Dear Pammi
That’s really hard hearted and harsh and quite cruel really
Everyone needs a bit of love and understanding when they are grieving and heartbroken
Sending you hugs and understanding
Love Romy xxxxx
Dear Pammi
That’s really hard hearted and harsh and quite cruel really
Everyone needs a bit of love and understanding when they are grieving and heartbroken
Sending you hugs and understanding
Love Romy xxxxx
Hi and thanks for your reply but it’s so hard to go forward . I was always the plotter and planner so now it’s so difficult because I don’t really know what the plan is. I don’t always want company but likewise I don’t want to be alone so what do I want…no idea. I miss the hugs, the chat, the everyday stuff that now I do alone.
I had a visit today from my husbands cousin and his wife, they have no children and they just take off and go places, I felt so happy for them but at the same time felt so envious
It’s a hardcore place we are all in but hopefully one day it will be bearable and we can all laugh and enjoy life again.
Take care Jxx
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One day you will be able to see a bit of light get in this darkness .
I understand exactly how you feel !! Same here!!
I am afraid I can give you wise words. All I can say we understand because we are living the same
Sadie xx
Thank you Romy your message means a lot , Love Pammi xxx
When we lose a partner, we go through so many sudden changes from the life we once knew to a different life that were were never prepared for…I too lost my partner of 19 years suddenly 11th April and the home is so so empty and very lonely and isolated…I will be collected in a weeks time, two evenings running, one to be taken to my local MS Society monthly meeting, the other to be taken to my recently new Disabled Society bingo evening which Richard and i always enjoyed, now I shall be taken by someone else, not him…I will be more emotional when I go to my MS social as we walk through a set of glass doors, I would head straight to the loo for my bladder emptying, all part of my PPMS, Richard would wait for me before we walked through the second set of sliding glass doors into the large hall where everyone is sitting at tables…Sometimes Richard would stay depending on the evenings talk subject, sometimes it was just a quiz, bingo or a fish and chips night, on the evenings he went back home, he would be back for me within a couple of hours, sometimes less, my eyes would be focused on those glass sliding doors for when he walks through them…I just know I will be looking for him to walk in ready to come collect me, only this time he wont be…I know I am going to shed a lot of tears…Richard was 100% reliable, in all the years I had the pleasure of knowing-living with him, 19 years in all, 17 of those living together, I had never ever known him to let anyone down…
Jackie…
Jackie…
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Regarding your dogs, what a co-incidence my little one Bugsy is also JR x Chihuahua. Cheeky chappie. Been an animal lover since childhood much to the annoyance of my mother. I didn’t come from an animal orientated family. I was frightened of dogs for some years. When I was eleven I wanted a pony and my mother said I would have to buy it myself. So I worked and saved. One of the jobs I got was at a Cocker Spaniel kennels at the weekends. And my love went on from there. Always had 2/4 dogs at a time. When my last one died (only one) I said the same as you. “Can’t go through this again” !!! I found Beepa on a website for a Dog pound, on her last day. Didn’t even want another dog but I rushed to see her and brought her home that day after about thirty minutes with her. She has so much love in her, how could she ever have been found as a stray???. Bugsy we fostered for a rescue centre, he went to another home, but it wasn’t suitable and we had him back and needless to say he stayed. I feel the same as you. They have helped me to cope also. I rarely leave them, one of the reasons I won’t join clubs etc. We spend all day together usually out walking or at the allotments.
My Brian also passed away in November and sometimes I feel I am finding acceptance and hope but unfortunately the bad days do come annoyingly back unexpectedly. Take care Pat xxx
Pat, we are so alike its scary. I’ve always loved animals and dreamed of having my own pony.! Never happened but I did go to a stables when I was younger. Even did odd jobs there to get free rides. I’m with my two all day and Simon loved them to bits. I watch tv a lot too, even laughing at stuff, but then reality kicks in again. I had a bit of a self pity day today. Being able to talk to you and the others are my life line.
Sleep well. Janet xx
I am very much a dog person, dogs were a big part of my life…
Hi Janet - I will hinkbevery so often we feel sorry for ourselves.
Have been feeling quite irritated -
My weekend was ok !
Sadie x
Hi Sadie. I do get irritated too and then I get restless. Can’t sit still, so I have been doing the gardening. Just all the emotions we all go through.
Take care Sadie. Janet xx
Dear Pammi, What a perfect description for the agony we suffer. Amputation without the blood.
