The Island is quite beautiful but like everywhere else is consumed by greed with tourism, at least that is how I see it as does many older people living here. Being a keen walker I get out into the countryside and then you get to see the real Island which is a walkers paradise.
Brian was an islander and had lived in this town all his life. I have never particularly liked it though. Osborne is beautiful and it’s hard to imagine all that lovely countryside right on our doorstep but we can’t get into it unless we are a member of English Heritage now. My husband can remember being able to ride his bike all around that area before EH took it over. Queen Victoria and especially Albert left so much heritage to this town but it has been spoilt by the ship yards and the ferry companies which is always knocking down the old town to extend their premises. They are building so many horrible new houses but giving us no better facilities. I am seriously thinking of leaving the place now. I have always wanted to go throughout my marriage to Brian but he wouldn’t leave. I don’t think he could be bothered rather than any attachment to the town as it had changed so much since he was a lad.
The grounds, terraces, paths on TV I walk quite often but the dogs have to be on lead and mine are always off lead. So I put them on the extended leads and let them walk on when no one is around.
I was there last week and asking the girls that were touching up the statues how they kept them so nice, mine don’t look like that.
Take care Pat
Thank you Queenie. It’s exactly 10 yrs ago today that I lost my middle brother and then eldest brother today also. I lost my darling John 6 months ago. I felt I was coping so well, now I realise I wasn’t coping at all but just going through the motions. I’ve now got to start to try and pick myself up again without the most important men in my life xxx
Dear Sheila
I can’t imagine the anxiety and grief that you will all be feeling now. If you have the time it might be worth giving the Citizens Advice Bureau or Macmillan Cancer Care a ring as I think they might be able to advise about any available help towards paying bills or practical help when someone has cancer and the main carer has to work. They can only say No after all.
I wish I could give you some help but can only try and send positive thoughts. Thinking about you all.
Love Jacqi xx
Cassie, try asking your local police if they can ask for an officer to visit your sister to pass on a message to phone you? It depends if you have her address of course but keep trying at different times in the hopes that she gets a message from you if she happens to be out and about and gets a signal. Hope so, xx
Oh no
I’m so sorry
Romy xxxxx
Dear Sheila I’ve not been on the forum for a few days and have just read your latest post.
I’m so sorry to hear about your daughter in law and her father
Why is life so cruel?.
I cant imagine what you’re all going through.
It’s so much harder when our partners are not by our side.
I know you’ll help each other but it’s good that you are there for them all Sheila
You probably dont feel it right now Sheila but you are a strong and that will make all the difference to them,
I’m thinking about you all,
Love Sandra xx
Dead Cassie. Very sorry for your losses.i know how difficult it is. I lost my darling husband just 6 months ago (Tuesday) and a month ago my sister. It really bring back to the surface those feelings you were trying to cope with. Life is very cruel and its nothing we can do. I just think that my darling is now with mmy sister and not olone.
Thinking of you xx
Thinking of you,so so sorry xx
Thank you all for your kind thoughts yesterday. I finally got hold of my sister at 11 last night to tell her our sad news. At midnight my dear friend arrived, having driven 2 hours to be with me. It was so nice to have someone in the flat with me. Thank you all once again for your love and support xx
Hi everyone
I know lots of you know me and about my loss of my mum husband and mother in law in such a short space of time … I don’t post as often anymore with the two little ones and my graves ive not been great …
I just wanted your thoughts … if that’s ok …
some of you will know my husband died 10 months ago at the age of 36 and the circumstances…
my family have got together and paid for a holiday abroad for me and the kids … (lovely surprise we could never afford it ) sorry I’m not getting to the point …
Firstly despite the appreciation I’ve mixed thoughts it will be the first time away without him and we could do with the break …
my friends are obviously encouraging me to go and enjoy … but this last week they have started to ask about my intentions if I was to meet someone out there ( definitely not my intentions) but they had lots of questions will u say your married will u say your widowed will you entertain the notion … they have asked about my wedding ring countless times ( I still wear it ) and they have mentioned and hinted about me moving on … I get the whole your only young Michelle… I know lots of you have mentioned before that your still married no matter what … and I completely respect that … but the kids have mentioned to me now your not married anymore mummy … so this last week I’ve just asked my self what am I …?? …
