To silver fox
Yes we have thoughts that stay in our head and mind. I feel you are incredibly brave to share your situation. You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for. I wish I had a magic wand to use for us all. X
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Jacrobthorn
Thank you for you for your reply.
Yes it’s been a unimaginable journey but with people like yourself on this forum i’m helped along the road to recovery.
Take care 
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Tenpin
The magic wand you want we have we all have its our hearts 
You take care 
I’m really struggling today. My wife died at the end of January and the funeral is not for another 2 weeks. Tomorrow would have been our 42nd wedding anniversary and Im so full of tears tonight. We were inseparable all those years and I know I’ve got to carry on for the sake of my children and grandchild but it’s so hard.
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Sorry for your loss grief comes is waves try to distract yourself I have started a diary to recount my feelings. My spouse of 50 + years died suddenly of a heart attack at the end of December. I found him collapsed on the floor I called 999 and pumped his heart until paramedics came they were wonderful. It is the hardest time I have had to go through but like everyone I have a disabled daughter and another daughter who works very hard and a lovely granddaughter I am trying very hard to adjust to living on my own but it is very hard
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To Numb1
I’m so sorry for your loss. Let the tears flow. Tomorrow light a candle close your eyes and try just try to remember your happy times. I lost my partner 4th January and what makes it harder is the waiting on the funeral. I know your heart feels broken love but please for those around you that need you come together and support each other.
Thinking of you. Xx
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Thank you. I know you’re right it’s just so hard.
I feel for you over your loss and I appreciate you taking time to message me. It’s really appreciated. My close family have been great but it’s the feeling of loneliness and loss that is so difficult.
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Hi Numb1
We all just need to find a way to get through each and every day. It sometimes feels like we cannot cope, but we still have to try. I am sure that all our departed partners would want us to go on and be stronger for it, eventually.
My wife had a torrid life. She lost her first husband to suicide, with two babies to look after. She lost a newborn daughter at 5 days to a heart defect, she had lost her youngest brother at 34, and her dad at 52 to brain cancer, as well as being diagnosed with a chronic liver condition 23 years ago. She continued her life through all of that, and lived every day with gratitude that she had another day on Earth.
She has shown me that life does go on, as painful as it is sometimes, and you have to appreciate every day you are given, even if you don’t feel it.
You are right of course. It’s just difficult when you’re in the middle of it. I know my wife would be so annoyed with me for being the way I am.
My partner asked everyone to look after me and make sure I live my life for him as well. It’s soo hard for all of us. But I keep telling myself how much he loved me and fck this he’ll I’m living in at the moment the devil isn’t gonna win!!x
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It does feel very lonely when you are on your own with your grief and memories, but to me, just getting up in the morning and getting odd things done is an accomplishment.
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Jacobthorn
How very strong minded your wife was to manage to deal with all that life had thrown at her. You seem to have gotten some of her strength rubbed off on you.
Take care and keep those positive thoughts
you’ve inherited.
Silverfox
She was a great role-model, undoubtedly. She used to say that tomorrow was not promised to anyone. She was never really worried about money or material things.
She definitely taught me a lot. I will miss her more than i can ever say.
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So sorry for your loss…
I know exactly how you feel……angry and full of despair at the situation and the loss of your other half…
I lost my husband, literally my other half nearly six months ago……
He was only 63 and if he had been given the correct cancer treatment he might be here today….but he wasn’t , sadly…
I don’t think that as a woman I have had more support than a man on here…I think we are all just people, and the same as we are suffering the same loss …one of a partner.
We are all equal and suffering the same way…
I think the anger comes more from the why …….why her/ him……why me? ………why is life so bloody unfair……
You’ve got a right to feel anger…I think many of us do…but maybe it is more to do with the effect of the huge loss you’ve suffered…rather than anything else.
I hope you find some comfort from family…and I’m sorry that you don’t feel you’re getting support because you’re a man. We’re all human……and we all need it.
LisaJ
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I am so sorry for your loss. My wife had a fall at home and had stopped breathing the paramedics managed to get her heart going again but she never recovered. I also find it hard.
To all.
Unfortunately we are all on here because of the loss of our loved ones. We’ve all got special things to say about them and we all are hurting so much. I have found that interacting with you all on here is a help. A form of an invisible friend that understands that offers we me a hand to hold. Today hasn’t been too bad until the night comes. Now I’m lonely and for some reason afraid. Of what I don’t know. I don’t just cry for my beloved hubby I cry for my mum and dad. For their guidance love and help. I feel like a little girl again. X
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My wife was on intensive care at liverpool Royal the staff there went above and byond caring for her. It’s was just a shock when I was told the outlook was not good. I miss her every day.
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I’m so sorry you feel scared on top of everything. Irrational perhaps but totally natural and, too often, totally overwhelming.
You’re right too about the invisible hand being comforting but, to be honest, I need more when the clouds gather around me. I need company. Another human being to be there. Don’t even need to talk, to hold my hand, anything more than just be there.
I hate to think of you in tears, alone and scared - my broken heart breaks yet again. I can only hope that the love and support for you on here continues to reach out and give you the comfort you deserve.
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I can relate to your pain 1233. My husband was on a ward and hadn’t been well for a couple of weeks but we believed it to be the after effects of chemo and radiotherapy. He had been reasonably well throughout his treatment but had been told he would feel worse before he felt better. No reason to think it was anything else but when he had been in 4 days we were told that blood tests and scans showed severe liver and kidney damage and nothing could be done. We were told he had weeks not months . He died 5 days later and didn’t come home as planned. Such a shock and we didn’t get chance to talk about it 
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Couldn’t have put it any better. I echo everything you said
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