It really doesn’t make sense @TJ14 @PollyjaneW .
My mum (94 with Alzheimer’s) lives with us and I couldn’t hide Richard’s illness from her as I was nursing him in our converted dining room for 5 months. She so desperately wanted to swap places with him and it was so sad to experience. Now she forgets he’s died, and still goes to talk to him and lays a place at the table for dinner which causes me to break down quite regularly and she’s expecting him back. So sad and another reminder that age has nothing to do with it… xxx
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xxx
I can’t believe this but the coroners office have rung me to say they are investigating Rich’s treatment as apparently he was mistakenly given 2 doses of one of the chemos on the same day when they should have given it a day apart. The doctor can’t say whether this would have affected his death so I’ve got a 10 day wait whilst they do tests on my darling Rich to see if it contributed to his death. This is unreal.
I can just about accept the cancer was too aggressive to treat but the thought that he died because of a mistake is making me feel sick
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Oh my @TJ14 as if this isn’t hard enough I really hope it doesn’t come back as that being the case for your sake as although it could clarify something it will break you even further thinking you could have had more time xxxx
I don’t know how to process what the coroner has said. I thought losing him was the ultimate nightmare but now this investigation on top. I’ve just sat like a statue since they called. I don’t know how to function now
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I bet it’s like let’s smash their world apart and then just to make sure it’s hard enough let’s throw more their way xxxx
I’m so sorry to hear this @TJ14 it must be awful for you and the wait must be unbearable. We had to wait for ages to go through the report with the doctor and even then I went back down to the doctor’s as can’t accept what she said. Still can’t… not sure if this part of grieving. Try and keep yourself busy if you can and try not to think about it too much. Easy said I know. Take care and big hugs xx
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Thank you Hazel.1966. Im so sorry you had to go through more pain.I’m driving myself mad thinking about it. I think I’m going to have to shut it out until they decide whatever they decide. I’ll try to hang on to the cancer winning rather than any alternative.
Sending love and hugs back xx
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Our story was too little too late and three life threatening hospital infections delayed my husband’s chemo treatment but he should never have started chemo.
He should have been given more time at the hospice. Knowing the horror of caring my husband with advanced cancer, risk of infections, try to find some peace that he went quickly. Shocking and horrendous to experience but when advance cancer takes hold and spreads as it does, it’s the worst experience for the patient.
Please be kind to yourself and don’t let the NHS/hospital incompetence destroy or torture your precious memories of the good and pain free times 
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I am so truly sorry for you and your children. I too lost my husband, we were together + 20 yrs and like you thought we had many more years together . We had so many more plans for the future and that changed in the blink of a eye when he went !(cant ,yet say died) He like your husband 54yrs and left within 4 months of being diagnosed . I am 4 yrs on in May and nobody that can understand I’m ready too go and meet him . I still think my life stopped when he left and still wish to be with him but yet something still keeps me here and i really dont know what that is , I dont have any children. All i know is every minute , every hour is different so remember to rest, cry and eat when you want too . I now have 2 friends that have lost thier husbands at similar ages but we dont really discuss our losses its still too painful . Know im thinking of you and here if you need to chat xx
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Hi i lost my husband 11 weeks ago and the pain is getting harder .each day is a task .so many memories. So many things we were looking forward to after him having his knee replacement. Life seems so cruel my husband worked so hard all his life he was so looking forward to been pain free and enjoying the rest if his life .the pain is so hard at times .
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Life is so cruel . My husband left just over 5 weeks ago the pain is unbearable. He also was so hardworking , a true family man with morals of a saint. Kind, patient , caring, loving & fun
I cannot see a life without him . Just keep begging whoever is listening to take me quickly like they did him.
Sending lots of love xxx
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It’s so sad how we all feel the same. We all loved are husband/partners so much and they were all good men. Why is it that all the good ones get taken? My husband was so funny, loving, kind and would help anyone in need and yet he’s gone. It’s just so unfair. I feel so robbed of our future. This wasn’t how my/our life was supposed to turn out. It’s just c…p now.x
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Omg good old crap NHS …doesn’t suprise me cos they’re so incompetent !! My husband was in hospital and had severe sickness ! Guess what they sent him home WITHOUT the anti sickness pills !!! 
I hopee you get good news though honey xxxx god bless and just wait and see and go get yourself a whisky night cap xxx
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@Janiceg1 and @Loobyloo2 I am so sorry that you are going through this. Life is so unfair and cruel. I lost my husband suddenly at Christmas. He was 53. We just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary and had plans for 2 holidays this year. I got no closure and no answers. My husband was very sick which he and myself didn’t know. He was working to the end. It’s like I have a new life which I hate and want my old life back. We should have had another 25/30 years together. I still can’t believe that I will never see him again. Big hugs to you both xx
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Loobyloo my husband was same ! He was a good kind man ! Didnt deserve to go at all and he didn’t wanna go either ! He told me that its so hard isnt it to lose a lovely person god bless us all . A guy who knew both me and my husband said to me so sorry sbout your loss - i said he didnt deserve it and he said neither did you … and i think that applies to all of us here xx
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@sandi & @PollyjaneW
Yes hard on our children too. The night my husband died my daughter with a learning disability asked me two questions, whether it was true people could die of a broken heart and m, having watched Call The Midwife where someone took an overdose after losing their other half, whether I was likely to do that.
Once I reassured her neither of those things were going to happen she relaxed a bit and went to bed (it was 4am by this time.)
Often we don’t know what is in our children’s heads but that daughter just comes out and says it.
Love to you all trying to come to terms with this terrible reality.
Karen xxx
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xxxxx
Thank you Alison61. I’m so sorry for your horrible experiences with your husband’s treatment. I’ve been blindsided by this information from the coroner and I’m trying to already disregard the outcome of whatever they feel they need to investigate. It won’t bring him back whatever they conclude. I’ll just focus on finding a future with my kids xx
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