I dont know what’s happening why my posts keep sending lol.
Wrong. I look back over the past 11 months and wonder how the heck I made to here. I know why because I met my soulmate and he prepared me for this and hes by me every day to push me forward,
and keep me going until we re together again,
Love Sandra xx
Float Jackie. Just float. That’ll do. There’s not much swimming going on for me just yet. But I can float all day long. And I do… 
xx
cw13…oh yes I could do that if I could get into a bath…not sure when I am in the shower…With the weight loss I have now lost ( almost overnight ) 18 lbs, my floating will be a tad lighter…Now if we are talking of up above " floating " if I was to float high enough I may be able to find Richard…sending (((hugs)))
Hi
Sorry to hear your sad news. I lost my husband on 27th January and its still so roar. I have no family and find it so very lonely like you. Its eating alone which I find so difficult. I lost over 2 stone. Like you say its the sharing little things, nobody at home when you retunr from a shopping trip or out. Keep messaging as I have found this site so helpful knowing we are not alone with our feelings and that others are suffering like us. Be strong if you can, it is so difficult. Take good care Love Sue
Float in the sea of life Jackie. You don’t need a bath x
cw13…that " sea of life " can get quite choppy at times…they have been known to take ones dreams away when we are just " floating "along without a care in the world…
Hi Sheila I would just like to say a big Thank you for all your messages you help us all so much. I think you should have been a counsellor you are so wise with words. It was my Ron"s 3year anniversary this week of his passing and it seems like only yesterday. I never thought I could cry every day for this length of time but you so help me saying because we had such love for over 50 years and I still love him so much. We were very much like you and your Peter in all you did. Thank you once again for all your lovely words which help us so much. Carol.x
I’m not sure how this site works but disappointed not one person answered me. Take care im leaving
Thank you so
Much
Dawn…dont give up on our forum, think twice before leaving…I know myself that many read our posts if not always respond…Just knowing that we do read and do care makes all the difference…We need a forum like ours to let off steam, or to vent, or let out ( to release ) our pent up emotions which are playing havoc with our health…
Jackie…
Dear Dawn .very sorry for your loss and very sorry that you are feeling so much pain. It is so sad and we understand what you are going thru.
Mine deep sadness started in November of last year. it has been a life changing. It was just 4 months after his 60th and 3 months after our 30th wedding anniversary. Also 4 months before our retirement! So no future or growing old together as planned.
We understand how you feel and you are not alone. I don’t enter into the forum too often, but I know there will be support if you need it.
Be thinking of you on Saturday as I will dread the 17th of July. ( my darling’s birthday). I know exactly how you feel.
Take care and big hug xx
Sorry for typo. Meant to write my not mine…too late yo correct.
Oh no Jackie. I never said the without a care in the world bit. I was just suggesting that it’s easier to float when it’s too difficult to swim. I don’t have the energy to swim right now so to keep my head above water I’m floating. Certainly not without a care in the world though. That could never be x
Jackie, have you thought about keeping some of the ashes with you?
We have done this with Jack’s ashes
Sadie x
Sadie…never thought of that but In hindsight I had often mentioned to Richard that if anythingahppened to you, I would have your ashes sent home to be at his family crematorium, Richard always answered " he wasn’t bothered where, whether hear in Dorset or back home but I feel Richard had gone past caring as due to me and my MS we gave up our house back home, and I chose to move to Dorset whereby he came with me but was never happy with being uprooted away from a place he was happy in…i owe him this…I am hoping that I too get back towards home so I can be nearer to him, I am also missing my parents grave in Hertfordshire, next county…I would like to stand over my parents grave and be able to tell them " I am back home…" I have come back, and I should have never left in the first place…
I am assuming his ashes are already back home Sadie…
Jackie…
cw13…
…my Richard couldnt swim, he could only float, just wished I was there to have thrown him a lifeline when he needed it the most…We just never see these large waves coming…
Jackie…
Dear Jackie
Like you I never saw the large wave coming
Its 47 weeks today …this morning …that my husband got out of bed to go to work , collapsed with a sudden cardiac arrest and died three days later in ITU despite me having been with him the minute he collapsed and having had every medical intervention thrown at him …CPR, paramedics , air ambulance doctors , stents and intensive care .
Life is out of our control in significant ways although we don’t realise this until we get thrown the biggest types of curve ball … unexpected ill health
We are so fortunate to have treatments and interventions that prolong life and make things better for us but it is such a shock when sometimes every effort results in the death of a loved one either unexpectedly or after a prolonged and traumatic period of ill health and suffering
Don’t beat yourself up for not having been there to throw Richard a lifeline . It might have helped . It might not have
The ITU consultant described my husband as having been a ‘ticking time bomb ‘ . I happen to have been there at the time of explosion . You were not . Either way the results are equally devastating for us and all who loved our husbands
Please try and concentrate on yourself now and do what gives you some comfort
I am sure that is what your Richard would want . He was there for you every day when he was alive , so let his spirit be your strength every day now he’s gone . We carry our loved ones in our hearts always . As the quote says …To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die
Try and let him live peacefully in your heart today and forgive yourself for anything you think you could have done differently . We are not mind readers , we cannot predict and control the future , if we could we wouldn’t be the humans we are …doing our best everyday despite being frayed around the edges . You are good enough . Richard loved you flaws and all and you loved him .
None of us is perfect
Sending you hugs today and understanding
Romy xxx
Hello Dawn
I know how important replies are to what we post here - and so sorry nobody posted a reply to you sooner. Sometimes the overwhelming sadness we are going through means we need to take a break from the postings here - but we all soon return as I for one have come to rely on the sympathy and kindness expressed here.
I lost my partner of 40 years suddenly just over six weeks ago - he was only just 60 - so I have been with him for two thirds of my life - and it is like losing part of me. I came to the forum early as despite the support of my wonderful children and their own despair at losing their lovely dad - nobody I know had lost their partner. I know I was in shock - and probably still am but sympathise completely over the loss of the future - our planned for future and we are all feeling lost. I have learnt through advice here to literally take it a day or an hour at a time - it is the only way I personally can deal with it. I have met some lovely people on here and I do not know what I would have done without their kind words - so please keep coming back.
Trisha xx
Dear Jackie
Romy could not have put it better. And I am sure one day you will be back in your home county - day at a time my dear - gently does it with everything.
Take care
Trisha xx
Romy, what a thoughtful and compassionate post . I’m sure it will help not only Jackie but all of us battling with our demons.
Thinking of you as we both near the anniversary noone wants to celebrate.xx