Your right they just don’t understand, I can’t be bothered even speaking to people anymore, sick of feeling like I have to apologise for the way I am. I can’t help it, I’m not doing it on purpose for sympathy or something. I don’t want to feel like this, who the hell would?
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Hi Jenw
Sorry to hear you have had a bad day I’m glad been on this forum helps it is nice knowing people on hear understand you will have bad days love but you can achieve anything we are all hear for you
Yes would be good if we lived near everyone and talk in person but at least we have this
Take care
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I understand why do we apologise for the way we feel ?
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My husband told me he would never leave me because of his hobby but here I am alone and heartbroken. I thought we had years ahead. We should have had years ahead of us doing just nothing and enjoying the grandkids. But no matter how I feel I cannot be the cause of our kids pain again so try to get through each day as best I can.
As Keskai has said we are in this together.
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Loosing your life partner is like no other grief, you are not just grieving for the person you have lost (although that is bad enough). You are grieving for the life you had together that has gone & the future you were looking forward to & had planned with your partner has been stolen from you.
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I know love plans you make that you are going to do together and things they supposed you to do
I’m going to still try and do the things we planned
I know it’s going to be hard but I know my husband will be with me every step of the way in my heart 
No one prepares you for the pain
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You are so right, I am grieving for my husband and myself and our children and all that should have been. I’m angry that he’s not here that we didn’t get to do all those things we planned.
Next Saturday will be my 49th birthday and should have been out 20th wedding anniversary and now it’s the complete opposite of what it should be. A day of sadness, a day to dread and just get through instead of celebrate. All I can think of is those days he’ll miss, the kids finishing school, starting work, finding partners having children. And what of me, no longer an us.
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Dear Lilyboost
Yes all the events and celebrations that our husband’s should have been here to see and enjoy. Next March we would have been married 40 years and together 44. We used to pat ourselves on our backs for such a great achievement. For this reason alone I know there is not enough time left of my life to get over his loss. My priority has become sorting out the finances (probate) and getting the jobs in the house finished so that our kids can have a good future.
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I sometimes wonder whether this is my punishment for being so very happy, for us being smug (just between us) for being married and happy for 31 years, for being so very content in just each other’s company and not needing anyone else.
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Don’t think like that luv you enjoyed your life’s together don’t feel guilty about that
Dear Lilyboost
I know what you mean. I have so many lonely hours to sit and wonder why our lives went from being so happy, looking forward to retiring, spending endless hours together to this nightmare. My husband walked up our garden path so happy that morning. I never imagined that would be the last time I was to see his smiling face. Perhaps as time passes one of the things we can hope for is that we no longer search for the answers to our questions.
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I hate the weekends. My husband and I would always have a lazy lay in with lots of cuddles and kisses on weekend mornings. What I would give to be holding him now.
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I can’t do this anymore. I’m dead inside and people don’t understand. They say I’m being selfish to others feelings. That other people don’t want to hear my sorrow and anger. Well that must be lovely for them not to feel what I’m feeling. No one cares or understands the absolute pain I’m going through. I can’t do it anymore xx
Sorry Jenw what do you mean you are being selfish to others feelings x
I am sorry for your loss I know how you feel x
Bless you Jen. It’s such early days for you. You’ve had a heartbreaking time. We do understand how bad you feel.
My heart goes out to you.
The people who don’t understand your intense grief don’t deserve your friendship.
True friends will understand
They say I’m being selfish because I feel depressed all the time and that’s selfish because others can’t deal with it and they want to only talk about good times. I’m sorry I can’t just shut off my feelings. I’m dead inside but how dare I depress anyone else xx
We are all hear to help you with your pain
Take care
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Direct them to the website refugeingrief.com it is written by someone who lost their partner young and suddenly. She is also a therapist. She does understand. One section of the website is for those who have suffered the loss, another part is for those supporting people who have suffered a loss. It might give those people who think you are selfish a bit more information and a little food for thought!
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You are not selfish you are going through grief they are selfish to not understand
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