As our lived ones are a part of us it was just like having part of us ripped away when they died
Just because theres no blood it doesnt make the pain any less, and the wound will be raw for as long as we are on this earth.
I just hope that with the passage of time it can be soothed a little,
Love Sandra xx
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Hi Janet. Agree being able to ‘talk’ is so much help. Stop’s me from feeling so sorry for myself when I realise there are many worse off than me or at least suffering the same. Not alone, part of a community.
By the way I did manage to buy my first pony she cost me £22. 10shillings. She had belonged to a riding school, stubborn, awkward, thin as a rake but she was mine. My mother was furious when I turned up with her and told me that now I had a pony I would have to keep it and I did. I learned a lot from helping out at a show jumping stables and watching them. I eventually sold her and went on to compete. Horses were my life. My children had ponies and competed also. My daughter hoped to be chosen to train for the Junior European Eventing team but my marriage broke down and eventually all the horses and stables were sold. I have felt so guilty ever since. My life with horses also came to an end. What happy memories though
Life does keep taking us through so many different chapters and I try to think of this as another one but the saddest and hardest.
Take care Pat
Hi Pat, I wished for one every birthday and christmas, but at least I did get to ride. As you say we go through many changes in life, but I really don’t like this change. Take care. Janet x
Hi everyone … hope you don’t mind but I need a rant … it will be a year next month since I lost Gary … and the practicalities are still hitting me hard … I think I have mentioned to most of you before Gary was 36 he had no insurance he was the sole provider as I stayed at home with Scarlett ( not in school then ) and we pretty much were left with nothing and huge debt from his funeral that he’s horrible family refused to help with … we had to leave our house and almost everything behind and start again …
I came to terms with all this at the time but nearly a year on and I’m still getting hounded … I’ve been to all sorts for help and advice and it’s black and white … I’m responsible for his debt … he claimed tax credit with his earnings he declared Everything … yet now I get a letter saying WE WERE over payed £901… and because we were married I have to pay it back the whole amount … here is my frustration if we had split up I would be responsible for half but because he died it’s my debt … I’m so angry … apparently he did not declare he’s actual earnings before 31 st July I have told them till I’m blue in the face that he died 15 July …I should have done it apparently… they don’t know my circumstances or what I was going through after explaining they don’t care and it makes no difference… I can take them to tribunals and court to claim it back but that could take 12 months in the mean time they have attached the debt on the benefits they are giving me … I’ve explained to a thousand people that with all the other expenses I can barley get by … how is it fair that a young family who has never ever claimed or asked for help can be treated like this on top of bereavement… I’m barley keeping my head above water and sinking fast as well as my Graves’ disease … I’m so annoyed … sorry for ranting had to get it out
Love to you all x
Hi I’m so sorry for you are going through and bereavement at the same time. It’s year nearly as well for me my husband was 43 and his family wouldn’t contribute to funeral. It is so much harder when you have to face that as well as loosing the love of your life.
Dawn x
So sorry to hear about all the turmoil you’re going through on top of bereavement too. It is just too much to bear. It was 12 months for me 19th May, and since then I seem to be sinking back to last year, I can only guess how you feel having to battle with the authorities, it can be like banging your head against a brick wall. Have you spoken with citizens advice or even your local MP, they may be able to offer help in getting your case heard quickly. Only a suggestion, I really do hope you get a positive result quickly
Really do feel your anguish.
Blessings
Jen☆
Michelle, oh, I always thought that some debts die with the person, and are not transferable…Surely you are not liable or responsible for hubby’s debts… yes agree with Jen, ask the Citizens Advise to step in…
Michelle my love my heart goes out to you. These people you are dealing with are like robots, they have no brains. Yes agree try CAB or your MP that a good idea. I’ve never had any experience of this sort of thing but there must be someone that can advise and help you and your daughter. Even the local paper, tell them your story, no one suffering grief and illness with a small child and alone should be treated like this. Don’t suffer in silence. Make waves.
I also thought that someones debt died with them.
Let us know how you get on. Love to you Pat xxx
Hi Michelle - I fortunately that is the law - Gary’s debt is part of the marital debts. Have you spoken to the inland revenue and agree with them a payment plan? If they can help you maybe Cotizens Advice?
Also if you look for groups around your area for mums or parents and ask if someone knows of a place or person that cans advise you and of course knows the law. Those sites can be very useful!
Sadie x