maybe I’m overthinking it …
Love to you all Michelle
You are over thinking Michell.?they ask becausectgeyvwantvto knowvandctou dobtvgave to ovanswer. Just sayv I don’t know"
And because it is all so recent you don’t really know
Don’t over think - enjoy your holiday
Sadie xx
Michelle…
…I cant understand why you must be pressurised so much by people-your friends who think they know, why do they feel the need to move you on, you are a widow who is still in the grieving process…grieving has no time limit…
I am rather new to this forum so I am not familiar with your story, I came here only recently after losing my partner of 19 years suddenly at home sitting in his armchair after taking our dog to the pet groomers with the intention of soon going back to collect him, it was a heart blockage…
My thoughts are, do not allow anyone to put pressure on you, do things in your own time, not when others feel you should be doing this or that…this is your life not there’s…
Jackie…
Hi Jackie thanks for your reply and I’m so sorry for your loss … the shock Is awful isn’t it … me and my 4 and 5 year old saw my husband he left went to the shop and an hour later he was found by the road … we never saw him again … it sometime feels because I’m a relatively young widow that people feel like that was just a stage of my life … even if I was to move on and meet someone in the future it would never be the same … my kids will never have there daddy back …
Michelle all you can do is to do what feels right for you, no one knows what is around the corner, if we did, we’d have made sure events wouldn’t have happened to bring us to this forum.
What I’m trying to sat is, don’t bow to peer pressure, go on holiday, enjoy yourself, have no expectations other than to have the good time you deserve and go with the flow. Trust your gut instincts and as I and others have said, go and have a good holiday. You deserve it.
Blessings
Jen☆
People think we are public property when we are widowed and ask and say all sorts of things .
If people ask me questions about stuff I sometimes say to them …I don’t know . I’ve never done this before . That usually stops them in their tracks . I get fed up of some of the stuff people say to me . My own mother said that I was still of an age to remarry …just a few weeks after my husband died . I nearly lost my cool with her . She apologised and said she didn’t know why she had said it
Just go with the flow babes and enjoy your holidays . None of us know what is around the corner . That’s how we’ve ended up in the strange land
Sending love to you and the children
Romy xxxxx
And you know what is interesting, if you met and remarried someone very quickly they would be talking about it too
S xxxx
I think people think that widows /widowers’ futures are fair game for discussion
In the beginning I felt like a complete oddity
Don’t know if I was being paranoid but sometimes I could feel people looking at me …like she’s the one who lost her husband suddenly …you know they’ve got the business in blah blah …they live in blah blah
Romy xxxxx
Hi Sheila regarding our diet after Brian was diagnosed. My poor Brian thought I was trying to kill him off at first as I was changing things all the time. Stopped eating all dairy and red meat. Shoving vitamins etc at him. I was so strict in teh early days. He was very suspicious. He was very ill and terribly thin in 2008 when first ill and we got no advice. I was convinced he would die after three ops and being so weak and thin so I took things into my own hands. Hence we had ten years more together, unfortunately no thanks to the NHS, no help there.
When he deteriorated September of 2018 he would only eat and drink what he wanted and he was asking for all sorts of things we hadn’t eaten in years or ever had, he wanted ‘cup a soups’ and I make all my own soups with so many home grown vegetables but no, it had to be what he demanded. Like you I gave him what he wanted when he wanted it, day or night. Our last ‘meal’ together was on the Wednesday night before he passed away in the early hours of the Saturday. He wanted boiled eggs and soldiers, so that’s what he got, he never ate anything again as my Brian was more or less gone the next day.
Again good luck to you all. Thinking of you.
Pat xxx
Wouldn’t they just. Its a cant win situation. Yet most of these people aren’t and haven’t been members of our exclusive club, the one no one wants to be eligible for, least of all me. ☆
H
Jen ☆
Roy had a wonderful saying,one of my best friends had it engraved on a gin glass for me,on Roy’s birthday ‘you can do what the f*** you like!’I am so glad he had that attitude to life as you never know what is round the corner do you.But we lived every day to the full,never dreamt I could be so happy.All changed now, but we had the best time ever.So ‘be more Roy’ love to all xxx