Thanks Trisha and I am so sorry for your loss truly
Dear CW13 Reading your reply helps to re-enforce me to try and live my life as best as I can until I meet my Dave again. How I am going to manage I don’t know but I will give it my my shot. Monday is going to be a sad day but I have a least got Dave’s sister with me and her and Dave were really close so she understands to a certain extend how I feel. Today I meet up with friends and go swimming Normally when I get home Dave would make me a cup of tea and sandwich know it is just going home to a empty house, with nothing to complain about because Dave left lots of crumbs on the side it is these little things that I find most upsetting. Thinking of you Hugs Queenie
Romy…
…if there is one thing I have learnt is to never complain about our failing NHS…Myself and Richard had opposite views but if he was here I would tell him they never gave up on him, they got him off the chair, I heard him heavily being thrown down onto the floor, the living room carpet whereby all manner of emergency equipment was surrounding him along with six or eight para medics all frantically working for what seemed like hours on him, trying to revive him…If only Richard knew how much and for how long they were working on him, and how my view has now changed…i keep telling him they never gave up on him…well they did in the end, I was watching as one by one they walked away looking totally defeated…Yes Richard too had ambulance crew, police all calming me and working their utmost to bring him back…
I will never complain about our NHS again…
Romy, we lost our partners around the same time, there are a small group of us now who lost our partners the same week or the same month…
Oh yes, how true " life is out of our control…" this is what I had often said to Richard when he thought he was doing all the right things in keeping himself alive…that when out time is up, it is up…
I am just thankful we had not been rowing, well he never rowed it was me finding something to moan or complain about…just like on this fateful morning when Richard was still in bed but awake…I was in the kitchen when once again I spotted poppy seeds all scattered over the kitchen worktop, they had come from the loaf of bread…I was moaning I was going to leave it for him once again to clear up but decided to do it myself whereby I called out to him, " Richard, I have done it myself "
all sounds so meaningless and pointless now doesn’t it?
Jackie…
Thank you Dawn - so pleased you are keeping to the forum. We need each other xxx
Dear Sheila. Tou are so wise. It was your words at the very beginning that help me tackle every day without my love.
Take one day at a time, put one foot in front of the other.
It’s still the hardest journey I will have to take but I am looking forward to reaching my goal at the other end when I will meet him again.
This keeps me going.
I faced a really difficult time this week.
I reached my 65th on Tuesday. My first birthday without Phil and a milestone at that. We had so many plans bu
And big thank you to you we certainly do need each other love dawn
I faced a difficult time this week, I reached my 65th . My first birtday without Phil and a milestone.
My family have organised a meal for 24 of our closest family tomorrow.
I didnt want this without Phil but I know he would want me to be with family.
Im also off travelling again a week on Monday going to York with my son.
Another of Phils favourites.
I know hes with us in spirit.
I miss him every minute of every day and will never stop crying for him.
Thank you for those words at the beginning Sheila they help me to cope without my my best friend of 50 years by my side
Love Sandra xx
It’ll be lovely to be with them all and to go away with your son Sandra and shows such love.
Hi Trisha, I understand how you feel - it is a difficult journey
Regarding replies, not all messages receive a reply for one reason or another and I also think that expecipeople to reply to what ver we say is unreasonable- we are all going through an emotional journey and sometim s we read stuff but either don’t have the energy or desire to engadge I know it sounds a bit harsh but it is what happens
Sadie
Dawn Don’t feel you are not being taken notice of. I’m always posting and no-one replies and I don’t know if I’m posting in the wrong place or something. Don’t give up. xx
It’s coming up to a year soon since my husband died of cancer just after our 50th wedding anniversary. I am devastated and totally unable to cope with anything. My son of 41 has been living with us for about 6 years now to suit himself really and at first was comforting and understanding but this has changed in the last 6 months. He has now announced he is leaving to be 100 miles away. I am 72 and don’t know how I will manage without any company at all or with little things around the house and garden that I can’t do myself. It was awful to lose my husband but this is like a double blow and I feel so abandoned and hurt by this. We have a daughter but she lives 150 miles away and visits only rarely and briefly. I find my self crying constantly and can’t stop but I have no other family and am really afraid of being alone all the time. I know others are also grief stricken and really need friends who understand especially if there is anyone in the north of Scotland. Love and hope to everyone xx
Thank you very much
Maryjane, do you reply to every communication you receive ? I think all of us sometimes don’t get a response and many times there is nothing to add or to reply to the message received!!
It is nothing personal
Sadie x
Dear Sadie
I don’t reply to everything
Sometimes I don’t have the time and sometimes I don’t have the inclination
Hope you are keeping well babes
Haven’t spoken to you for a while but thinking of you along with everyone else on here
We are all doing our best
Love Romy xxxxx
Hi Romy - I wasn’t complaining! I was just clarifying to a couple girls that sometimes we don’t get replies
Glad to hear you are ok!!
Sadie xx
Hello Maryjane. I think most of us live alone following our loss. I’m only 9 weeks in and I honestly wish I wasn’t here. My daughter stays 5 mins away and I hardly ever see her. My son phones but he’s going through a bad time at work so it’s usually about that and telling me not to cry. What did we do to deserve this? This forum is a life saver as nobody judges you and you will get comfort. If you check the topics and see which are receiving most replies that is usually a better place to start. I stay in Paisley where are you? Please be assured we care it’s just some days we are worse than others. I scream into cushions, hit my settee and pray and pray that this gets easier but it’ s a long journey. Don’t worry about getting things done until they need done. Just try and see what’s on near you and just go. Look up Meetup they have lots from meeting for a coffee to book clubs. Let me know how you get on. Love Katie xx
I try to reply Sadie if someone has replied to me but I was trying to say this to Dawn who was clearly upset.
Thanks Katie and I’m sorry for your own loss. 9 weeks is still going to feel so raw. I wish I could say it gets better but I’m not sure that is true as everytime you feel a bit better something pops up to send you back to square 1 again. I too scream into cushions which has only the effect of alarming the cat! I’m in Inverness and my daughter is in central Glasgow. I’m trying to find groups and started a small coffee meeting group for those who joined a bereavement group run by the local hospice - just 9 of us and not everyone can come every time. It’s a start I guess. Take care and keep in touch. xx
Dear maryjane, we all thought we would live forever! Never giving much if any thought to how we would survive and live with the grief of losing our loved ones. The reality is stark and though it is helped enormously with help from family and friends sometimes that help is just not there making life seem unbearable.
I’ve replied to some of your posts in the past as we are in similar circumstances ,53 years married and husband died last July. I understand how you are feeling.
I think you’ve posted in the past that your son has not given the best of support and recently you posted he’d been very hurtful towards you. Although youll miss his presence , living with him may not have helped you through your grief.
Is his leaving maybe an opportunity to downsize yourself ? Are there any retirement communities or semi sheltered housing where you’d retain independence but gain company around you. You say you don’t see your daughter much but if you ask perhaps she could help you take that step.
My suggestions may be of no use at all but it’s all I’ve got to offer at the moment. If I remember correctly you have health problems that prevent you from getting out much moving to a busier environment might put amenities more on your doorstep. It’s just a thought.
Thinking of youxx
Dear Jacqi Hope you’re ok. Thanks for the reply. I’m sure it will be lovely. Just have to remember that Phil is by my side, because he said he would never leave me,
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