Hi I’m so like you the same questioning why I’m here and my amazing husband isn’t. Me and my husband were so happy just sitting watchin tv together how we get over it is beyond me x
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Appreciating I shouldn’t laugh at this, not really, I have to admit that I did. It was the ‘‘portable grief’ that did it for me. :). Sorry. Not sorry :))) x
Laugh don’t find this tasteful at all
Hi YL we too became a bit softer as we shivered in the tent wrapped in the sleeping bag. We didn’t camp too far from home and sometimes when it rained we left the tent, went home for the night, how daft is that. We was trying to decide whether to get a camper van or a caravan and change car when Brian was very ill so we carried on camping instead and never did upgrade. How I envy you, portable grief or not. And why not have Carolyn with you. Brian asked me to take him on my walks and I carry a photo of him and show him where we are. I carry his wallet and wear his jumpers, so he’s there with me, like it or not. At the allotment I take a photo of him asleep under his tree (while I’m working of course). So I’m still with him. Take care and both enjoy your holiday Pat xxx
With all due respect Dawn the response isn’t on the general thread it is a response to YL. If it offends him I will apologise. Something tells me it won’t, hence why I wrote it x
I live the expression portable grief
I’m sorry for your loss same here not spoke to anyone and that dreaded night time feeling we’d have been in the garden together today and watching the television talking about our day what’s for tea utterly devastating in my thoughts Adele x
I’m sorry for your loss me too all alone in a empty silent house where it was once filled with laughter and cheer in my thoughts Adele x
I’m not sure how this works but that did offend me end of
Sounds wonderful a real tonic, getting away from everyone and everything, no paying lucks or awkward silences, complete anominity, yes you will take your grief with you but you can leave the baggage that comes with it behind, hope you find some of what you are looking for
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Me too Sadie. It made me laugh x
That should have said pitying looks damn predictive text, it catches us all out
We all have to do what is best for us. Isolating ourselves is not good. I find I need company - I can not stay here he whole day without speaking to someone because will depress me.
Today we had lunch at my daughter 's house. It was very nice but I still didn’t cherish the thought of coming home because I know I would be alone with my 2 cats.
I enjoyed my day - and I have laughed and cried I spent time with loved ones and now I have to learn to be with me
Sadie xx
Hello Pat and Tilly. I so agree with you both. Socialising is just too much effort for me. I’ve always been comfortable with my own company. Of course I would much rather my husband was here but he’s not so for now I prefer to be alone. Xx
Dear Sadie, I’ve read many of your posts and know I am so much like you in that I cannot bear being just with me even for one whole day!
I need to learn to live with myself and love myself, not need the company of others to get me through a day but I don’t know how to do that.
Weekends are usually lonely times not having family nearby. I tend to meet up with friends on weekdays as they have their families to catch up with at weekends. However yesterday I did have lunch with a good friend and back for coffee with her husband at their house. I left late afternoon in the full knowledge they had other stuff to do and me just returning to my empty home and life.
Getting back here is like entering an alien world that I don’t want to be in.
I know I am so lucky compared to many , at 72 and previously feeling and looking (I’m told) much younger, I have good health , a comfortable home, can drive myself around and have no immediate financial concerns. I should feel privileged and grateful but I just feel sad and lonely.
I sometimes have flashes of light and optimism but they are short lived.
There is life out there somewhere I just need to find it.
Xx
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I agree with you it’s not good to isolate yourself. Shut away in the house is asking for isolation. I certainly don’t do that, rarely in. I walk my dogs for hours, do my allotment, go to the gym and fit in shopping. Today went out of the house at 7.45a.m. and returned at 3p.m. I did a long walk where I usually meet other walkers for a chat. Today, only one person. I then called in at the allotment and chatted to quite a few people although I wasn’t in the mood today. I rarely sit at home but I equally don’t expect friends or family to keep me occupied. A well meaning friend who had lost her husband a few years ago, he was a dear friend of my husbands. Told me to call in a see her at any time. She then went on to tell me about another friend who had recently lost her husband and was calling her at all times and visiting daily and this dependency was beginning to annoy her. I was therefore determined not to become dependant on people to keep me company, I don’t feel the need and would only feel like a liability. I am never short of people stopping to chat and walk with me. I hope that I am good company but it can be tiring and sometime I just like to be alone with my thoughts. Keeping occupied is the answer to loneliness, when I am at home I am usually tired out and enjoy the time to sit and be peaceful. Your right though we all have to find our own way to cope. Best wishes Pat xxxx
YL has a clever way with words and at times makes us all laugh. Which can’t be a bad thing in the circumstances.
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I’ve never been called sweet before but often wondered why not. You can be my friend, Kate.
Dear YL
I’m surprised you don’t like my grief manifesto !
Hope you are enjoying your trip and taking in the Malvern waters !
Love Romy xxxxx
I didn’t get here until 5.30 and leaving for Devon early morning so no time for Malvern water. Anyway, I always have a copious amount of Yorkshire Water to make my Yorkshire Tea. Why settle for less. People kept telling me to “enjoy” my trip. Several family and friends said it. I hadn’t the heart to say my concept of enjoyment was up for scrutiny. It would be nice to get a glimpse of enjoyment, interest, excitement. I do live in hope.
XXX
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