Monday and have high hopes it will help me manage these unbearable feelings. Big hugs to you all x
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I think the other trees would understand it
S
Alice this forum is great help
You can say whatever you want and feel because we understand it and very often we share the same feelings.
We will support you as you will support us - we are all at different stages of this awful process
In grief, in sadness and hurt we will learn how survive
Sadie
Hello Princess
Welcome to the forum
We have become a family of grievers so feel your pain
This grief thing is a rollercoaster and can be so painful
Let the people on this site help you
They have helped me
I am so sorry for your loss
It is truly a nightmare
Sending big hugs and understanding
Love Romy xxxxx
Perhaps I will get a ribbon then and tie a bow around it …it is a very special tree to me after all . Red I think would look nice
Still not crazy Sadie …even though I must sound it !
Hope your pain has improved cos it was bad at the beginning of the week wasn’t it ?
Sending big hugs
Romy xxxxx
Not crazy at all!! Andveven if it was so what?
After massage and osteopath the pain is gone !
Hope your day is good tomorrow
Sadie xx
What a special little girl. What a good idea. I’ve never heard of that before. Your post made me remember something I read only today which suggested going for a walk every day and make yourself notice something on every walk and write it down. I thought that exercise could prove to be therapeutic also. Xx
Dear Princess Alice,
You’ve come to the right place. Although we are all different in what we are going through, we are all suffering our own overwhelming grief.
You are probably still in shock, so don’t feel you have to do anything you don’t want to, be kind to yourself and take time.
I’m sure the counsellor will help and you can rant or cry on here any time of day or night.
Big hugs ,
X Chris
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Hi everyone I have not been on here for a little while is is nearly 7mth 2 wks since my Dave left me and I am finding harder each day. Where I used to take pride in my home I find it hard just to do the normal cleaning Today I am trying to push myself to tidy the garden up as Dave and I used to spend a lot of time out there.
The trouble is nothing seems to matter anymore, although I do go out nearly every day and I have lots of family and friends I find I just go thru the motions.
I find this site helps me as I can put down how I really feel as reading the messages from you all I realise I am not alone in how I feel.
My heart goes out to all of you as we all understand the awful feeling of sadness
Lots of Hugs Queenie
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Dear Sadie
Glad pain has gone
What you going to do today ?
I am laying in bed trying to magic up a plan as to occupy myself today
So far it’s same old …horses , dogs , Sunday papers , food shopping when I know how many are coming to dinner tonight and seeing what’s on telly later
It’s like Groundhog Day
I’m not complaining because at least I’m alive but it does get a bit wearisome and even if I meet a friend for coffee truth be told I’m not really really interested in what they’ve got to tell me or in talking about myself or how I am
I think it must be grief burnout
I suppose if you reach rock bottom then that’s a solid base on which to build ? But what am I going to build on it ? I have no clue at the moment but some form of emotional stability must be welcomed I suppose even if it is a bit flat
I’m off on my analogies again
Better stop and go hug my tree …that always cheers me up , especially if it is sunny and it is today
Sending big hugs
Romy xxxxx
Big hugs right back at you Queenie
Truth be told even if we are not crying our eyes out , nothing is the same without our beloveds . It’s bloody boring without your soulmate to make plans with …and nobody else will do . The magic connection has gone …never to be replaced . Well that’s how I feel anyway.
How the hell we are going to get back our zest for living I really don’t know
But we will have to keep trying
Life is too precious to waste
Sending you even more hugs
Romy xxxxx
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Dear Romy
Thank you for your prompt reply it is so nice to know someone understands how we all feel. As you say we must try to get back to some sort of life although so differant from what it was. Thinking of you Hugs Queenie
Hi Queenie,
It’s good to hear from you again.
I don’t think it matters how long we’ve been on our own, it doesn’t seem to get any better. I try to think of things I can now do that I couldn’t initially. I’m sure you’re the same.
I Have also lost interest in the house and garden but, like you, go out every day. I don’t think this is a bad way of coping. Like we always say here, do whatever you can cope with and the rest will wait.
Is there something you enjoy doing, just for you? It’s all about survival now. Some days it’s all I can do to get out of bed.
Time with friends can be difficult, you can’t explain how you feel and they don’t want to know. At least here no one will tell you you should be ‘getting better ‘ I hate that phrase.
Don’t beat yourself up, be kind to yourself and give yourself time,
Big hugs,
X Chry
Hi Romy,
I’d just like to explain how I’ve justified not gardening today, when it’s perfect weather .
As it’s Sunday, I don’t want t to strim or cut hedges, ; too noisy. My back is a bit stiff so can’t weed. My cat and I need some quality time and I just can’t be bothered!! All makes sense to me in my new strange, selfish life.
Suppose I’m just looking for a bit of empathy for my laziness.
Thanks for being there,
X Chris
Hi Romy - I also stayed in bed forever. Today is one of my daughters birthday and we will be going there for lunch.
I know and agree what you say about meeting people. Although I don’t care I do make the effort to meet and see people. I know if I don’t do it I will get depressed stay by myself all the time. Is it better than staying alone? I don’t know !!
Neither option is satisfactory
Hopefully pain is completely gone. It comes and goes but on the whole is slowly getting better
Hope your dinner is successful
Sadie xxx